Want to make money back home in Kenya?

One of the most daunting challenges for many prospective small business entrepreneurs these days is how to run a business from a distance.

Kenyans in the Diaspora trying to invest back home are keenly aware of what I am talking about here. Indeed even those who are employees somewhere and are desperately trying to start a small business on the side will immediately identify with what I am talking about here.

What frustrates many first time entrepreneurs is the fact that they do not seem to be able to replicate what happens at their work place where the business owners never set foot on the premises and yet the business runs and yields good profits year after year.

This is a big mistake. It is ridiculous to compare a start up you are trying to get off the ground to the established business you work for that has time-honored systems that have been in place for years.

Interestingly some successful small business entrepreneurs who still work elsewhere have launched their businesses by taking leave and for a whole month, setting up structures and getting the business off the ground, so that by the time they leave to go back to work, everything is working like clockwork. Admittedly this happens very rarely because anybody with a little experience in running a business will tell you that it takes months and sometimes years before a small business can finally get off its’ feet.

Something really useful to remember when launching your small business is that you should carefully choose what type of business you want to get involved with as a distant investor. This is because if you are not careful you can easily be robbed blind or lose your entire investment.

This is one of the reasons why real estate has been so attractive to most Kenyans in the Diaspora investing back home. All that is needed is to find a close relative to supervise the construction after you have gotten good estimates from professionals. When the rental houses are done rent is then collected and it is virtually impossible for anybody to rob you. To make things even easier, one can simply purchase an apartment or two that has already been constructed in one of the up-market locations in Nairobi. These kind of apartments for sale have been popping up like pop corn all over the place. This explains the current property glut in Nairobi where rentals (especially in high income areas) have dramatically fallen. There are just too many of those houses that have come up in recent years.

This has made such an investment increasingly unattractive for anybody looking for good returns on their investment. The result is that many Kenyans have chosen to avoid this business altogether. What they need to consider is that Kenya has many other very viable places for property investment where anybody who is a little patient can make a killing.

There is Mombasa, Kenya’s second largest city. This writer has been informed of a very interesting development in this costal city. There is massive investment pouring into Mombasa and this has caused a serious shortage of housing. Considering that land in many parts of Mombasa is still so cheap, this is definitely a place worth careful consideration.

Many small towns surrounding Nairobi are yet another viable location to look at. It is pretty obvious that the city is rapidly expanding outwards and infrastructure will soon be in place to make it feasible for people working in the city to live in places as far away as Machakos for example. Anybody purchasing land now and putting up good housing will not have very long to wait.

(To be continued: Tomorrow we look at brilliant small business ideas for distant investors to consider)

Young couple’s business fails to recover after post election violence

For many Kenyan entrepreneurs, life has never been the same again since the ill-fated presidential elections of last year. Indeed the grand coalition government’s former finance minister Amos Kimunya kept on talking about the country being on the right track to recovery without acknowledging the fact that there are many businesses in many small businesses in parts of the country that will probably never recover.

Today Wangari a young ambitious business woman from Naivasha tells her story to Kumekucha;

“I am a young, ambitious and focused lady. I am 25yrs old and married.

By the way my roots are in Othaya, Central province but I dislike the man who I used to admire so much i.e Kibaki. I was always proud to say I hail from Othaya but as of now I never want to be associated with this man.

Anyway back to my story. I grew up in Nairobi and was just about to go to university in 2003 but my parents couldn't afford it and so I got a job to keep me busy. My boyfriend then (now my hubby) decided to move to Naivasha to look for greener pastures. He set up the business that we now have and things started looking up, I followed him shortly afterwards and decided to settle here.

I fee very sad today because just last year I even had hopes and plans that by the end of this year (2008) we'd be in our own home. But now that seems to be an impossible dream well beyond our reach.

We deal in mobile phones and airtime sales and as you know it was the craze and still is for people to get the latest stylish cell phone. From 2004 until the end of 2007, we have seen steady growth in our business and we had several outlets within rift valley which were doing very well until Dec 2007.

After the disputed elections followed by the violence, we have been forced to close down most of our outlets and even the remaining ones are not doing well. The cost of living for most Kenyans has skyrocketed so much that it has badly affected our type of business. People are struggling to survive with the high inflation and low incomes, they really don’t have anything to spare to get luxury goods like cell phones. From a business where daily sales of Kshs 100,000 were the norm we now record even as low as 10,000 on a good day.

I had hoped that this government would be more sensitive and be more conscience about the local mwananchi but clearly, all they think about is themselves, their selfish ambitions and their pockets. Considering that we had made a milestone between 2003 and 2007 despite all the politicking, I had assumed that as from 2008 things would be even better and the sky would be the limit. My plans to secure a home and go back to school have now been put on hold. It’s like starting from scratch again.

But even with the grand coalition government in place I don’t see Kenya going far, all they are doing is back stabbing each other. Sorry to say this but I think we need to go back to the polls to elect people willing to work for the country and not for their pockets.

Even my own MP for Naivasha is not doing anything for us. He is of no help to the people who elected him. All he is busy with is fighting Jane Kihara in court. Even the CDF office has been closed and supposedly re-located elsewhere.

That's my story and my take on how things are looking, I hope one day I will be able to influence people by my actions and I will be a role model to others.

I admire Wangari Maathai for taking a stand (please do a story on her, the good and the bad).

That's my story, please don’t use my real name and anytime you need a contributor, I'll be more than happy to pitch in. I am tired of being the problem, its time I became part of the solution.

Small business Kenya Special resumes on Monday. Don’t miss it.

Do Kenyan men like women who watch porn?

Love and Relationship Headaches

It all happened quite by accident and she suddenly found herself in a very difficult situation in a relationship she highly valued and wanted very much to work out. After all she was not getting any younger.

Her boyfriend had come over and she had left him playing around with her laptop as she took a quick bath. The minute she came out of the bathroom she knew that there was something amiss. It was the way he looked at her. Was that a look of disgust on his face?

“You mean you watch porn?” he had asked accusingly? Somehow the guy had found a few clips she thought she had hidden well in some folders in her computer.

So what do most Kenyan men really think of women who watch porn? I interviewed a number of them and to be honest was shocked at what I found out.

Many single Kenyan women these days regularly watch porn. They may not readily admit it to their guy but it is widely available on the World Wide Web. And people just watch it sometimes. Many are attracted to it by curiosity, others for a myriad of other reasons that will be the subject of another article here at a later date.

