WARNING: This is a tongue-in-the-cheek post
Dear Kumekucha,
Allow me some space in your blog which is losing readership, contrary to what your hit counter is showing, but where I am pleased to note that people like Luke have acknowledged that the economy is growing so much so that they are constantly admiring its' upward swing.
I suspect that you will not publish this post because yours is clearly Raila Odinga's 3rd campaign site. The first is www.raila.com, the second is www.jaluo.com and Kumekucha is the third.
However I am no idiot and I have my own strategy to ensure that you publish this important patriotic post. I am reliably informed that you never read posts contributed by others and only use the spell checker to find certain words and phrases to hurriedly post them. I hereby include those words to be found by your spell checker so that you duly publish this post. Here are the magic words; Raila, Raila Odinga, Tom Mboya, JM Kariuki, Robert Ouko.
Now let me get to my point and the whole reason for writing this. I have watched with interest and I must say lots of delight and overwhelming joy as certain cabinet ministers linked to the scandal that never was, called Anglo Leasing have been re-appointed to the cabinet. It started with the re-appointment of Kiraitu "Anglo Leasing is the scandal that never was because all the money was returned" Murungi. And then most recently followed by the re-appointment of Daudi "Anglo Leasing I will get to the bottom of it in my own way" Mwiraria.
In fact you can listen to the famous Mwiraria hit recording in connection to Anglo Leasing now. (Click here to listen NOW. Scroll down to the bottom to see link to tape and also to transcript).
This was pure fabrication by John Githongo because as we are aware, all the money was returned and even the promissory notes were all burnt to ashes and will therefore not be paid, I suspect that this Mwalimu Mati guy who keeps on insisting on those damn promissory notes must also be a British spy just like Githongo is. It just beats me why people like Githongo cannot realize that it is our turn to eat and just eat quietly without raising so much dust. Shauri yao we will see what will happen to them when it is the turn of others to eat. Everybody needs to eat to live, even you Kumekucha knows this, after all you must be eating somewhere to write the misleading articles and Raila propaganda you churn out in this blog every day without fail. You think somebody can do that without eating somewhere? Love for the motherland kitu gani!
But of all the re-appointments that have taken place so far one man has been left out whom I feel should have been the first to be re-appointed. After all there are no fabricated tapes or any shred of any evidence linking him to Anglo Leasing. What is wrong with somebody's wealth growing as the economy grows? What is wrong with people working hard to amass a lot of wealth quickly? This beats attending endless ODM rallies carrying plastic hammers, any day.
Anyway, because of the loyalty of this "njamba" amongst other qualities he should be immediately re-appointed to the cabinet. And with immediate effect. Let the people who are making meaningless noise including Kumekucha keep on making their noise and writing meaningless articles and attending endless ODM rallies.
My recommendation is that he should be appointed Minister of Finance that way he will not need to convince anybody to sign certain critical documents like had to be done with Anglo Leasing and the economy will grow even faster. He will just sign off everything himself and that way even the nosy press and civil society will be less likely to interfere with nation-building activity at the Treasury. I guarantee that the economy will grow by 18% (or even more) if this Njamba is put at the Ministry of Finance.
But in case it is absolutely not possible to have Chris Murungaru as our Minister for Finance (although I don't see why not). Then my second recommended choice is the Ministry of foreign affairs. As you know the mheshimiwa is currently barred from setting foot in The United Kingdom and the United States. How unfair! His appointment as minister of foreign affairs would be a very patriotic move because we will have a Goldenberg opportunity (oops sorry, I meant a golden opportunity) to flex our muscles as a country and show those Londoners and the proud Yankees that we are a sovereign state. This will simply be done by henceforth insisting that all important negotiations on behalf of British and American interests in Kenya have to be done by him personally as a Minister and ONLY in London, followed by the signing which must be done Only in America, preferably Washington DC. This will be a good reward to the mwehishimiwa for his loyalty and excellent fundraising skills. I am sure this will work as a charm, because sooner or later these hypocritical super powers will need a favor, whether it is something to do with the war on terrorism or giving British companies some lucrative contracts in Kenya.
Allow me some space to pass on greetings to your dictionary-overusing-side-kick Taabu who always agrees with you, even when you call him names. And your other accomplices who are always pretending not to agree with you but are also "eating" from the sponsors of this blog (why else would people waste their time writing articles here) like Phil of Kibera slums, Vikii wa Kalonzo, Kalamari the womanizer, Derek whinner and the pornographic fake Derek as well, not to forget your chief foreign and propaganda master Marianne Brinner herself. Oh and most recently that young girl who has no idea what she is talking about, Sue or something like that. My advice to all Kenyans is to work hard and get something better and more useful to do than to write fiction (that you try and pass off for political analysis) on the Internet every day for other idlers to read. Or attend endless ODM meetings with plastic hammers.
I reserve my praise for Proud Kikuyu Woman (PKW) and Luke. PKW always tells Kumekucha off and exposes him for who and what he really is. Didn't you notice that she did such a good job last weekend that Kumekucha deleted her comments. We all know that Kumekucha never knew where the delete button was before last weekend. Then ATI the guy claims that she is in fact a man. The guy must be losing it. Maybe even Kumekucha is a 19 year old girl.
And the reason why I praise Luke as well is because as you will notice he does not write many meaningless comments here. He is always too busy admiring the unprecedented economic growth the country has experienced since 2003. On the few occasions when he writes he always reminds us of the good economic growth Kenya is experiencing. What a Kenyan! Anajivunia kweli kua Mkenya, this guy. Why don't you fellas join him? If Luke was to take over as the main Kumekucha blogger, this blog and our country would go very far and I see Kenya being amongst the Tiger economies by the time President Kibaki finishes his second term in 2012 and being a super power in Africa.
Again I ask, why don't you useless fellas join him. Or you can join me in this noble campaign to have Chris Murungaru re-appointed to the cabinet with immediate effect.
Na Kibaki abaki.
NJAMBA!!!
P.S. In case Hon Chris Murungaru is re-appointed to the cabinet remember that you first read the recommendation in Kumekucha.
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