Obama: A Dream come True

The late American poet Langston Hughes may have foreseen the rise of an African American to the helm of the world’s most powerful country when he penned the powerful words encapsulated in the poem below (which was written many years ago).

AFRICA

Africa,
Sleepy giant,
You’ve been resting awhile.
Now I see the thunder,
And the lightning,
In your smile.
Now I see the storm clouds,
In your waking eyes:
The thunder,
The wonder,
And the new surprise,
Your every step reveals,
The new stride,
In your thighs.

Elsewhere on the Web:

My Son, Take it Slow: Aids is a Rapacious Prowler

Tribalism: Kenya’s Oldest Skeleton in the Closet

Who are Albinos?

Are you as Good as your Word?

Facing Challenges Head-on: The Battle is not for the Self-effacing

“Love”…with an Eye on the Prize!

I don’t refute the claim that there is true love (and I know many people who are beneficiaries of this bug). But I know there are people who take advantage of people’s feelings in the pretext of “loving” them.

There are some women (and men) who would give their eye teeth to get hooked to a rich white man or woman with a long-term aim of settling abroad. This is very rife in Africa (particularly in Kenya).

The allure of the West has turned into an anthem to every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to bid farewell to penury and (beggary). Many young people have the notion that if they go to the UK or the USA, their lives will change drastically (for the better!)

Most of them have found out that there is no easy way of hastening their steps to the $ and the £, than waltzing their way into the lives of male and female (white) tourists in the hope that they will eventually be whisked to the lands that they have always desired to travel to (and hopefully settle in).

Getting a Visa to countries such as the UK and the USA can prove hard because of the exhaustive (and equally exhausting!) procedures that are involved. But this is no hurdle to these gold digging young men who could traverse the most expansive ocean to get to the lands (and the money & opportunities) they aspire.

They tend to believe that falling in love with their white friends and getting married to them is a sure fire way of circumventing this obstacle. {But is it a solution, really?}

You’d care to see what some of the young men get married to: some very old, (moneyed, yes!), scrawny hags that would pass for anyone’s grandmother or better still, great grandmother!

I call such kind of love: “Love… with an Eye on the Prize!”

Passion, love and anger

Everybody envies lovebirds. In fact most people have never really been in love and wonder what it is like believing that it is a pleasant experience.

However those in love describe it as bitter-sweet. Meaning that there is the bitter side of it and even the deadly.

Passion can drive people to extreme lengths.

Take the case of John and Anne. The two were in love. It was love that bordered on the crazy because they spent every single moment they could snatch together. Now with love also comes possessiveness. And with possessiveness often come jealousy. Now John started having nightmares than Anne was seeing somebody else secretly.

Finally he blurted it out to Anne one day. Now the problem here is that Anne had an explosive temper and John was very proud. The kind of proud man who would rather die than lose face. And so what was supposed to be a very minor thing blew up into a major disagreement. Anne felt that John was nuts to imagine that she was unfaithful to him when they spent so much time together. Surely where would she get time to even talk to another man? On the other hand John felt that if it was not true then surely Anne would not have been so angry.

The two love birds stormed off in anger. John had expected Anne to soothingly stroke his ego and calm his fears. Instead Anne had exploded in a way that he had not seen before. What followed was a disaster. Anne was so angry that she went off and slept with somebody else. In her rage she told herself that if she had been accused she might as well make the falsehood true. She deeply regretted her actions immediately it was over. But it was too late. As they say, Hasira ni hasara.

John sulked for days and could not think straight. His work suffered and when he was called in by the boss to explain himself, he exploded and started shouting at his employer. This was no government department and he was fired on the spot. To date John and Anne hate each other so much that if they were the only two people left on earth, they would still not speak to each other.

In another case this couple were deeply in love and sadly the woman worked in a far off town. She went out one night and got drunk and slept with somebody else. Sex is powerful and she started having feelings for her one night stand. She could not bear the guilt and broke off her relationship with the man who was so hurt that he quickly got married on the rebound to somebody he had no feelings for. Naturally the consequences of his actions were bound to catch up with him sooner or later and they did.

Oh yes, love and passion can be very deadly and very damaging

Why did long awaited pregnancy turn into a crisis?

Secret of success that should not be a secret

The most important investment you will ever make in your small business is in yourself. It is rather obvious that the more skills and knowledge you have the better your business will do.

This is why it is very puzzling that most entrepreneurs never bother to enhance and improve their skills and knowledge. How many small business owners will you find at Bookpoint book shop on Moi avenue looking for a good book to help them improve their businesses? Most will say that they don’t have the time. And so they will continue doing the same old things that don’t work expecting different results. We are clearly told that that is the definition of insanity.

Yet the World Wide Web has made things even easier. You can get any information you want online and for free. However a word of caution. You will need to be methodical and have a plan of how you are going to fish out the information you are looking for.

Naturally high on your list of priorities is improving your marketing skills because your ability to find customers will have a very immediate and direct bearing on the survival prospects of your small business.

Actually the truth is that to be able to get all the information you need for free online, will take you lots of patience. And yet as they say time is money. The solution of course is to purchase specialized information that you are sure fits your situation exactly. This is important because there are some things which may work in the US but will flop badly in Kenya. So what you really need is a Kenyan expert who has a track record of success.

The benefits are numerous and include the fact that you will end up saving a lot of time and focusing on your exact needs. That is exactly how folks are using the Worldwide Web to transform their small businesses from struggling mode to big success.