Interestingly my research tells me that most of them are forced to tell a fib if the man in their life asks them the question directly; do you watch porn on the web? In many ways this is very disturbing and stressful to many women because the truth is that generally they feel very guilty when they have to tell their boyfriends lies about personal stuff. At least most of them do. But then who wants to end their relationship on such a note. Imagine confessing to your girlfriends one day the real reason why you and him drifted apart; it was because I like watch porn occasionally. Yikes!!!

The truth is that most Kenyan men surveyed are uncomfortable about their future wife watching porn. And the most ridiculous thing of all is that most of these men who feel this way, watch plenty of porn themselves. How hypocritical!!

Jonas a man in his early 30s says: “It really depends. If she’s my girlfriend I will not be comfortable at all knowing that she delights in watching porn. However if she’s my wife, no problem because we will be watching it together.”

Surprises never cease when one is seriously looking into human nature because when I started this research project I was sure that a majority of men really don’t mind their girl being a porn addict let alone an occasional viewer.

It turns out that most Kenyan men despite the image they may try to portray sometimes are very conservative. One single guy studying in an American university told this writer that he was thinking of dumping his girlfriend whom everybody though he would marry, simply because she was a Catholic. The man’s parents are Pentecostals, although he hardly goes to church himself. I was shocked. You can never assume anything about these Kenyan men, can you?

Only a mere 5 percent of the men I asked this question genuinely did not mind if their women were porn addicts. One man told me bluntly that “chics are human beings, NOT robots.”

I am hoping that we can carry this survey a little further here in this blog. Do tell us what you think about this crazy topic.

Incidentally people also need to know that porn can be highly addictive and if one is not in a relationship can have negative long term effects that may even affect and hinder a woman from having a healthy relationship. Just as it often does the same to many Kenyan men who are porn addicts.

What is Moi's most guarded secret?

How to ask for sex in marriage

Excuses men use to dump their girlfriends

Will those stretch marks cause him to stop loving you?

How to say "I love you" to a man and not cause him to bolt

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The Cry Fizzles

“I’d rather die than resign,”
The man snorted sarcastically;
His shifty eyes roving hither and thither,
His heart racing, lips dry…

In the bottle,
The “resign now” pressure,
Squirmed, squeaked, and…
Pop! Went the cork.

Oh, the cloud, the dust,
The gas, the venom,
The bottle’s mighty wave,
The bank broke (the dam burst!)

In the avalanche ,
Amos “I’ll not resign”,
Swallowed, sucked in he was,
Gulp, gulp… shy of a drown.

His heart yelled “Help!”
His mouth co-operated not,
“I resign,” are the words we heard;
The bubble had broken.

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So you think alone, you can’t do anything to change the politics in Kenya?

So you think alone, you can’t do anything to change the politics in Kenya?

Many Kenyans ask themselves the question; What can one miserable person like me do to change things? And then they just sit back and do nothing but complain and despair.

Fortunately many folks including Nelson Mandela faced with far greater odds, did not think like you may be thinking just now. They did the little they thought they could do and the world is a better place because of that simple decision.

Kenyan politics stinks at the moment but you can start doing something towards changing things. And you can start right now (and it won’t even cost you a single Kenyan shilling).

Here’s what you can do. Knowledge and information is very powerful and the sad thing is that many Kenyans are NOT as informed as you are. The more informed Kenyans get, the quicker we will change things. Why not help get others informed by pasting the simple email signature below into your email as your email signature so that the usual emails you send out will help publicize and inform Kenyans about what is really going on?

Do the little you can just now. Who knows, even if you don’t end up being the next Nelson Mandela, you could come close.

DO IT NOW, it will only take a minute… or less.

Please choose just ONE email signature to use in your emails;

Have you read what other Kenyans are saying about today’s news?

To view the most guarded political secrets behind Kenyan news today, click HERE.

Kenyan News that the media fears to report EXPOSED HERE

Ode to the Charade: Zimbabwe

A sham, bloody deception,
The bounding, white army chanted.

Undemocratic, unparalleled injustice,
The tardy (nay, tacky), black army chorused.

Unrivalled travesty, perfect ambiguity,
The International Community whimpered.

But the black man stood, ‘unstung’, unmoved,
The virulent words falling on ‘barren’ ears.

“Keep your noises to yourselves,”
He advised the white and black alike.

The bandying of coloured words ensued,
All parties pulling the frayed reins.

Just before the snap of the frayed joints,
The black man cleared his throat:

“If you deem yourselves clean enough,
Be the first one to throw the stone!”

The white and black armies exchanged glances,
And voluntarily retreated to their hovels.

The Quiet Rise And Rise Of Amos Kimunya That Kenyans Still Ignore

“Blind-side winger” gunning for the presidency?

I love the game of soccer, but I think I love rugby more.

Amos Muhinga Kimunya the current Finance Minister and a Kibaki insider, was once a student at the Nairobi University and he no doubt used to watch the wildly popular varsity rugby team, Mean Machine in action. One of the most devastating tactics in the game of rugby (which Mean Machine has occasionally employed for years) is the use of a blind side winger. The game generally flows in the opposite direction to where the blind side winger is positioned (well-hidden) somewhere behind the crowded scrum. It is only at the very last split second when the direction is switched and usually a long pass is hurled in the opposite direction and by the time the opposition team get to see the winger coming in at a terribly high speed on the blind side, it is too late for them to do much and he easily scores.

Finance minister Amos Kimunya reminds me of some of the great blind side wingers I had the pleasure of both watching in action and playing with. On the political front this guy nobody had heard of as late as 2002 is coming in on the blind side at a terribly high speed and the crazy thing is that nobody has seen him yet.

This is more than a little surprising because at the height of the political crisis over the disputed presidential elections, early this year, Amos Kimunya's name popped up a little too frequently in intelligence reports circulating amongst Western powers who were critically weighing their dwindling options as the country threatened to degenerate into another Somalia. At the time I must admit that I was fairly puzzled and wondered why there was no mention of stronger and more prominent PNU faces that would be possible successors to Kibaki like George Saitoti or Uhuru Kenyatta. I have since wizened up.

But let us tell this tale chronologically for better clarity.

When the still unresolved Anglo-Leasing scum rocked the Kibaki government in 2006 and forced the then unprecedented move where Finance Minister Daudi Mwiraria resigned, very few people would have guessed that he would be replaced by the little known Lands and Settlement Minister, Amos Kimunya. It is no secret that Mwiraria and the president have always been very close and there are those who still say that the entire “brains” behind Mwiraria’s tenure at the Treasury was the president himself. Hardly surprising when you consider that the President is a world renowned economist and a man whom historians consider to have been the most successful Kenyan finance minister, both under founding father President Jomo Kenyatta and then briefly in President Moi’s government. Indeed it is now emerging that Kibaki had some very firm text book ideas in mind about how he was going to handle the economy as he took over as president and so what he required most in the finance portfolio was a person who could take instructions more than anything else.

