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Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Who Has More Balls: Kalonzo Or Ngilu?

Today's posts are dedicated to "agent Jack Bower" Ngilu, Mwalimu "irrevocable promissory notes" Mati and to the ODM registration certificate.

No abusive language, no lectures please, and certainly no emotions, let us just state the facts as they are. This is not about ODM or its' comedy-of-errors-presidential-nomination circus. This post is all about answering one simple question.

The question is simply this;
Who has more balls, Hon Charity "Jack Bower" Ngilu or Hon Kalonzo "Hide in the toilet" Musyoka?

Just answer that simple question.

Please, please gentlemen. This is not about Kumekucha being a Raila blog (anybody who can barely read English can tell that that allegation is preposterous. If you must call this blog somebody's blog then call it a John Githongo blog). This is not even about politics. We just want to establish who is the braver personality without fear or favor.

Incidentally I don't think I need to remind you folks that this is not the first time Hon Ngilu has displayed bravery that shames most trouser-wearers in Kenya (most of whom are trying to disguise themselves as men but did nothing as the country went to the dogs during 24 years of Moi's misrule and the last 4 years of… By the way this includes the trouser wearer called Kumekucha).

Remember the dramatic photograph in the Daily Nation in the 90s where then MP Ngilu lifted her skirts (albeit a little too high) as she ran from police batons and tear gas at the University of Nairobi? All men could do was shamelessly gawk at the legs, swallowing lots of saliva and say "wow, good legs madam MP). No marks for guessing one of the reasons why that edition of the Daily nation was a sell-out

Neither do I need to remind you that Hon Ngilu was at the center of bringing the original partner political parties in the coalition together. Her efforts culminated in the formation of the Narc coalition that carried the December 2002 elections and swept Mwai Emilio Stanley "reneged on the MOU" Kibaki into power.

The only thing I have against this brave lady is the fact that the Health Ministry these days sounds like some marketplace in Ukambani, with heavy Kamaba accents all over the place. Still despite the blatant tribalism, the ministry is undoubtedly one of the star performers (if not the principal one) in the Kibaki administration.

I have done a lot of brave things in my lifetime. I am at least much braver than the Mwingi North MP.

But still…

I hereby humbly and meekly hand over my trousers to you Hon Ngilu, I don't deserve to be wearing them. I shall henceforth operate in skirts, lesos and Kangas etc until further notice. I shall not even come anywhere near a trouser suit.

Now about the man from Ukambani who wants to be president of Kenya…

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Vikii, I don't really like it when people (whether in NARC K) or ODM hurl insults at each other. We are all brothers whichever side we belong. But for you to say that you can only vote for ODM if Kalonzo is the candidate is selfish and defeatist. Remember I asked you a question which you haven't answered. Why won't you vote in Raila!? And if Nyong'o and the ilk are thugs, will you expect them to back KM if he wins the ODM candidature? Do you really believe KM and by extension ODM will go anywhere without Raila?

All the same, you need not worry. A certificate is just a piece of paper; the party is the people. Do you know what that means? I will tell you. This issue about unity was just a gimmick. That the candidates pledged to remain in ODM whoever is nominated was just a public show. The real battle lies ahead. And a colleague of mine told me something that is clearly coming out now; that come December, three names will surely be on the ballot paper, KM, RO, and Kifaki!

Vikii, even in post-election period, I will still stand for unity anywhere in any party, especially ODM. But you, I am afraid, are a saddist, a defeatist and a selfish species of the human nature. And please, this is not an insult, I don't insult people. This is just a challenge. Real men live up to challenges. No need for insults!!!

Enjoy your weekend guys!!

Chief Dr. Alhajj, MA Nanga,MP, Minus Opportunity!


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