Why not take the time to enroll for an online course that will transform the way you market your business. It is being conducted by a Kenyan marketing expert who has had lots of great successes on the Kenyan market. On enrollment you will receive daily lessons that you can apply immediately to your business. It is a 2 month course (40 lessons) and you will receive each day’s lesson via email. You can also consult with the resource person via email mobile telephone (both networks) and landline as well. He can only accept a small class at a time so register Now. It will cost you only Kshs 1,500 for the full course. You can start right away and pay later when you see for yourself just how useful it is to your business. accepted.

Email now to:- umissedthis at yahoo dot com for details. Put the words “Online Course” in the subject area and your email will be passed on to the expert running the course. You can also learn a lot from this SEO training article.

Excuses men use to dump their girl friends

Men are strange animals. Essentially they are animals.

Sample this. After a relationship that has lasted a long period of time, a man decides to end it. There are many different reasons why a man can decide to do this. Maybe he has seen somebody else he likes more. Or he is just plain bored with his woman and would like to “free himself” to move on.

Whatever the reason, instead of telling the poor girl that he would like to end the relationship, he starts fishing around for an excuse to end it. Usually it ends up in some sort of accusation. He will say that he does not trust her anymore or that he has evidence that she has had an affair.

This usually works like a dream on unsuspecting women because they will focus o the accusation and it will never cross their mind that the guy is juts fishing around for an excuse. I even know of men who have gone as far as setting up their girlfriends with their men friends and then they turn up right on cue and storm out of the bar or social place saying that they have now seen enough evidence of their girl friend’s infidelity.

Women should especially look out for these tell-tale signs of a man sabotaging a relationship deliberately when they bring up the topic of their long term prospects or marriage. That is when they will see wonders. Some men will tell their girl fiends that their parents don’t like them, when this is a lie. Other times they will claim that their relatives never wanted a woman who is from a different tribe. As if one marries a woman for their relatives.

This is a very serious matter, but I have to admit that in my time I have seen hilarious excuses that men have used to end relationships. Here are some;

- “You don’t know how to cook chapattis and my mum says…..”

- “You are too thin and my parents are wondering if you have Aids.”

- “That kid you got pregnant with in school, my family does not want outside blood in the home.”

- “I love you but my mum says your complexion is too dark.”

- “I love you but you are a PNU supporter.”

- “I love you but you support ODM.”

- “I love you but you earn more money than me and my mum says…”

- “My big brother doesn’t like you.”

The juicy irresistible carrot

British women and their craze for vibrating things

Most people don’t know this common reason for business failure

Chances are very high that you will read this article and recognize yourself. That is you are the creative type.

It is a known fact that most entrepreneurs are the creative type. Creative people are great at coming up with new things and new ideas. However they have one major flaw. And that is the get bored very easily. They are not the type of people to keep up successfully with routine repetitive things. This is the reason why big businessmen and women thrive, simply because they have the resources to employ others to take care of the dull stuff.

Now the big problem is when a small business is starting out without much in terms of capital and resources. Many businesses that had great potential have failed in this way. The founder hardly realizes that it is the daily repetitive, boring things that have to be done over and over again that make their enterprises successful.

This is also very true for any online business as well as offline businesses.

Chances are very high that the only thing that stands between you and tremendous success is you bracing yourself to do all the repetitive boring stuff that will lift your business to success in due time.

It is a good idea to start with the chores you hate the most earl in the morning and then reward yourself with the stuff that you enjoy, when you are done.

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Signs That She Wants You

These days there are all sorts of so-called experts literally coming out of the woodwork who are making all sorts of claims and selling their books and information to millions.

Before we examine some of the most controversial of these claims it is useful to look into the reasons why mostly men seem to be so interested in reading the thoughts of their dates.

Evidence suggests that the gap between men and women is widening. Men are getting busier (sometimes watching porn on the web) and as a result are hardly interested in investing the time or being patient enough to learn about the women in their lives. So what they are basically looking for are quick-fixes and one night stands.

Some of these so-called experts claims that if a lady you are dating starts to circle the top of the glass slowly with her fingers, then it is a clear sign that they are interested in sex with you as soon as possible.

They add that if on the first date a lady holds your arm unconsciously, then it means that she is interested in sex soon. However if she holds you anywhere on your legs it means that she wants sex on that same day.

Over to you dear readers, what do you think?

Woman complains about insensitive lovers

Form Simple Habits To Make Serious Money

Did you know that what makes up your life is your daily routine? Which means that for you to be successful you simply have to find the right daily routine, make it a habit and your success is assured.

Admittedly the big challenge to succeed in any business is therefore to find the right daily routine or the right habits to form. This is not always easy, however when you do find your daily routine, you should make sure that you stick to it and sooner or later the results will start to show. Always remember that it is very rare to get immediate results in anything. You need to be patient. Success takes time.

Let me give you an interesting example. I have a friend who started his business while he was still working for somebody elsewhere. He made special arrangements with his employer to be reporting to work at 9am and leaving at 6pm instead of 5 pm like the others. He was a valued and very productive employee so his boss had no problem accepting his proposal. What he did every morning was report to his business office at 7 pm work for 50 mins and then use the remaining hour making about 2 sales calls. He did that until it became a habit, almost second nature. Now you might not think a mere 2 sales calls a day is a big deal but from this routine the man today has a multi-million shilling business.

So look at your business carefully today and come up with a daily routine and then just make sure that you stick to it. You will be amazed at the results.

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Are you lovesick?

Have you ever been through that bitter-sweet experience of being in love?

It’s quite something. You cannot stop thinking about the other person. They are on your mind the whole day and the whole night too. When you wake up they are the first person you think about. At night you go to sleep with them on your mind. And whenever you meet three tends to be a crowd. You just want to be left alone with each other. It is like nobody else exists in the universe.

Many times, this is simply infatuation which wears off fairly quickly. But what about if it is true love?