This explains why Kimunya ended up in pole position to take over the Finance docket. Between 2002 and 2006 the shrewd Kimunya had wormed his way into the president’s side and amerged as one of his most trusted errand boys. Those close to the president say that he hates nothing more than to be second guessed or given alternative suggestions when his mind has already been made up about something and is known for very rude retorts which many insiders dread.

Kimunya is now in the position that the prophet Elisha was in as the cup bearer to Prophet Elijah towards the end of his tenure in the holy Bible. Only that the prophet Elijah, in this case the president, has already been convinced that the mantle will be in the best hands handed over to one Amos Kimunya.

Any careful observer of recent political events in the country will quickly realize that Kimunya, the blind-side winger in the Kibaki succession has already quietly launched his clever campaign that will see him end up as the PNU candidate for the presidency in 2012. Little wonder that intelligence reports during the political crisis early this year brought up his name as a possible successor to President Kibaki but warned that his political leanings may not be conducive to peace and stability in Kenya.

Incidentally one of Mr Kimunya’s closest advisors and confidants is a lawyer called Gichira Kibara whom I happened to know extremely well. To those who are observant, you will already know that Mr Kibara was one of the PNU lawyers during the negotiated Kofi Anan settlements that ended up in the current grand coalition government. The two have been laying down some very careful plans that have so far met with little resistance. But as I have always said there is such a thing as a plan that is so brilliant that it fails.

The recently read budget was more than anything else a campaign platform for Kimunya. Some analysts called it the first people-friendly budget in over 10 years and it included a countrywide soccer program fully budgeted for and targeted at the country’s multitudes of jobless and idle youths (who are also a powerful bloc of voters) as well as the removal of VAT on various essential goods in the hope that prices would fall for low bracket consumers. One newspaper headline even screamed shortly after the budget that Kimunya was set to create 250,000 jobs. What only one newspaper (The EastAfrican) has boldly put in the headlines is the deepening budget deficit even as Kimunya continues to borrow heavily from our great grand children to finance today’s political games.)

But by far the most telling move by the Finance Minister so far towards his ambitions has to be the highly popular (to the public) move to tax allowances of Members of parliament and holders of other constitutional offices. The finance minister was simply using the budget to play politics and get himself in pole position for the presidency in 2012.

Ask yourself why both PNU and ODM went to great lengths in consensus-building efforts amongst their troops when it came to passing through parliament the crucial Kofi Anan Bills but failed to do the same when it came to crucial budget proposals that the minister is heavily relying on to balance his sums. In fact with such a bloated cabinet as we have in the current grand coalition government getting support for such a move would have been very easy.

The answer is simple. The shrewd Kimunya and his backers knew very well that it is easier for a hungry Tana River Crocodile to ignore the easy prey of an unprotected child fetching water on the banks of the river than it is for the proposals of taxing legislators to be passed by the same legislators. The real intention of the move was with one master stroke to position Amos Kimunya and PNU and it’s partners for the presidency in the rapidly approaching Kibaki succession showdown. Already the public is being made aware of many key figures within PNU (potential opponents to Kimunya as he seeks the PNU ticket for president) who are strongly opposed to MPs allowances being taxed. In fact their laughable reason is that they usually use their high remuneration to develop their constituencies.

I am aware that I have plenty of extremely emotional readers who are fond of analyzing politics in Kenya with their hearts rather than their brains. However if we were to carefully analyze the numbers, then it becomes fairly clear that PNU as a party only needs to ensure that just a few cracks emerge within ODM to win the next polls easily and more importantly to win the presidency. Already they have made their intentions clear when Kiraitu Murungi announced a new “partnership” between Eastern province and Central province for 2012. This is in a backdrop where inroads are already being made by the never-say-die retired President Moi right into the base of ODM support in the Rift Valley. The main vehicle he is using is turning Kanu into a tribal war ship that will consist of mostly of Kalenjins with his own son Gideon Moi taking over as chairman of the party from Uhuru Kenyatta. Any statistician will tell you that a shift of even 30% of the Rift valley, politically is enough to cause a major change in any election outcome. Whether Moi will succeed or not is another issue altogether but my point is it is not prudent to ignore what the ex-president is doing, no matter how many times he has failed in the recent past. Incidentally it is worth noting that the constituency (Kipipiri) that Kimunya represents is NOT in Central but is in fact in Rift Valley province.

My whole point is that recent political developments in the country have clearly proved that PNU is not the spent force so many analysts thought it was. I need not remind you of the party’s showing in the recent by-elections where they outmaneuvered ODM to snatch the strategically treasured Embakasi seat.

Many readers have written to me recently with many kind words about the predictions I have made in the past that have ended up being spot on. I take this opportunity to thank them for their nice emails. And to avoid disappointing them, let me dive again into the murky waters of trying to tell in advance the direction where this magnanimous struggle for power will end. I am a great believer in looking to the past to understand the future. Kenya has changed presidents twice so far and both times the strategy that Mr Kimunya is pursuing has failed miserably despite looking like a sure winner up to the very last minute. That is why after Kenyatta we did NOT see President Njoroge Mungai as the authoritative Time magazine so confidently predicted. And after Moi we did not see President George Saitoti. Will it then be third time lucky with President Amos Kimunya? I highly doubt it.

(Written by Chris with some research input from Oscar)

Kumekucha Exclusive: How Maina Njenga's Wife Died

EXCLUSIVE: Maj Gen Ali’s Link to Execution of Mungiki Leader’s wife

Fresh details emerged today how the wife of jailed Mungiki leader Maina Njenga was brutally murdered and the involvement of a new elite squad directly answerable to police commissioner Mohamed Hussein Ali.

It emerged that Ms Virginia Nyakio’s execution was plotted by an elite squad codenamed The Eagle, which was recently formed by Maj Gen Ali to replace the disbanded Kwekwe Squad. Just like Kwekwe, the Eagle Squad is directly answerable to Maj Gen Ali and it was formed to exclusively hunt down members of the dreaded Mungiki sect.

Police officers who spoke on condition they would not be named for security reasons said Nyakio was seized by members of the Eagle Squad in Nairobi on suspicion she had taken over the leadership of Mungiki on behalf of her husband, who is serving his jail term at the Naivasha Maximum Security Prison after he was convicted for being in possession of an unlawful gun and bhang.

