Love and Relationship Headaches
It all happened quite by accident and she suddenly found herself in a very difficult situation in a relationship she highly valued and wanted very much to work out. After all she was not getting any younger.
Her boyfriend had come over and she had left him playing around with her laptop as she took a quick bath. The minute she came out of the bathroom she knew that there was something amiss. It was the way he looked at her. Was that a look of disgust on his face?
“You mean you watch porn?” he had asked accusingly? Somehow the guy had found a few clips she thought she had hidden well in some folders in her computer.
So what do most Kenyan men really think of women who watch porn? I interviewed a number of them and to be honest was shocked at what I found out.
Many single Kenyan women these days regularly watch porn. They may not readily admit it to their guy but it is widely available on the World Wide Web. And people just watch it sometimes. Many are attracted to it by curiosity, others for a myriad of other reasons that will be the subject of another article here at a later date.
Interestingly my research tells me that most of them are forced to tell a fib if the man in their life asks them the question directly; do you watch porn on the web? In many ways this is very disturbing and stressful to many women because the truth is that generally they feel very guilty when they have to tell their boyfriends lies about personal stuff. At least most of them do. But then who wants to end their relationship on such a note. Imagine confessing to your girlfriends one day the real reason why you and him drifted apart; it was because I like watch porn occasionally. Yikes!!!
The truth is that most Kenyan men surveyed are uncomfortable about their future wife watching porn. And the most ridiculous thing of all is that most of these men who feel this way, watch plenty of porn themselves. How hypocritical!!
Jonas a man in his early 30s says: “It really depends. If she’s my girlfriend I will not be comfortable at all knowing that she delights in watching porn. However if she’s my wife, no problem because we will be watching it together.”
Surprises never cease when one is seriously looking into human nature because when I started this research project I was sure that a majority of men really don’t mind their girl being a porn addict let alone an occasional viewer.
It turns out that most Kenyan men despite the image they may try to portray sometimes are very conservative. One single guy studying in an American university told this writer that he was thinking of dumping his girlfriend whom everybody though he would marry, simply because she was a Catholic. The man’s parents are Pentecostals, although he hardly goes to church himself. I was shocked. You can never assume anything about these Kenyan men, can you?
Only a mere 5 percent of the men I asked this question genuinely did not mind if their women were porn addicts. One man told me bluntly that “chics are human beings, NOT robots.”
I am hoping that we can carry this survey a little further here in this blog. Do tell us what you think about this crazy topic.
Incidentally people also need to know that porn can be highly addictive and if one is not in a relationship can have negative long term effects that may even affect and hinder a woman from having a healthy relationship. Just as it often does the same to many Kenyan men who are porn addicts.
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