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Monday, July 21, 2008

How To Say “I Love You…” and Not Cause Them To Bolt

Everybody knows that men hate any kind of commitment. Indeed many women imagine (maybe quite rightly) that the worst nightmare a man can have is a woman telling them that she loves him. Or even worse, that she is pregnant. Both light up the red light and warning bells ring very loudly in a man’s mind because they all point to commitment which seems to be the last thing most men want.

Some women who have gotten carried away in a relationship and made the mistake of telling a man that they love them have ended up very hurt not only at the immediate reaction but the behaviour of the man soon after the encounter. Basically they bolt and run as fast as their legs can carry them.

In our modern world many men also find themselves in a situation where they tell a woman they love them and yet that is not the reason why the woman is in the relationship in the first place. If you make this mistake you will suddenly find that it is so difficult to get a date with her and she suddenly becomes too busy and occupied to see you.

So how do you say “I love you” without messing up your relationship?

It starts with the kind of honesty some people are not capable of. If your man only has you over for sex, then that is all it is, the word “love” does not come in and there is no way you can force it in. Try “lust instead. If the woman you think is your girl friend is always too busy to see you, then obviously love is not in the horizon, leave and continue your search for “the one.” She’s still out there somewhere… waiting.

But even if you are sure that your partner loves you, there are some two very important rules to observe. Firstly make sure that the timing is right. If it is the end of a very hard day and you have managed to somehow squeeze in sometime together, obviously they have plenty on their mind and to make matters worse, the next day is a working day. This is not the right time to bring up such a “heavy” topic of discussion.

Secondly it is important to break it easy. A good idea is to start off telling them that you really enjoy their company and are developing feelings for them. You just don’t blurt out; “I love you.”

This kind of approach of breaking it easy gives your partner breathing space and a better chance to respond. They can either tell you that is exactly the same way they feel, or they can admit that this love thing is not really for them.

This can save you a lot of hurt in a relationship.

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is more than funny that you come out with these subjects now when it is too late for yourself. As people near to you always stated, you find it easier to write and talk than to act. This piece is the best example: giving advises to other while you have run away from your family and responsibility yourself. As you rightly state, it is the worst which can happen to a man to find out that the woman with whom he thought to have had a casual encounter is pregnant. It happened to you, did it? And it is still your nightmare after more than 20 years. Right?

willpress said...

Never tell a dude those 3 words immediately after your maiden sexual encounter. . .brrrr! Chilling crime of passion, i tell you!

How To Attract Men said...

Putting a time line on "I love you" is impossible. It is not something you say to clench the deal. It is said when both feel so strongly about each other that it is more a natural development than anything else.

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