They said the Eagle Squad interrogated the woman on the activities of the outlawed sect and how much money she had in her bank account. The police claim they had received information that Mungiki members were still channelling part of the cash they extorted from public service vehicles and businesses, mostly in Nairobi Central and Rift Valley provinces, to Mr Njenga’s wife.

Afterwards, the officers said, Ms Nyakio was tricked to call her driver, Mr George Njoroge, to meet pick her in a certain location in Nairobi. The officers from the elite unit ordered her not to betray she was under arrest when making the call and they promised to release her if she cooperated.

She believed the officers and obeyed their instructions. The officers then accompanied Ms Nyakio to the meeting place and seized Mr Njoroge. They then proceeded to the bank and ordered Ms Nyakio to withdraw all the cash she had in her account. The account was reportedly holding more than Sh5million. It’s unclear what became of the seized cash since it has triggered bad blood in the squad, with junior officers accusing their head of pocketing all of it.

The officers who spoke to us said Ms Nyakio and Mr Njoroge were later taken to a forest in Kajiado District where the driver was told how the woman had betrayed him. The police tricked him they would release him if he carried out their orders which required him to rape the Mr Njenga’s wife and then slit her throat with a dagger that was provided by the officers. Mr Njoroge was threatened with death if he defied their orders.

As soon as Mr Njoroge had finished executing the police orders, an officer from the squad who was standing behind him gave him a vicious blow at the back of his head using a sledge hammer and his lifeless body slammed to the ground.

The officers then loaded the two bodies in their vehicle and ferried them to Gatundu District where they dumped them at Gakoe forest.

Police later “discovered” the bodies and transferred them to City Mortuary in Nairobi and booked them as unknown. Family members discovered the bodies a day after they were dumped in the morgue.

Even before anybody raised a finger against them, the police quickly informed the media that the two were allegedly abducted while driving in a Toyota Rav4 car along Lang’ata road towards Ongata Rongai.

Family members later accused the police of executing the two. But Police Spokesman Eric Kiraithe said detectives were investigating the killings and denied that police were responsible. He said detectives suspect that the killings could be connected to feuding within the Mungiki sect over leadership after their chairman was sentenced to a five-year jail term.

Police have gone further to allege the execution was ordered by Mr Njenga after he was allegedly informed that Mr Njoroge was having an affair with his wife while he was in jail. They claim the execution was carried out by Mr Njenga’s loyalists.

It emerged today that the love affair theory was coined by Maj Gen Ali’s key advisers, Mr Kiraithe included, to shift the blame and heat from the force. The trick didn’t fool Mungiki followers. Under the Kenya National Youth Alliance, the sect members last week one of the most violent protest in Central, Nairobi and Rift Valley provinces as they barricaded key highways with heavy trucks paralysing road transport for four days. The well-coordinated protest saw business premises remaining closed, vehicles and other property being burnt or damaged and an estimated 15 people dead. The worst affected was Murang’a and surrounding areas where residents remained indoors and businesses remained closed for four days.

It emerged today that the National Security Intelligence Service (NSIS) had gathered intelligence about the protest and passed on the information to Maj Gen Ali. But the police chief dismissed it saying Mungiki was wiped out last year and the remnants were incapable of organizing any protest. He got a rude shock when he was worked up by his aides at 3am when Mungiki struck with vengeance in the dead of the night. That explains why the police were caught napping when Mungiki struck plunging Kenya into grief just a few hours after they had celebrated the naming of the much-awaited Grand Coalition Cabinet by President Kibaki.

The Eagle Squad, headed by Inspector Zebedeo Maina, was formed by Maj Gen Ali to deal with Mungiki after he quietly disbanded its predecessor, the Kwekwe Squad, following local and international outcry that greeted the discovery of bullet-riddled bodies of Mungiki suspects in Ngong forest late last year.

An estimated 5,000 youth who were branded Mungiki followers by the Kwekwe Squad were rounded up from their homes at night in parts of Central, Nairobi and Rift Valley provinces by members of the elite unit and never to be seen alive again.

The seized youths were then shot dead and their bodies dumped in parts of Ngong, Kiserian and Kajiado to be eaten by wild beasts while the rest were loaded into police vehicles and ferried to the crocodile-infested River Tana.

The human rights abuse scandal became a matter of public knowledge when some Maasi herdsmen discovered some of the rotting bodies, which wild beasts were unable to feast on due to plenty of human flesh, at Ngong Forest and alerted human rights organizations and media houses.

Offcicials of the state-owned Kenya National Commission on Human Rights have since documented hundreds of cases of young men who vanished and their bodies have never been found after they were arrested by the Kwekwe Squad officers.

Although a furious Maj Gen Ali called a press conference to deny his officers were involved in any of the extra-judicial killings, he has never made any attempt to have them investigated. The police chief was at pains to explain how the youths went missing yet there was evidence that some of them were even booked in police stations.

After Kwekwe was disbanded, its head, Mr Francis Njiru, who also reported directly to Maj Gen Ali, was rewarded with a promotion of Senior Assistant Commissioner of Police. The rank is held by all provincial CID chiefs.

It emerged yesterday that the Eagle Squad was more ruthless and discreet than the Kwekwe Squad. To avoid the pitfalls of Kwekwe, the Eagle Squad draws it members from Gikuyu-speaking police officers since Mungiki’s followers are predominantly from the Kikuyu community.

The officers disguise themselves as Mungiki followers in order to infiltrate the sect. They use car hire vehicles instead of police cars. Unlike Kwekwe who betrayed themselves by killing the youths using police bullets, the Eagle Squad uses the tactic of executing their victims in the Mungiki-style of beheading and using pangas and other crude weapons to look like the sect members were eliminating each other.

The Eagle Squad does not take or book its victims in police station to avoid leaving any trace. They detain victims lined up for execution in discreet houses they call “Safe Havens” during the period of interrogation.

The tragedy with the Kenyan media is that crime reporters swallowed the lies fed to them by police headquarters regarding Ms Nyakio’s grisly murder and never bothered to dig beneath the surface.

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Political Games Being Played In New Cabinet

Kenyans finally have a cabinet in place. However nobody has popped the champagne yet. In fact what is rapidly emerging amongst most Kenyans all over the world is deep exhaustion when it comes to Kenyan politics these days. Very telling was the fact that the wild celebrations that one would have expected from Kisumu did NOT happen.

Just thinking about the twists and turns in Kenyan politics since last December makes many Kenyans feel very tired. But as our very own mwalimu likes to say; na bado.

