Search This Blog

Sunday, September 23, 2007

What Would You Do If You Were A Looter In Kenya Today?

Somebody told us here that when you go to the bank and they tell you your balance is Kshs 500 million, your thinking and everything about you changes. I believe this is 1000% true and for this reason it would be very difficult for any ordinary Kenyans like me and you to figure out how looters think.

Just to give an example from the Kroll report. You are so rich that money is coming out of your ears, literally, but then you decide not to pay your lawyer’s bills and many other bills for services rendered. So when a lawyer keeps $650,000 from land they have sold on your behalf and sends you a fee note demanding the balance, you go ballistic. You even rush to a city hotel when somebody calls you to tell you that the lawyer involved is there having a drink and you go on cause a scene in public. Yet to you $650,000 is chicken feed. You could literally use it as toilet paper and not even think about it.

Still I will ask you to put yourself in the shoes of looters in view of the Saturday speech by Raila and also new developments in recent weeks which seem to threaten your family fortune stuffed in foreign accounts. What would you do now that it has become apparent that Raila is set to win the general elections? Would you;

(a) Join ODM and heavily finance Hon Raila’s campaign for the presidency and get as close to him as possible so as to avoid prosecution (or even worse returning all that money) when he walks into State House?

(b) Compile a long “hit” list and assassinate anybody who may have any evidence in connection to your looting ways (over 250 people).

(c) Pour billions into the re-election of Mwai Kibaki as president, so much so that it will look like Jirongo, Ruto and company spent chicken-feed in 1992.

(d) Do nothing. After all you are the proverbial stone that has proved time and again that it is too heavy to be turned and if anybody touches you, they shut down almost 50% of the Kenyan economy.

(e) Use some of your money to hijack parliament and get them to pass additional ridiculous laws that make it impossible for you to be investigated let alone be compelled to return anything.

(f) Arm your tribes mates for a war and use the time worn and time tested strategy of announcing that it is your tribe that is being finished, although many of them are starving to death and have not shared a single cent of your ill gotten wealth.

(g) Carry out the threat of 2001 to have Rift Valley secede from the rest of Kenya so that you can appoint yourself King of the Republic of Rift Valley forever. Kings are never prosecuted because they are not only above the law, they are the law.

(h) Use your specially pre[pared contacts for instigating violence and mayhem so that Kenya suddenly becomes ungovernable and elections are put off indefinitely.

Feel free to add other possible solutions that I may have left out.

The price for an ad here is ridiculously cheap. Click HERE to find out just how ridiculous.

Executive Internet and computer training in the comfort of your office/home plus installation of software and hardware and computer accessories as well as networking. Reasonable rates. 0729-469 082. Email: MOMBASA only.

Secretly Investigate Unfaithful cheating spouse in Kenya

Why married women cheat


Anonymous said...

Flashback to 1991:

Further, corruption is a deterrent to new investment in Kenya, economists and foreign officials say, and a Bush Administration official says the American Embassy here has told Washington in a report that it believes that President Daniel arap Moi and some of his top aides and relatives are the main offenders.........But the Embassy reported in another cable that the British High Commission estimated the wealth of Energy Minister Nicholas Biwott to be "hundreds of millions of dollars," chiefly in offshore holdings. As Cabinet Minister in charge of energy, Mr. Biwott's official monthly salary is 21,033 Kenyan shillings, about $750.

Anonymous said...

check out:
By Jamaa

Anonymous said...

Explanations and Justifications for this Spreadsheet

A Summary of this spreadsheet is as follows:

a) The race is a statistical DEAD HEAT that alomosts amount to a COIN TOSS


c) Kibaki wins in CENTRAL & EASTERN while NAIROBI is a COIN TOSS with
Kibaki having a slight edge.

d) There are VERY LOW TURNOUTS in NEP, and COAST (Raila & ODM Zones) and NAIROBI (Both Parties)

e) There are HIGH TURNOUTS in NYANZA & RIFT VALLEY (Raila & ODM Zones) and CENTRAL (Kibaki & PNU)

f) Western has a "relatively low" turnout, which costs ODM as the region has 1.5 million votes.

Province by Province Justification of Turnouts & Voting Patterns

NEP - Traditionally has very LOW turnouts for logistics reasons, and low levels of CIVIC education, as well
as a VERY LOW voter/ID ratio. This is an ODM zone, but because of the low turnout, it overall
numbers are NOT siginificant. However both Raila & Kibaki get 25% minimum required, and Raila
takes this province.