It is interesting how most people spend most of their lives dreaming about a true love coming into their lives without giving much thought to the complications that usually accompany that true love. In the end, the lucky few who find love end up with many regrets because of the heartaches and sheer torture that comes with it.

For instance if you are separated by long distances, you really feel the pain that cannot be quenched by long telephone conversations or anything else. Other times due to your partners’ circumstances chances are that your family members will be strongly opposed to you having any relationship with them. Close friends may even strongly advice you against continuing the relationship.

It is interesting how virtually every tale of true love that triumphs is always one of overcoming many obstacles and difficulties before the two people who love each other so much can be together and live happily ever after.

Good luck to all you love-sick folks out there. There is no known cure for true love other than being together for better or for worse, in sickness or in health.

And to those who have not found love yet, think of the complications and difficulties that come with it, the next time you feel lonely.

Woman complains about insensitive lovers

Overcoming Resistance From Would-be Buyers

Everybody knows that no enterprise anywhere can survive for long without sales. And yet we also know that nobody likes to be sold to.

Just picture this for a minute. You need to buy something and you have made a decision in your mind to buy it. So one day when you are leaving the office, you meet this hawker pushing that item in your face and shouting out a cheap price, urging you to buy. What will your reaction be? Chances are that you will shake your head and refuse to buy. But why? You need the item and besides you are ready to buy, but still you resist.

This happens all the time and it is something that anybody in business must know and understand. The minute you look like you are selling something the natural reaction you will get from most people is resistance.

What this means is that the biggest secret to successful selling is NOT to look like you are selling. Actually the minute you can penetrate this “barrier” that we all surround ourselves with, the minute somebody tries to sell us something, it will become very easy for you to sell anything and your business will make sale and after sale and become very successful. It is really as simple as that.

Overcoming the natural resistance that people have to being sold to is even more important online. This is the reason why the most effective way of selling anything online is NOT by advertising it. The way to do it is by providing useful information.

For instance you may want to purchase a new cell phone but you need one with a good in-built camera. And so you go to Google and do a search for a cell phone with camera and you type the word “Kenya” at the end of the keywords you use. Let us say you end up at this site where they give you the information you are looking for. You read it and at the bottom of the page there is the price that the cell phone is being sold at and information on how to order. Chances are that you will buy that phone. Notice that there is no resistance here because nobody tried to sell you anything, they simply provided you with the information.

And it gets even more interesting. It is possible to provide people with interesting information about a product they have never heard of and chances are that you will be able to easily sell it to them. Find a way of doing this effectively online and you will make some serious money.

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Lady Beware: What Type Are You To Your Man?

Ladies should be extremely careful not to be fooled by any man because to a man there are only four types of women and you must fit into one of the four categories.

1. There are those women that a man just wants to sleep with and nothing more.

2. Then there are those women a man would deeply desire to be the mother of his children.

3. Still there are those women a man would love to be seen with to impress his friends and foes, and nothing more.

4. And finally there are those women that on very rare occasions some men fall hopelessly in love with and they stop thinking straight like a normal man.

Don’t hold your breath to the fourth type of woman because it is a very rare thing indeed.

So where do you fall? Many women fall into the first category and are fooled into believing that there is something more in the relationship. What you need to remember is that a man hunting you out will rarely reveal his true intentions unless you are already physically attracted to him and he notices.

To be put into the second category is also not easy. In this regard most men are extremely conservative and sadly will often take advice from close friends when making this decision. That makes it a wee bit difficult for you if you met at some bar in Nairobi. In neighboring Tanzania for instance where a man meets a woman is extremely important and most men believe it is crazy to marry a woman you met at a bar, no matter how beautiful and nice she is. Very old fashioned and the kind of thinking that comes from two centuries ago, I know. But sadly that is the reality.

Many women are unknowingly in the third category. They are like a new car, designed to impress and lift up the image of a man and nothing more. These women get delighted when they are introduced all over the place and mistakenly assume that this means that a long-term relationship is in the offing. In a few cruel instances the man will even introduce them as their future wife. Don’t be fooled.

We will not even discuss he fourth category because it is easier to find Diamonds in Kenya than it is to find true love, but I do know a man who recently proudly told me that the woman in his life fits into all four categories. Some dreamer I guess, kwani what kind of woman is that?

5 women I avoided in bed

Small Business Opportunity Laptop Ideas

Probably one of the best small business opportunity laptop Ideas involves buying and selling.

Best Small Business Opportunity Laptop Idea: Buy And Sell Your Way To Success
The reason why any business involving buying and selling has to be one of the best small business opportunity laptop Ideas should be pretty obvious. While the net has turned the world into a small village, it is still very difficult to identify local needs and opportunities without physically visiting a place.

No matter how good your contacts on the ground are, more often than not they will not be able to "see" the small business opportunities you seek even if it were to hit them on the face. Your small business can thrive tremendously by you traveling personally to seek opportunities even as your reliable laptop ensures that the day to day running of your site proceeds as usual. And what's more you may not need to visit a place more than once if you make a point of establishing local contacts in the particular industry or trade that your web based business focuses on.

Buying and selling from various different regions and countries is one of the best small business opportunity ideas that any entrepreneur can fully exploit with the help of a good reliable laptop computer.

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Is Your Small Business In Trouble?

If you are running a small business that is now in trouble, chances are that you are thinking furiously about diversification and are about to launch a different product quite possibly in another field altogether. Diversification is a highly favored strategy for many.

But hold on a minute. Is that the right way to go?

Think about it for a minute. The sun is very powerful but because it spreads its’ rays over a wide area, its’ rays are mostly harmless. Compare that to a laser beam which is many times weaker than the sun. However because all the energy is focused in one place, it is able to cut through metal and even something as hard as a diamond.