One of two things will happen next. Either Ali Baba and his 41 thieves will eat in bliss and you will not hear a sound because when thieves know too much about each other, they fear each other. Or alternatively we are about to be treated to endless squabbling, turf wars and all sorts of clownish activity. Most analysts agree that there is no option “C”

Sigh. Just thinking about it makes even me feel very tired.

There are a few things that have clearly emerged from the coalition cabinet named yesterday. For instance, the dominance of Kenyan politics by one tribe continues. There is no doubt that the Prime Minister’s office will wield immense powers despite what skeptics say. That means that the deputy Prime Ministers will be fairly powerful people and will no doubt overshadow even the vice presidency which has just become an even weaker office that it was previously. It beats logic how the president of Kenya can hail from the Kikuyu tribe and then have one of the deputy prime ministers hail from the same tribe. That does not augur well for the country, period. It is instructive that all the front runners for deputy premiership from PNU were from that single tribe. In fact this is the big weakness with PNU that many people have not seen. The memories of Kenyans are indeed very short. Everybody seems to have forgotten that what really caused Moi’s downfall was the fact that Kanu was fairly dominated by persons from the Kalenjin community. However what President Kibaki has done in barely a quarter of the time that Moi was in power is amazing to say the least (that is in the 5 years, going to 6, that he has ruled Kenya in comparison to Moi’s 24 years). Kibaki has surpassed what his predecessor did in 24 years in avery short time. When you understand this key point, you will understand why President Kibaki lost the elections of last December by close to a landslide and you will also understand why chaos broke out immediately after the so-called election results were announced. You will also understand why PNU’s fall will create a more resounding crash than that of KANU before it.

The choice of Uhuru clearly shows you just how influential retired president Moi still is. We all know the thinly veiled threat that came from Kanu before the cabinet was named. Clearly the old man is still dreaming dreams about KANU. In my view the rapidly emerging political landscape can only mean that Kanu is dead as a dodo, whatever Moi or anybody else does.

The other thing that is very clear from the bloated cabinet is the fact that political games are still being played big time. ODM has emerged in a much stronger position than most analysts seem to realize.

We now have a prime minister at the heart of government with constitutional powers for the next 2 years to stick his nose in government business and government secrets. That can’t be good news for PNU hardliners some of whom were determined to retire very rich when President Kibaki’s final term comes to an end. That is the point that everybody has missed, concentrating instead on the much hyped portfolio balance.

Raila likes to say; Usione Simba imenyeshewa ukafikiri ni paka. (Do not see a lion that has been rained on and dare mistake it for a cat). That is the exact position Raila thrives from, that of being seen as an underdog. Indeed he started his presidential campaign as the “unelectable presidential candidate.” Remember? It looks like Raila is at a great disadvantage now but just watch what will happen.

Of course the other thing that all this does is to complicate the Kibaki succession a great deal and I am convinced that the current Mungiki troubles across the country are linked somehow to the Kibaki succession (I reveal what is really happening in my raw notes this week scroll down to the bottom of this page to find out how you can get them today).

What PNU have done as precautionary moves is to move the Ministry of Special programs out of the president’s office and then crowd the presidents office with numerous new portfolios that they believe need to be watched, mainly because of the individuals who occupy those dockets. These are immigration (Otieno Kajwang) national heritage and culture (William Ole Ntimama) as well as public service (Dalmas Otieno). All these are key allies to ODM leader Raila Odinga.

Clearly ODM have been fed a suicide ministry called the ministry of Lands (headed by James Orengo). This is the ministry that will have to be at the forefront of sorting out the mess created by President Kenyatta with big help from retired President Moi in the 60s which culminated in the recent troubles. Orengo has been set up for major failure mainly because he has no powers to make the bold changes required to correct the injustices of the past which is the only way to restore permanent peace. This story of always falling back on the law and the legal owners of the land will just NOT wash.

Then somebody has gone and done a ludicrous thing with the ministry of education. We now have a ministry of education and a ministry of higher education, science and technology (Sally Kosgei). The implication here is that the Ministry of education is the “boss ministry) while the Higher education ministry is a junior ministry reporting to it. If this were not the case then Sam Ongeri’s ministry should have been called the Minstry for basic education.

Another political game that has been played is what has been done with the Ministry of tourism and wildlife. It has been split into the ministry of tourism headed by Najib Balala of ODM and the ministry of Wild life and forestry headed close Kibaki confidante Noah Wekesa. At first glance Hon wekesa looks like he’s been fed a weak ministry. However the truth is that Forestry and Wild life will control all the lucrative parks in the country and will have the real power while the ministry of tourism will see Balala as a pen pusher and globe trotting salesman for Kenyan tourist attractions.

Na bado

How snake was used I attempt to make barren woman give birth

About Raila and Circumcision

Dear Kumekucha

I have read so many derogatory articles and comments about Raila Odinga not being circumcised as the main reason why some tribes in Kenya can't vote for him. I do NOT whether he is or not. I think circumcision is a matter between Raila and Ida. Kumekuchans, I don't know about you but I find this man/woman from Nevada a little bit weird. But I would suggest that we talk in some details on the issue he loves most - Circuncision. Circumcision is a very small thing that should not determine leadership. In my HR Classes i have never seen a chapter called circumcision! If it is there then I have not seen the book it is written in.

But I want to take this issue and discuss it further. It is not that Luos, Tesos, Turkanas and even other tribes fear it. It is only that they do not want to make it a public issue. There are so many people from these communities who have faced the knife but they look at it as a personal issue. Can Njoroge prove that he is circumcised? Can anyone prove that our leaders are circumcised or not? And how does circumcision improve leadership?
I want to assume that Wamalwa Kijana was circumcised because his community practice it. But Wamalwa (RIP) was more junile at heart than any of our leaders. Kijana was known to be a great lover of cartoon programmes on TV than take on serious issues head on. Kibaki is said to be circumcised. But who fence sits more than him? When Kenyan history is written, Kibaki will go down as the fence sitter par excellence! The most indecisive leader we have ever had! A man who sits and watch his wife assaulting his visitors!

And by the way what percentage is the foreskin to the whole human body? I can't get it on an ordinary calculator! If the small skin was the organ for making decisions, then the world would be a very dark place. Why? In a population of over 3 billion Men less than 0.5 billion are circumcised. I quote 'More than 80 percent of the world's males are intact, meaning they retain their foreskins' and about 80 percent of the world's population do not practice circumcision, nor have they ever done so. Among the non-circumcising nations are Holland, Belgium, France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Scandinavia, the U.S.S.R., China, and Japan. People employing circumcision do so either for "health" reasons or as a religious ritual practiced by Muslims, Jews, most black Africans, non-white Australians, and others.