COAST: Traditionally very LOW turnouts because of apathy due to lack of VESTED INTEREST and a
feeling that elections are a WA-BARA issue. These elections are more interesting because
the Majimbo issue, and DEVOLUTION are on the table. I conservatively allocate a 5% increment
in turnout. Both RAILA and KIBAKI get 25% minimum. RAILA takes this Province because of
his consistent support for DEVOLUTION, Kibaki also loses the edge because of perceived MUSLIM

EASTERN: Reasonable turnout in original Meru, Embu, and Ukambani Districts. Kibaki takes 80-90% of the
vote in Meru & Embu. Kalonzo cleans them out in Ukambani Districts. Kalonzo also gets some votes
in Embu & Mbeere due to a sizeable Kamba vote. Raila & Kibaki share the pastoral districts with Raila
having an edge due to the issue of devolution and Islam. Kibaki gets a few more votes in Isiolo because
of siginificant Ameeru population.

NAIROBI: General apathy characteristic of Kenyan town, this is attributed to the DE-TRIBALIZED cosmopolitan
yound population. Patterns of those who turnout generally reflect the political position of their
home provinces. Kibaki has an edge due to the higher proportion of voters originating from Central
Province, while Raila gets votes from those coming from pro-ODM provinces. Kibaki also has
a disadvantage as usually hardship translate to anti-government feeilings in urba areas. KIBAKI takes
this province by a razor-thin margin. Kalonzo performs fairly well 10-15% due to the Kamba vote
and voters apathetic to both ODM and PNU.

NYANZA: Raila sweeps LUO Nyanza, Kibaki gets a "trickle" in Kisumu Town because of its cosmopolitan population.
Gusii Nyanza traditionally has VERY LOW turnouts because of lack of VESTED INTEREST in the
Presidential race. But Kibaki scorers reasonably 30-40% in Gusii Nyanza due to cultural tensions
between Abagusii and their Luo neighbors. Raila still scores VERY WELL. RAILA takes this PROVINCE.

WESTERN: LOW TURNOUT at referendum because of the LOW vote/ID ratio, as well as relative lack of interest
because of GUARANTEED VP Position no matter who wins. PNU does VERY WELL in Ford-K Bukusu
zones, but not as well as there is no Vice-President designate from that zone. Raila sweeps the rest
of the Province becuase of a) The MUDAVADI factor, b) Low Economic Recovery in the Kibaki era, the
feeling that the ONE TERM Kibaki promised in his alleged MOU with Mike Wamalwa was not implemented.
Estimated rise in turnout from referedum is 5%. RAILA Takes this PROVINCE, Kibaki gets fairly
above the required 25% minimum.

CENTRAL: This is a NO HOLDS BARRED Kibaki Zone. But traditionally the
turnout is relatively low because few youths hold ID-Cards and the issues do not excite young people.
But due to a VESTED INTEREST to retain the Presidency within the Province, a large turnout is
expected. It is safe to estimate a minimum of 10% increment in turnout in this Province. Raila gets
a few votes in Thika district and Kiambu District because of a smalll fraction of cosmopolitan population.
Kalolzo also gets a few Kamba votes in Mwea, and areas bordering Ukambani (Thika). KIBAKI sweeps
the Province with 95%.

RIFT VALLEY: This is the most politically complex and most populous province in Kenya. The Kalenjin
Districts traditionally have VERY HIGH turnouts (80-90%), and a VERY HIGH voter/ID ratio.
This being the case it is safe to assume a 5% increment in voter turnout (with a CAP at 90%)
in these Districts. Original Nakuru & Laikipia generally registers relatively low turnouts (55%)
but due to the VESTED INTEREST that the majority in Nakuru & Laikipia originate from Central
Province, it is safe to assume a 10% increment in turnout similar to Central Province. KIBAKI
will take 70% of the vote in this two "Districts". The Kikuyu Diasapora in Kajiado (about 40% of
the population), Uasin Gishu (10-15%), Narok (25%) and Trans Nzoia ( 7%) will bag for Kibaki
more votes in otherDistricts. Trans-Nzoia is the trickiest. Bukusus (traditionally Ford-k) are
about 60% of the population in this province, PNU support among Bukusus runs at about 70%
while the "other Luhyias" are about 85% ODM. Kalenjins (20% of vote) are ODM supporters,
and Kikuyus (7%) are PNU. Kibaki may take this district with razor thin majority of about 52% maximum.
Turkana is right now unpredictable but it is safe to assume that with incumbency, the vote will
be 50-50 in Turkana, while in Samburu ODM will have an edge. RAILA will take this province with
65 to 70% of the vote.


Kibaki 46% Raila 45% Kalonzo 9-10%, this is BEFORE SERIOUS CAMPAIGNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By jamaa.

Anonymous said...

I surely do hope that Kibaki and PNU dont move any higher.My reason is that I just received a message that goes like this "we are sending you this message to you in strict confidence as our own government has set aside some ksh 5 billion to enable our people purchase safaricom shares the money is available at equity but yo need to register first with MEGA and provide all your details. the shares will be bought for you by MEGA. we have set aside 75% of the shares for Embus, Merus, and Kikuyus.pass the text to only our people thanks." can you beleive this? Now Kikuyus have gone vs kenya and kenyans as a whole.Has anyone received this message or am I the only one


Related Posts with Thumbnails