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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

General Elections Jokes

In the last days of the Moi regime life was almost unbearable in Kenya (little did we know that the worst was yet to come). But thanks to the Redykyulass comedians Kenyans were able to laugh a lot about some very serious issues. We are in an almost identical situation (if not worse) with the Kibaki administration. And it is for this reason that we have launched political jokes in this popular blog. They will be updated regularly. Enjoy.

Count down to general elections jokes;

Emilio’s grand son asked his grand-dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time...?" Emilio replied, "No. Some begin with 'After I'm elected..."

Q&A (Exclusive)

On the achievements of the Kibaki Administration

Q: What has President Kibaki done almost effortlessly that former President Moi failed miserably at?
A: Unite the LDP and Kanu.

Q: What happened to the 500,000 jobs the Narc administration promised to create every year?
A: Statistics prove that 600,000 jobs have in fact been created annually since the Narc government came to power. Here is a recent breakdown;

50,000 carjackers
50,000 muggers
37 developers of collapsing buildings
63 liars and cover-up artists for Anglo leasing-like projects
100,000 Brand new burglars and other petty offenders
124,884 rapists
15,000 car thieves
22,000 pickpockets
12,000 Brand new beggars
750 Vicious Wife beaters countrywide out of frustration
250 Vicious Husband beaters countrywide.
100,000 child molestors
2 foreign mercenaries
1 Political asylum seeker in UK over Anglo Leasing
13 Local specialist newspaper burning and press raid experts
1 Former President actively involved in politics
125,000 Kenyan immigrants who have had to flee Kenya to seek survival elsewhere.

600,001 jobs in total have been created.

Q: What is the first thing that the President says after waking up?
A: "Good morning, Emilio."

Q: You know what the problem with political jokes in Kenya is, don't you?
A: They got elected in 2002. And some even more hilarious ones are leading opinion polls to get elected in 2007.

Q: Why is security so tight around Lucy Kibaki?
A: Because if something happens to her, Emilio becomes President!

See 2007 Election predictions


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