Read more about reason why some people practiced circumcision in Caucasian population. So called "health" circumcision originated in the nineteenth century, when most diseases were of unknown etiology. Within the miasma of myth and ignorance, a theory emerged that masturbation caused many and varied ills. It seemed logical to some physicians to perform genital surgery on both sexes to stop masturbation; the major technique applied to males was circumcision. This was especially true in the English-speaking countries because it accorded with the mid-Victorian attitude toward sex as sinful and debilitating'.

If only circumcised populace were to rule this world, then we would still be in stone age. The Wright brothers were not Circumcised. If their contributions to aviation was to be ignored because of the fact that they had foreskin than where would we be today? And many more.

Not that only 1% of white population in NewZealand and Australia are circumcised.

What is my poin in all this? The foreskin does not matter in issues of leadership. All that matters is individual capability and capacity.

In any case, those hybrid humans who have met the knife should be able to give birth to hybrids only i.e. born already circumcised! But because this is not possible means that circumcision is not important except for health and hygiene reasons only!

By the way I met the knife too but do I say... It does not add any tea or ugali on my plate! It is a matter between me and my wife. It does not affect my work at all. Period.

STATEMENT ON CURRENT IMPASSE BY SALIM LONE, ODM DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS

I would like to address some of the issues surrounding the current impasse on the implementation of the National Accord and the formation of the grand coalition government the Accord mandates for our country.

To begin with, let me emphasize two important statements made yesterday. The Prime Minister Designate Raila Odinga described the differences in the negotiation as “a small gap.” President Mwai Kibaki on his part indicated that the differences were “not insurmountable.” So clearly substantial progress has been made in these discussions and both sides are hopeful of a speedy conclusion.

The other point I want to address is the assertion yesterday by Government Spokesman Dr. Alfred Mutua that new conditions by ODM are not acceptable to PNU, and that there should be no pre-conditions. I am afraid Dr. Mutua is wrong on both these counts.

In our last letter to President Kibaki, dated 7 April, we wrote that “we look forward to availing ourselves at the earliest opportunity” to continuing the discussions.

In an earlier letter the same day, the PM designate proposed that in view of the numerous inconclusive meetings between the two principals, a joint team should prepare a series of agreements that would make it easier for the principals to conclude the negotiations. As I am sure you will all agree, each time a meeting between the President and the Prime Minister Designate is announced, Kenyans breathe huge sighs of relief. But when nothing concrete emerges, there is huge let down and even anger and frustration.

In neither letter was there a hint of new conditions or any pre-conditions.

Given the disagreement about what transpired in the one-on-one meeting on Thursday, we laid out in the letter the issues that needed to be addressed. NONE OF THE ISSUES WAS NEW. In a number of previous communications, we had indicated that the power sharing concerned not only the Cabinet but a range of other senior political appointments which have a direct bearing on the efficient running of the government.

Just as with the cabinet, these senior positions must also reflect the diverse face of our nation. At the moment, this is not all the case, and in fact is a source of immense concern in the country.

These issues remain on the table to be discussed.

So let me state clearly that the key stumbling block to an agreement is, first and foremost, the formation of a new Cabinet which reflects genuine power sharing as enshrined in the Accord and the Constitution. On this front, we have made numerous concessions in the hope that a final agreement would end the current anxiety and allow a new government to address the pressing priorities facing our nation.

On the basis of the portfolio balance we proposed, only five ministries are now at issue – Local Government, Foreign Affairs, Energy, Transport and Cabinet Affairs. We had gone to our very maximum in earlier negotiations by giving up the key Finance and Internal Security portfolios, even though we had previously insisted that one of these must come to us. That is why we refer to our position now as the “irreducible minimum”.

So let me conclude by saying that we, and all Kenyans, are extremely keen for the negotiations to move forward rapidly. We appeal to PNU to reconsider its position on the one immediate issue, portfolio balance, so that Kenyans can finally begin to feel that hope, and alleviation of their plight, is around the corner.

PNU Makes Its First Move In Grand Anti-ODM Dirty Tricks

KACC Asks Mudavadi To Explain Kshs 10 Million Woodley House

The move that PNU masde this morning has been expected for months now. Those who have been regular readers of this blog will know that in the run up to the failed elections of last year and with dwindling support from Western province, this blogger was reliably informed that Musalia Mudavadi’s file was being looked at with blackmail being high on the minds of PNU operatives then.

One thing Kenyans should not forget about the duly elected president is that he has never made a decisive decision in his life. He always moves and hesitates a million times before finally making his move very late when the very effectiveness it may have had has been completely diluted. The Mudvadi issue is no exception because this writer is very much aware that it has been in the works now for a long time. Just the way William Ruto’s is still in the works.

Now after weeks of intimidating Musalia Mudavadi, the Kenya Anti Corruption Commission which is best known for prosecuting traffic policemen for taking Kshs 50 from matatu touts, has this morning moved to the high court to compel Mudavadi to appear before it to disclose how he acquired a Woodley house valued at Kshs 10 million which is in his name.

With that single move PNU have hit right at the heart of ODM in a strategy that is meant to create cracks of disunity within the ODM pentagon top brass of the party. It is yet another classic example of how justice in Kenya is so selective. The game is really very simple. Any ODM Pentagon member who dares to lift a finger will be told; “File yako pia tunangali.” (We are also looking into your file).

Interestingly in all the suspect deals that Mudavadi may have been involved in the past, those involving retired President Moi have been very conveniently ignored and the one chosen is a mere Kshs 10 million house in Woodley. Indeed it is the same reason that has helped William Ruto avoid harassment from KACC because most of his deals during the Kanu days involved Mama na Baba President Moi (now retired). President Moi, a close advisor of the duly elected president is obviously being protected and the idea is to keep his name out of the limelight as much as possible as his assets around the world are moved.

Also ignored by KACC are numerous personalities at the heart of PNU starting with a well known cowboy contractor who never completes projects but always finances President Kibaki’s campaign kitty. His name is Ephrahim Maina of the infamous Kirinyaga construction. Even more interesting is the fact that Roads Minister of the illegal cabinet, John Michuki in canceling contractor’s contracts is yet to touch good old Ephrahim. How can he?

Also ignored by KACC are some individuals close to the president who have been involved in a very dirty deal that has hived out a large tract of land from the famous Masai Mara game reserve. There is plenty of evidence on that case including some collected by a certain judge. But alas, it is not politically correct to prosecute those crooks. Instead KACC has gone for a man who when put next to most of the crooks within PNU is clearly made to look like Mother Teresa incarnate.

