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Monday, July 28, 2008

Deadly Mother-in-laws Part 2 of 3

Yesterday we read the horrifying real life tale of what a mother-in-law did to completely and ruthlessly destroy her son’s marriage. There are many other horror stories that happen all the time in many homes across Kenya.

So what can a woman really do when the mother of the man she loves does not like her?

It is important to understand that chances of you and your mother-in-law being friends are really slim. So don’t push it. Just like your man can never really be great friends to your mother. There are exceptions to the rule of course (personally I know a few). But the reality here is that his mother instinctively feels that you are taking away her son from her, how can she like you? This is important to grasp because many women go through life miserable believing that their husband’s mother doesn’t like them because there is something wrong with them.

Actually the severity of your problems will heavily depend on just how close your man is to his mother. The closer they are, the more serious a problem you will have in your hands.

The truth is that many folks do not realize that mothers-in-law are notorious for breaking up marriages and relationships on very flimsy grounds. These “excuses” for causing their sons to part with their women range from; “she is not clean” to “she doesn’t know how to cook, my son will starve” to “she is a mchawi.” Interestingly the last accusation is common where the woman is so deeply in love with her man which may cause him to change in many ways. So the poor woman gets accused of witchcraft when the only “madawa” she has given to the man is love. Incidentally many people including this writer believe that passionate love is a form of “uchawi” which causes people to do very strange things. However it is not the negative “uchawi” that many mothers-in-law have in mind against their poor daughters-in-law.

But the women who suffer most in the hands of these “monsters-in-law” are the ones who for some reason are unable to conceive and give birth.

You will hear cruel comments like; “What is that woman still doing in his house.” Notice that she ceases to be his wife and becomes “that woman.”

It actually helps a great deal when there is a father-in-law in the picture. Indeed it has been proven that the most notorious mothers-in-law are single parents who have always been way to close to their sons. Somehow the presence of a man in the home tends to make a huge difference and it becomes a lot more difficult for the mothers-in-law to get involved in excesses.

In the final part of this series tomorrow we examine tips on how to deal with your mother-in-law. Don’t miss it.

Men who pick up decent women on the streets

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