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Friday, July 25, 2008

Why sex hampers relationships

Sidney Sheldon’s classic Stranger in the mirror has a fascinating tale of how a woman landed a husband.

The woman was very desirable but also very generous with her favors to any man who was vaguely interested (if you know what I mean). So she decides for some reason that she wants to get married to this particular guy. Now the guy is a famous entertainer and women usually just can’t wait to jump into bed with him. So he expects the same from this woman. He is in for a shock and despite trying every trick in the book, he just can’t have her. All this time his feelings and desire for her are growing in leaps and bounds. Of course he ends up marrying her.

The point here is that the longer sex is delayed in a relationship, the greater that relationship ends up being. Clearly sex is a great hindrance to the development of a relationship. It tends to turn everything into a physical messy, sweaty thing where love flies out of the window much faster than you can say; “I am coming.”

You need to start by understanding that for most men, landing a woman in bed is a game. And the game is usually over for all intents and purposes when they have poured themselves into you or the condom they are wearing. Everything that happens after that is just for show to postpone the inevitable just a little longer. The feelings that set are usually of dis-respect and they say to themselves something like; was that what she was playing so hard for me to get? Is that all? Hakuna kitu hapo.

Terrible thing for a human being to think and feel over another one of the same species, but sadly it happens all the time.

For a woman, sex usually makes them develop very passionate feelings for the man. More so if the sex was great. In most cases while the man wants to bolt ASAP, the woman will be thinking to herself how it can be forever.

But if on the other hand a relationship grows without sex, the couple has a great chance to really get to know each other and 6 months down the line, or even more, without sex or even as much as a kiss will usually mean that this is something serious that definitely has long-term prospects.

And this talk you hear all the time these days about people swearing that they are soul mates after knowing each other for just a few weeks and followed by some great sex before the first month is up is just silly and folks cheating themselves.

Previous relationship stories

How to ask for sex in marriage

Will those stretch marks cause romance to fly out of the window?

How to say, "I love you" without causing panic

Do Kenyan men like women who watch porn?


Anonymous said...

I love your relationship articles. Please don't stop. I am almost...

Mcheku said...

Okay I have to agree, these relationship articles are really cool Chris, keep it up! I am hooked!


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