There is a great secret behind the power of focusing and there are thousands of stories to be told.

We all know the Coca Cola and Pepsi, two keen competitors in the world soft drinks market. Interestingly Coca Cola has always been the more profitable company. Many experts attribute this to its’ sharp focus on soft drinks. Pepsi on the other hand is a very diversified company that is in many different businesses, many of them are supposed to compliment it’s soft drinks business, like its’ heavy investments in the manufacture of snacks.

Carefully study any business you care to think of and you will quickly realize that companies that have a focus on their core line of business or niche tend to do much better and survive much longer in the market than businesses that have diversified all over the place.

The way to save your small business is to re-focus within the narrow field that your business covers. The solution may be in going for an even tinier segment of the market you are kindly targeting. Less is actually more because you will end up being a specialist in a world that is filled with generalists.

Look at it this way, it is much better to be a big fish in a small pond than it is to be a small fish in the big cruel ocean.

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How Important Is Age Difference In Relationships?

Visit any dating site and you will quickly realize how important age is to everybody envisaging a relationship with the opposite sex.

It seems that most people have remained pretty conservative in their ideas of how old their other half should be. The man must always be older by a few years, usually not more than 5 is ideal but beyond 10 would be pushing it.

But wait a minute, don’t we know of numerous very successful relationships where the woman is older? I know of these soul mates currently in a very passionate romance that will no doubt end up in marriage that have an age difference of almost 20 years—the man is older.

The truth is that love happens in the most unexpected way and cupid’s arrow does not carefully consider age before flying out into the night.

If this is true then the tragedy of it all is that there are too many lonely people out there who missed to connect with their soul mates because the age issue stood in the way and blinded them from seeing what was meant to be.

Of course the biggest stumbling block here is fear of what people will say. If your girlfriend is much younger than you are then the conclusion will be that she is a gold digger who is after your cash. If a man gets involved with an older woman then everybody will say that he’s after her cash even if she doesn’t have much of it.

However we all know that people have been talking since the beginning of time and they will continue to talk until the sun goes down for the last time. So the question one probably needs to ask themselves is whether they are prepared to let what people say stand between them and happiness. It is really as simple as that.

Older women bring many advantages into a relationship. They are usually more understanding and forgiving. Many men find them more skilled in bed as their experience usually kicks in.

Older men also bring the same plus points into a younger woman’s life. They also generally tend to be much more sensitive than younger men.

Dagoretti father who fell in love with his daughter

Where did you guys meet?

The world is full of lonely people desperately seeking romance. Don’t even talk about finding soul mates because many have completely given up and don’t believe that soul mates exist.

This is why the topic of where soul mates met is a fascinating one for most of us.

At the office

Interestingly the most common place where those in love have met is the workplace. Working so closely together, numerous office romances have blossomed. Sadly, many times this has happened despite the fact that one of the partners is already married (or otherwise engaged elsewhere). Many times both may be married to other people. Despite this complication, office romances continue to blossom.

At a Wedding

There is little doubt that most single people are thinking “marriage” when they attend weddings. Just the right frame of mind to spot your spouse of the future.

In the Matatu

In a recent very colorful wedding in Eldoret shortly before the post-election violence broke out, the two love birds met in a matatu in Mombasa. Strangely enough it was the woman who asked for the shy man’s cell phone number.

On the web

The World Wide Web has already shot up to number one in terms of the sheer volumes of relationships and marriages that it is responsible for initiating and developing. Tools like Facebook, dating sites, emails and IMs (Instant messaging) have brought (and continue to bring) happiness and marital bliss to hundreds of thousands all over the world.

My sister’s/brother’s best friend

I know of this man who fell in love with his kid sister’s best friend. Needless to say the two girls are no longer on talking terms. They haven’t spoken to each other for over 10 years now. But the marriage is still going strong 20 years later.

In the toilet

If there is any common thread that has clearly come out of my research into this topic, then it is the fact that romance usually happens at the most unexpected places when you least expect it. This guy was really pressed last July (cold weather puts pressure on the bladder for obvious reasons). All the men’s toilets at this building in the city centre where he was at the time, were locked. He desperately tried the doors to the lady’s and it swung open. On his way inside he bumped into this cute young lady who was outraged even as the man rushed past her. She waited for him to finish with the intention of giving him a piece of her mind about his appalling behaviour. Which she did, but ended up falling on love with him. The two have great difficulties when you ask them the simple question; by the way where did you guys meet?

A Night spot

Yes, it still happens at night spots and public social places. Although I am told that Tanzanian men will never marry a woman they met at some drinking place. But I can assure you that this one still works for Kenyans.

In bed

Some couples I know met in bed after sex. Lust leads them there and they end up finding true love after quenching their fires. This method is NOT recommended because it is highly risky, not everybody takes kindly to being asked after sex, “by the way what did you say your name was?”

Famous Kenyan beds mother and her daughter

Business Success: Wild Animals Can Help

Watching wild animals in Africa hunting for food, is an extremely educative experience for marketers and those who want to dramatically increase their sales. The big cats are especially fascinating in their different hunting methods.

The lion usually has lots of difficulties hunting. This cat is built very big, strong and heavy. The result is that it is no match for the speed and agility of the antelope, its’ favourite meal. So the lion relies on stealth, surprise and the quick short dash – not unlike that of a well-built 100 metres sprinter. The lion’s advantage is in its’ strength which enables it to kill fairly large prey that would give smaller cats like the cheetah a lot of problems.

The cheetah has a totally different hunting method. This cat is light, agile and built for high speeds. No problems catching that small antelope in the herd scampering for safety. But unlike the lion, the cheetah cannot go for bigger prey (more meat) like the zebra or even larger antelopes.