Of even more importance to the nation, if KACC are really eager to attempt to redeem themselves, would have been for them to prosecute all those jokers at the disgraced ECK who caused so much blood to be spilt in the country when they deliberately bungled the election at the tallying stage. Even my 7 year old grandson can clearly see the tons of evidence that clearly show the ECK announced results without any paperwork to support the gibberish they wanted Kenyans to believe were presidential election results. This corruption beats all other corruption deals done in the history of the motherland because it has spilt lots of blood (over 5,000 Kenyans lost their lives) and then it has split the country into half. The truth is that had the ECK announced genuine results, PNU supporters on the ground would have accepted them and gone back to the drawing boards thus keeping the country united. Instead the ECK acted at the behest of a handful of people who were prepared to do anything to ensure that Hon Raila Odinga (whom they just see as Mujaruo) did NOT ascend to the presidency.

Sigh. That’s Kenya and its’ selective justice for you.

The next move PNU are planning is to arrest another prominent ODM pentagon member and then to hoodwink the public that justice is fair this time, they will also arrest and charge a PNU MP who has been linked to financing violence and has had US visa problems very recently. Court cases take a long time and when the public have forgotten, the PNU operative will win his case and be freed while the ODM guy will be roasted.

As my favorite ODM MP said the other day; BRING IT ON!! Kenyans are ready.

We Are Ready For Fresh Elections, PNU Now Says

And Why Kibaki Must Go NOW

The question on the minds of worried Kenyans now is whether the violence that has broken out in the country is spreading or it is just pockets of resistance that will easily be contained?

Reports reaching this blogger indicate that protests and skirmishes have so far been reported in Nairobi’s Kibera slums, Kipkelion (near Kericho) and in Kisumu. However all have been contained quickly and successful only that in Kibera the railway line that cuts through East And Central Africa’s largest slum was once again destroyed by rioting mobs. Still, at the time of writing this post, tensions remained high in most of Rift Valley.

But the biggest surprise came out of the tough talking PNU and affiliate parties parliamentary group meeting yesterday. The MPs emerged from their meeting vowing to fully support the president even if the worst came to the worst and he dissolved parliament and called for fresh elections.

Of course PNU were bluffing and the truth is that a fresh general election is the last thing President Kibaki wants. But Kenyans will also remember that not too long ago, the last thing President Kibaki wanted were the Anan-brokered peace talks. But they still happened did they not? And shortly after he had sent his ministers to say that those coming to broker peace were coming all that way for a cup of tea. My take is that I will be surprised if Kenyans do not go back to the polls within the next 12 months. But more on that later.

Obviously the game being played by PNU is one of bravado because the call for fresh elections from ODM is hitting where it hurts most.

The biggest problem president Kibaki would face (if he was even eligible to run again) would be from his own Kikuyu community. The truth is that these dear fellow Kenyans, our brothers and sisters have suffered greatly in IDP camps. But to add insult to injury politicians have taken to mentioning IDPs in recent times with only political mileage being the motive. There is nothing that can be more cruel and insensitive.

Nobody has lifted a finger to help alleviate their pain and suffering. In fact the IDPs problem has exposed our political class for who they really are and most of that blame must lie squarely on the door step of one Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki. Indeed it should be very clear now that what is ailing Kenya most terribly now is a disease, nay a fatal disease called Mwai Kibaki. Any Kenyan who is honest with themselves irrespective of what tribe they come from will quickly admit that if Mwai Kibaki were to leave office today the country would quickly get out of every crisis facing her today.

Let us completely forget our tribal affiliations for one minute and analyse the Kibaki presidency soberly and how the country has limped from one crisis to another, culminating in the biggest political crisis ever seen here (indeed bigger than the crisis of 1952 involving Mau Mau cutting off people’s heads and the state of emergency).

To be totally honest, the man is just NOT a leader. In fact for many years those who study management will have a text book example of how indecisiveness can be so dangerous in any kind of leadership. Not to mention the fact that he finds it difficult to get out of bed before 11 am on most mornings.

And now with the country at edge of abyss, President Kibaki has a chance to do the only brave thing he has ever done in his long career in politics, but NO, he won’t. Instead he will hang on to power, even if the country goes to the dogs.

In the man’s mind we are in the year two thousand and sixties. Liitle has it dawned on him that a vast majority of Kenyans today were not even born when that decade was starting. Indeed the most dangerous criminals we have today were not even born in the mid sixties. So how on earth can a politician like Mwai Kibaki lead the government to a creative solution? In deed so far his strategy has been to treat the symptom rather than address the root cause of the disease. In deed his supporters would ask themselves what happened to all those rosy promises of finding employment for the youth? He current troubles are not an excuse because the Kibaki government has spend a fortune on security and hiring new cops and the reason for the country requiring so many more policemen so suddenly again lands squarely on Mwai Kibaki’s door step.

This is all totally unacceptable.

I just want to make my position very clear here, because I can already see the barbs being aimed at me for this post. I am NOT suggesting that Kibaki steps down for Raila. NO WAY. Although the truth is that Raila won the last general elections, my view is that even he too should step aside so that the country has a chance of being re-united once more. The difference here is that Raila Odinga has had a long history of giving sacrifices and I have no doubt that he is the kind of person who would quickly step down if convinced that the people were demanding it.

The 10^th Parliament Will Be The Shortest Serving

Anybody taking a little time to analyze the political mood in the country at he moment will be able to tell that whichever way one looks at the current situation; the 10^th parliament will go down in history as the shortest serving parliament ever.

It is now abundantly clear that this American solution that was imposed on us of a grand coalition will just not work. Not now and not in 100 years. And amazingly many Kenyans too relived when the Anan peace deal was signed did not realize that there was no way it was going to work.

Picture the following situation. Thieves break into your house and steal everything. However because they are well-connected and powerful thieves, when police confront them, they claim that the property belongs to them and that they duly purchased it from various shops. And since they have stolen from poor folks who have no connections, the police know which side of their bread is buttered. One telephone call from one of the thieves and the local police chief will be transferred to oblivion. But then the poor people rise up and start protesting and violence breaks out. To restore peace and order the police decide that the stolen property will be shared out. However human nature is such that once a thief, always a thief. Have you heard of a thief who stole something so that he could return it? Only circumstances force thieves to return stuff and very dire ones at that.

So is it surprising that the side that stole wants the lion’s share of the loot? Not really it is human nature and even ODM were fools to believe that thieves reform overnight.