You now fully understand why the lion cannot wake up one morning and decide that since it admires the cheetah’s sheer speed, it wants to hunt like a cheetah - or vice versa.

That should be obvious, should it not be?

Then why is it that businesses make this mistake every day?

The type of selling system (it’s actually a hunting system you know) you choose will depend a lot on what you are. Are you an agile, small young business with no bureaucracy or long-decision making process, not unlike the cheetah? Or are you that larger recently-prosperous-business struggling to maintain enough sales growth to sustain your cash-guzzling overheads, not unlike the lion?

This lesson came down hard on me a few years ago when I created a selling system that surpassed all expectations and grew a small magazine from a circulation of less than 500 copies to 120,000 copies weekly, in a few short months. The simple system employed the use of teaser flyers.

The mistake I made was that whilst basking in the glory of sweet, sensational success, I did not realize that the business had dramatically changed in size and therefore urgently required a NEW drastically different selling system. It was a classic case of the cheetah that grew into a lion but still wanted to hunt like a cheetah.

What system is best suited for your business right now is a critical question you will have to ask and answer if you hope to implement a successful selling system that will make a difference in your business.

Even before you get into something as detailed as a selling system, just looking at popular traditional marketing methods proves that one has to know what is appropriate for them. I have seen many small businesses reap mediocre results from an expensive television advertisement run during prime time. Where the same slot for a larger business would probably have broken the bank.

This is a lesson that’s easy to forget. The remedy? Every time it looks like you are forgetting, just find a way to watch the different wild cats of Africa hunting.

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Deadly Mother-in-laws Part 3 of 3

How To Deal With A Nasty Mother-in-Law

Does just the word, mother-in-law, spell terror in your life? This woman has assumed mythic proportions wielding criticism, guilt and coldness. When she visits, you feel like the police commissioner has marched into your home. When she interacts with the children, she is evaluating their manners, academic performance and everything – tracing it all back to you!

However, in reality you can dramatically improve the situation simply by understanding one simple thing. You and your mother-in-law are just two women in love with the same man.

When you understand this, all the conflicts and criticisms start to make sense.

Here are some useful advice that has helped other women faced with hostile mothers-in-law;

1. Let your mother-in-law know that she occupies the primary spot in her son’s heart and always will - after all she is his mother.

2. Stop licking your wounds and spring into action. Change the habitual responses and stick to neutral territory. Here are some suggestions to befriend your mother-in-law thereby making your husband and children happier:

* Have a sense of humor - See your life as a sit-com. Look at it from a distance.You laugh at the TV comedy, Everyone Loves Raymond, particularly Marie and Debra’s relationship; try to see the humor in your own relationship with your mother-in-law. Humor goes a long way to defuse hostility.

* Break the pattern of criticism - When your mother-in-law criticizes you, listen calmly for a few minutes then distract her by changing the topic, pulling out some photos of the children, new make-up or a magazine about a subject she’s interested in like gardening, golf or shopping. Get her into grandma mode by having your children sing, perform or show an award they received.

* Reinterpret negatives into positives - Anything can be reinterpreted! Be creative and release the anger. Practice it so often that it becomes a reflex action. For example, if your mother-in-law doesn’t even refer to you by your name, if you don’t even merit a “hey, you,” then reinterpret to, “She’s being sensitive to my needs. It is awkward for her as I am not her daughter. So rather than confront me or offend me, she avoids calling me anything.”

* Affirm your mother-in-law. Compliment the qualities you want to reinforce. Wouldn’t you do this with your child or pet? You don’t want to comment on bad behavior and create the self-fulfilling prophecy.

* Schedule one-on-one time around her interests to do something fun together: a day at the spa, lunch and shopping, visit the new exhibit. Get to know her on a personal level and bond. Ask about her dreams, her career and her past. Knowledge is power!

* Be patient and lower your expectations. Don’t envision an immediate transformation or a Kodak moment of love. You can expect mutual respect and loyalty. One step at a time. It took my mother-in-law twenty years to love me, but she finally came around. Where there is life, there is hope.

3. Get spouse support. Does your husband or wife support you? Don't criticize the mother-in-law, just calmly state "It hurt my feelings when your mother implied that I made you move here/made you change jobs/made you buy a new car. Be aware that there is a belief that mothers-in-law often assume that daughters-in-law are terrible manipulators who wickedly control their son's lives. Don't make judgemental comments as she does, but let your husband know that it hurts. Most men do not want their wives to be hurt, and you are entitled to share this with your husband (your best friend). Do not criticize her, but don't protect her either.

4. Distance yourself physically. You don't need to move, but you also don't need to show up at every event. Just be busy doing something else. Always make it easy for your husband to go without you (after all, this is his mother). Often the son still goes to some things, but drops some things as well, because he wants to be with his family. Do not discourage your spouse from attending family functions! But it is important that you protect yourself and stay away when you choose, and you should be aware that sometimes he will choose to stay home, too. Do not feel guilty! You have to protect yourself.

5. Remember that it's highly unlikely that she'll change. If your mother-in-law has criticized you, stabbed you in the back to other family members, and has been dismissive of things you've said, she is making a very clear statement about this "relationship". Believe her. She may be occasionally nice. Judgemental, negative people often do this; they do something nice to reel you in, and then grab the opportunity to make a jab at you. If she's done this, remember to keep your distance even when she's being nice. You are more important than your relationship to your mother-in-law! Take care of yourself. Let the hopes go. Look to other women for mentoring, advice, kindness, role modeling. You have to write this woman off. It's not going to happen.

6. You are entitled to a peaceful life. You do not owe this woman anything. She's just a person, and if her behavior is ugly, she isn't entitled to any sort of special respect. Mothers-in-law sometimes assume that they're going to be a powerful matriarch. No. Respect and admiration are earned. If she doesn't deserve it, you're certainly entitled to protect yourself, and keep strong boundaries.

7. If she really attacks you, your husband needs to support you. Your spouse can simply phone her and said "I heard you say X to my wife. I don't think that's appropriate. Do not do it again." (Note: it is very important that your husband not leave you alone with her! He needs to be a witness! Otherwise, she'll say that your interpretation of events is incorrect, etc.). But if she does something in front of your spouse, your spouse can say that it bothered him. This is key. And it is your spouse's responsibility to handle his own mother, just as you should deal with your family, and he shouldn't have to. Mothers-in-law sometimes "lay in wait" until no one else is in the room (including their own husbands, whom they want on their side). Do not be alone with her. If you find yourself alone with her, immediately get up and go to the bathroom, take a walk, do whatever you need to in order to NOT be alone with her.

Most important learn to live with the things in life that you cannot change, a nasty mother-in-law being one of them.

How beautiful girls date but remain virgins for their wedding night

How A Solar Energy Company Came Up With An Ingenious Selling System

In the last two days we have been talking about marketing or selling systems and today I want to wrap up this important topic by giving a few more practical examples that will prove that getting a selling system for your small business will undoubtedly revolutionize things.

I was amazed when I was told how the most successful solar and alternative energy company in Kenya got its’ start. Its’ founder actually created an amazing selling system. Installing solar panels requires a very high initial cash outlay meaning that not everybody can afford it. So naturally the first thing this business owner did was to establish if his prospect had the financial resources to pay. Once he had confirmed this he approached the house owner and offered to install solar panels, lights and everything into the house. The home owner would then be allowed to enjoy it for a few days. The deal was simple. When the solar man came back, the owner had a choice of paying for it or if he was not interested then the solar company would simply uninstall all their stuff and he would owe them nothing. Not surprisingly 9 out of 10 homes in which they installed their solar panels ended up paying. This is a powerful marketing system that works wonders.

In the days when I was a conventional print publisher, I managed to launch a very successful weekly print magazine. I started off using a conventional selling system through news vendors which still worked until one day. The main vendor whom I used to sell most of the copies and also distributed to others for some reason was unable to pay me for what he had sold. Our usual arrangement was that when I took him the new issue, he would pay me for sales of the previous one and I would then give him the new one. I found myself stuck with a very large number of magazines and nowhere to sell them. It took me about 3 weeks of trial and error to come up with an amazing new selling system that multiplied my circulation many times over. I created a small miniature edition that summarized the content of the main magazine. I would then get my own sellers who would distribute the miniature edition for free. As a result of this selling system my circulation climbed steeply to a point where I was easily selling thousands of copies.

Sit down and ask yourself what your customers and prospects really want and then find a selling system and your business will never be the same again.

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Deadly Mother-in-laws Part 2 of 3

Yesterday we read the horrifying real life tale of what a mother-in-law did to completely and ruthlessly destroy her son’s marriage. There are many other horror stories that happen all the time in many homes across Kenya.

So what can a woman really do when the mother of the man she loves does not like her?

It is important to understand that chances of you and your mother-in-law being friends are really slim. So don’t push it. Just like your man can never really be great friends to your mother. There are exceptions to the rule of course (personally I know a few). But the reality here is that his mother instinctively feels that you are taking away her son from her, how can she like you? This is important to grasp because many women go through life miserable believing that their husband’s mother doesn’t like them because there is something wrong with them.

Actually the severity of your problems will heavily depend on just how close your man is to his mother. The closer they are, the more serious a problem you will have in your hands.

The truth is that many folks do not realize that mothers-in-law are notorious for breaking up marriages and relationships on very flimsy grounds. These “excuses” for causing their sons to part with their women range from; “she is not clean” to “she doesn’t know how to cook, my son will starve” to “she is a mchawi.” Interestingly the last accusation is common where the woman is so deeply in love with her man which may cause him to change in many ways. So the poor woman gets accused of witchcraft when the only “madawa” she has given to the man is love. Incidentally many people including this writer believe that passionate love is a form of “uchawi” which causes people to do very strange things. However it is not the negative “uchawi” that many mothers-in-law have in mind against their poor daughters-in-law.

But the women who suffer most in the hands of these “monsters-in-law” are the ones who for some reason are unable to conceive and give birth.

You will hear cruel comments like; “What is that woman still doing in his house.” Notice that she ceases to be his wife and becomes “that woman.”

It actually helps a great deal when there is a father-in-law in the picture. Indeed it has been proven that the most notorious mothers-in-law are single parents who have always been way to close to their sons. Somehow the presence of a man in the home tends to make a huge difference and it becomes a lot more difficult for the mothers-in-law to get involved in excesses.

In the final part of this series tomorrow we examine tips on how to deal with your mother-in-law. Don’t miss it.

Men who pick up decent women on the streets

The Most Important Money-Making Secret

You are about to discover the most important secret for making money not only online but anywhere. Without this gem you will struggle for the rest of your life and no matter what business you start or program you join for making money online success will remain elusive.

However if you grasp and embrace this little secret, then it will hardly matter what Internet money making program you are involved in because everything you touch will literally turn into pure gold.

Let me also warn you like most secrets you really need to "see" it. Dozens of you will read right through it and mutter "oh yeah, yeah," under their breadth but the truth will be that they have not grasped it. In other words although they have read about it, they have failed to "see it."

The secret is simply this. All you need is a system.

There is a system for everything under the sun. For the presidential elections, there is a detailed electoral system. And no company large or small would dream of opening their doors for business before they have set up an accounting system. Factories have a production system and so on. A system makes it possible to organize work and get it done. A system is a laid down proven way of doing things to get a task done.

Now the big mystery is why most businesses do not bother with a marketing system. Yet marketing is more important than production and even accounting because if there are no sales all other departments and beautifully designed systems will be idle.

That's the most important make money online and make-money-anywhere secret. All you require is a proven system that works and making the money online will be a breeze. Let me admit that designing a system that generates hot sales leads regularly and then turns as many of them as possible into paying customers and clients is not a joke. It is very hard work. That is why I recommend that you either copy somebody else's workable system or join a program that has a marvelous ready-to-use marketing and selling system. When you do this, success will be guaranteed. I assure you, there is no way you can fail.

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Mother-in-law or monster-in-law?

The following true story illustrates just how damaging mothers in law can be when for some reason they do not like their son’s wives or girlfriends.

Ndungu and Shiro had started their affair when Ndungu was still at the Nairobi University. It did not matter that Shiro came from a very poor family because Ndungu too had been brought up in a lot of hardships. The central character in his life was his mother who had done all sorts of things to keep him in school. She dug people’s shambas and even did what was considered to be men’s jobs to earn cash to pay for his fees. It was even rumoured that in one desperate moment she had sold her own body to get some urgently required cash for her beloved only son to do an important exam whose deadline was dangerously close.

Her efforts bore fruit when Ndungu graduated from the University with a degree in a highly sort after professional field and the money started pouring in almost immediately he left campus.

When Mama Ndungu first met Shiro she had not even been aware of the fact that there was a woman “out to eat his money,” as she put it. She of course did not want to hear that Shiro had played her part in supporting Ndungu through university (she had even given him money many times).

Shiro decided that there was nothing she could do about the mother of the man she loved who openly hated her so much that they never even greeted each other whenever they would meet. What she did not know was that the crafty old woman had launched a war which she knew she would easily win.

If you are reading this, just remember this one simple fact; you cannot compete with your guy’s mother. You met the guy when he had grown all his teeth and the woman you are up against changed his nappies. So who do you think knows him better?

One day Ndungu unexpectedly brought a house help from upcountry and Shiro was delighted because she really did need some help in the house with her two small daughters. Little did she know that the first part of an evil plan by her mother in law was in place.

Shiro in fact liked the house-help. She was polite and obedient and did not do anything to raise her suspicion. But Shiro made one other deadly error. Whenever her husband came home late from his evening drink, she would not get out of bed to serve him and would instead allow the house help to warm the food and serve him. This information of course trickled back to Ndungu’s mother through her able spy, the humble house help.

So one day the husband came home and shortly after the house help warmed and served him the food, she started crying. Women’s tears usually alarm men and Ndungu panicked, just as his mother knew he would. He carefully enquired from her in their mother tongue what the problem was. The house help told him that mama watoto (Shiro) had poisoned the food and she had been forced to serve it and yet she knew it contained poison that would kill him.

Ndungu could not believe his ears but fetched his wife from bed. She was angry at being woken up and still groggy from sleep. Ndungu told her what he had been told and then tried to force her to eat the food he had been served with.

What happened next has been debated on for years. Most people say that there was some witchcraft used to confuse Shiro because she refused to eat the food to prove that there was no poison in it. Later Shiro told her friends that she was not sure exactly why she refused but she knows she was very angry, angrier than she had ever been in her life, that her husband would believe what he had been told by the maid and suspect her. And after everything they had been through together. It was also known that Shiro had a very nasty temper. So that is probably what caused her to make the crucial mistake of refusing to eat the food. This to the husband was ample evidence that the food was indeed poisoned.

It is further rumoured that the tasty food Chicken and rice was eaten by the house help that very night because the next day when elders wanted the food to take for testing to verify whether it had poison or not it had vanished. It was not in the dustbin which the stammering maid claimed she threw it in. And the only person who had been left in the house was the houshelp because Ndungu got Shiro into the car with her night dress there and then and all her belongings thrown into the car boot and he then drove her all the way to her parents home in Muranga. They started the journey from Nairobi at about 2 am in the morning.

To cut a long sad story short. That was the end of the marriage between Ndungu and Shiro. Shortly after they separated Ndungu’s mother moved into the house and this is where she lives to date apart from an occasional trip upcountry that she makes. Ndungu has since remarried an old Mzungu woman and has kicjed out his daughters who now live a hard life they never knew.

I leave you to digest this real life experience until tomorrow when we will discuss this topic of mothers-in-law and how they mess up relationships and marriages tomorrow.

Horrors of what husbands do with their wives

A simple system that turned a bankrupt magazine into a cash machine in weeks

The two principal shareholders of the magazine stared back at me in disbelief as I calmly explained the simple rescue plan we would use to save the ailing monthly business magazine. Exhaustion and desperation were written all over their faces and in a way I felt pity for them.

The pair had already lost a small fortune in just one year of operation. The only reason why they had not shut down the damned thing was that they were hoping for some miracle that would recover at least half their life savings.

But then theirs is the story of hundreds of thousands of would-be-entrepreneurs the world over who continue to launch thousands of new magazines every year without the very special skills that are required to run this complex and yet extremely potential business.

All they had left at this bankrupt magazine now was a small demoralized sales team ready to quit the moment they found jobs elsewhere. No reporters, no writers, no budget to get good writers on board.

I quickly called a meeting and tried to inspire the shabby remnant, assuring them that the magazine was now in good hands and that things would improve. Luckily they did not sense the cold fear creeping up my spine nor did they seem to realize that I had already broken into a cold sweat. In business there are no guarantees - you win some and you lose others. What right did I have to make all these promises? What if I failed in this assignment?

I proceeded to swiftly train the handful of sales people and changed them from advertising sales persons into "reporters". They were to go out and gather information.

Gather information!? When you need revenue so badly?

Hold your horses and read on.

We developed a simple system consisting of the following steps,

1) "Reporter" calls up a potential client and books an appointment for an interview.

2) I accompany them to the interview and I do both a thorough and professional job of it.

3) After the interview, we make an editorial decision whether the material merited a feature article in the magazine or not. And if it did whether the story will end up being positive or negative. (Any publisher will tell you that bad news sells much better than good news.)

If it merited a positive story, we would go ahead and write the story and then later approach the same client to book an advertisement so as to get a double maximum impact in the same issue. Alternatively they would have their advertisement appear in a future issue.

4) If the story was negative we could not approach the source to place an ad in the magazine. We would instead go ahead and write our big story with a little additional research from other sources. The reporter would then approach a competitor to the business in question (who was not in the same mess) for an advertisement.

5) Other times an interview supplied us with a tip to pursue another company or organization for a lead story, which we would also do.

Using this simple system that maximized on the meager resources that were available, we literally killed two birds with one stone. The sales team were able to get very good quality leads for advertising sales and turned most of them into much needed solid sales. The big secret here is that they were able to use the writer's interview session to build rapport with the client/news source.

Secondly, in the process we were able to do quality research work for all the stories we carried in the magazine which improved our readership and the confidence of advertisers as well on the quality of the monthly business publication.

This was of course combined with some careful house-keeping where we kept a very careful eye on costs by designing a system that would monitor costs on a daily basis. Within 8 weeks the magazine was making a profit and in one year, if you came calling, you would not believe it was the same previously dying magazine.

It was all made simpler by the fact that we were dealing with a business magazine, because this type of magazine is in the unique situation where the newsmakers can also be the main advertisers.

Magazines can be very profitable. They can also be huge cash drains. It all depends on you doing the following;
Creating workable systems for generating revenue through selling advertising and other systems for generating revenue from subscription and single copy sales. The systems you create must be so simple that the staff training required will be minimal.

It's as simple as that. And that's exactly how I turned around an ailing business magazine.

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Join a unique online business with a proven success system already in place that gurantees you an income. Limited numbers being accepted. Write NOW for details

Why sex hampers relationships

Sidney Sheldon’s classic Stranger in the mirror has a fascinating tale of how a woman landed a husband.

The woman was very desirable but also very generous with her favors to any man who was vaguely interested (if you know what I mean). So she decides for some reason that she wants to get married to this particular guy. Now the guy is a famous entertainer and women usually just can’t wait to jump into bed with him. So he expects the same from this woman. He is in for a shock and despite trying every trick in the book, he just can’t have her. All this time his feelings and desire for her are growing in leaps and bounds. Of course he ends up marrying her.

The point here is that the longer sex is delayed in a relationship, the greater that relationship ends up being. Clearly sex is a great hindrance to the development of a relationship. It tends to turn everything into a physical messy, sweaty thing where love flies out of the window much faster than you can say; “I am coming.”

You need to start by understanding that for most men, landing a woman in bed is a game. And the game is usually over for all intents and purposes when they have poured themselves into you or the condom they are wearing. Everything that happens after that is just for show to postpone the inevitable just a little longer. The feelings that set are usually of dis-respect and they say to themselves something like; was that what she was playing so hard for me to get? Is that all? Hakuna kitu hapo.

Terrible thing for a human being to think and feel over another one of the same species, but sadly it happens all the time.

For a woman, sex usually makes them develop very passionate feelings for the man. More so if the sex was great. In most cases while the man wants to bolt ASAP, the woman will be thinking to herself how it can be forever.

But if on the other hand a relationship grows without sex, the couple has a great chance to really get to know each other and 6 months down the line, or even more, without sex or even as much as a kiss will usually mean that this is something serious that definitely has long-term prospects.

And this talk you hear all the time these days about people swearing that they are soul mates after knowing each other for just a few weeks and followed by some great sex before the first month is up is just silly and folks cheating themselves.

Previous relationship stories

How to ask for sex in marriage

Will those stretch marks cause romance to fly out of the window?

How to say, "I love you" without causing panic

Do Kenyan men like women who watch porn?

How do super-earners make $100,000 online?

Many Kenyans don’t know it but the truth is that there are people out there who comfortably make $100,000 a month online consistently month after month. Most of them are involved with what are called affiliate programs.

What are affiliate programs?

An affiliate is really a commission agent. All they do is direct traffic to a certain website and they then get a commission from the sales that are generated from the traffic that they have referred to the site. The advantages of this kind of arrangement over launching one’s own site or business are obvious. As an affiliate entrepreneur, you do not get involved in production, shipping and all the other many hassles involved in running a successful online business. All you is concentrate on sending traffic to the website and then they take care of everything else and pay you your commission for your trouble.

The affiliate system was invented by Jeff Bezos, the founder of the multi-billion shilling site Amazon.com.

So how does one manage to be a super affiliate earning a monthly six-figure income?

The truth is that it is not easy, although more and more people are doing it these days. Especially youngsters who are barely legal but understand the World Wide Web and how it works.

For starters you will need to be fairly good at generating targeted traffic online. Actually you need to be an expert at things like search engine optimization as this is the only way that you will manage to drive large amounts of traffic to your affiliate web site and thus be able to earn those fantastic incomes that people are earning.

One huge advantage that you already have is the fact that the World Wide Web is a wonderful educational tool and if you put your mind to it you can learn to be anything.

Get more information NOW about how you too can make money online Or email strongwallafrica@yahoo.com for details.