The only solution now is for Kenyans to use the information they have gathered since last December to go back to the polls. And in my view the country will be prepared much more quickly for those polls if Kibaki, Raila and Ruto are barred from running again. Indeed it will be an excellent idea if anybody who has ever held political office before is barred from running so that Kenya can get a real chance of having a clean new start.

A Slip of the Tongue

In the shoes of a teacher whose tongue did a jumble, in front of the whole school and parents on closing day, when he was reading the marks of the pupils for all present to hear.

'Twas on closing day,
When my tongue did a jumble,
Not my liking, I suppose,
But it did all the same.

'Stood up to read the marks,
And I called parents pupils,
Tried again, stammering,
But it didn't help a thing.

Okay, I was corrected,
And called parents parents,
I could see them smiling,
Smiling at my slip.

'Asked them to forgive me,
For I would read in Kiswahili,
There again my tongue somersaulted,
This time my face felt hot.

I don't know what they thought of me,
A tall, good-for-nothing teacher, maybe,
But one thing I know, surely,
All of us 've had a slip one time or the other.

(Drop Ritch a line here: undaunted at yahoo dot com)

Please Forgive Me

These are the words of a man asking for forgiveness from a woman. It takes loads and loads of guts for a man to ask for forgiveness from a woman. Most men believe asking for forgiveness, especially from a woman, is stooping too low and that it is a sign of subservience. However, I say, men of honour admit when they are wrong and, unabashedly, ask for forgiveness (even from women!)

I am lost for words,
Because of how I played my cards,
It's a real shame,
To even imagine.

'can't imagine,
That I did it,
To no one but you,
I simply can't imagine:

To you,
Whom yours is mine,
And mine yours,
I did such a damn thing.

How could I break your heart?
I know it hurt,
Right betwixt and between,
The wound and the flesh.

Oh, please do for...

'can't bring myself,
To say what I must,
(Though, I really mean it),
Please honour my request.

Don't shame me this once,
Lend me a listening ear,
Right, are you set?
Let me spill the beans.

I verily entreat you,
And earnestly ask,
Do forgive me,
Please forgive me:

Oh please do...

(Drop Ritch a line here: undaunted at yahoo dot com)

Is ODM Secretly Preparing For Fresh General Elections?

As the comedy of errors over naming a simple cabinet, being played out at Harambee house in Nairobi drags on, seemingly endlessly, one thing is becoming increasingly clear by the day. And that is the fact that the sooner the country can go back to the polls the better.

In fact there are those who believe (including this writer) that only free and fair polls as soon as is practicable can save our beloved motherland from more blood letting. As usual the political class has completely failed to see the increasing clamor by ordinary Kenyans for fresh new leadership under a new constitution. Needless to say, it is abundantly clear that if the will of the people is continuously ignored and frustrated, we are headed for an ugly class war in Kenya.

But it appears that not everybody is oblivious of the inevitable. Recent actions by ODM leader Raila Odinga and indeed the unfolding of events behind the scenes at the party seem to suggest that ODM could already be preparing for fresh general elections. Probably the most significant change around Raila Odinga that seems to suggest this is the rise and rise of one Dalmas Otieno. It is instructive that in the names handed over to the President by ODM Dalmas Otieno has been earmarked for one of the most significant portfolios on the ODM side, namely the Ministry of Roads.

More telling is the insistence of analysts that the sudden sharp rise of Asian businessmen lining up to see the Prime Minister designate can directly be traced back to this Dalmas Otieno character. This writer is currently preparing a detailed dossier on the man that Kenyans need to know a little better. My report will appear here soon.

Incidentally the rise of Hon Mr Otieno has coincided with the rapid decline of Prof Anyang Nyong’o as a major force and figure on Raila’s side in ODM.

Clearly all signs point to ODM being keen on cutting the kind of deals that raise money for a political campaign, more specifically a general election and a presidential campaign.

But is Kenya really headed to another general election?

The answer to that question should be pretty obvious by now and I reckon that Kenya could well be back at the polls within a year at the most.

To start with the circus that has been played over the cabinet appointments makes it quite clear that there is no way that the two sides can work together. One does not need to be a rocket scientist to see that what will follow soon, even after the naming of the grand coalition cabinet will be endless squabbles within the crowded cabinet room. In fact it has become abundantly clear that even the reform agenda being touted may just end up still-born. Instead we will be treated to eternal drama as Kenyans continue to suffer in unprecedented levels. Interestingly President Kibaki honest view is that reforms are Upumbavu. Raila on the other hand will be hard pressed to push through any reforms when he will be so busy trying to contain the PNU onslaught and put out the constant fires they will surely light all over the place. In any case the ODM leader does not even bother to pretend to be a reformer any more.

Then there is nobody talking about accountability any more. What has actually happened is that we have opened the doors of the “jewelry shop” that is Kenya, wide open to mostly known jewelry thieves. The consequences of this are not too difficult to predict.

Of course President Kibaki and PNU will do everything in their power to resist a general election which would obviously put them at great disadvantage. However going by the mood in the country at the moment, they will soon find that they cannot stop the tide which will be powered by the masses of Kenya. In other words Kibaki and his cronies who are now confidently at the helm believing that controlling the military and security forces is enough will be hit by something they will not see until it is too late.

In fact the biggest threat to PNU and its’ affiliate parties which they are yet to see is in the numerous IDP camps in Rift Valley where people who mostly voted Kibaki are living in deplorable and inhuman conditions. These persons are extremely upset and will soon act in a way that will surprise the political class who are all busy sharing out the national cake without giving more than lip service to the plight of the displaced.

Actually on a positive note that anger is about to turn the Kenyans in those IDP camps from people who mostly voted along tribal lines into people keenly aware of the fact that there are only two genuine tribes that matter in the country. Namely the haves and the have nots.

It really is sad that this coalition government was a foreign idea imposed on Kenyans that will end up NOT working. Former UN general secretary Kofi Annan who fled soon after the deal was signed knows it and will not return for anything, which in itself is very telling.

P.S. President Kibaki was due to leave the country tomorrow for a State trip to India. It has now emerged that the president has cancelled the trip due to the ongoing keen negotiations with ODM over the cabinet crisis. Foreign affairs cabinet Minister, Moses Wetangula will represent him as head of the Kenyan delegation.

Who Is President Kibaki’s Boss?

Grand Coalition Government Will NOT Be Announced On Sunday After All

Will The Real Duly Elected President Of Kenya Please Stand Up

It is unacceptable that as we enter the second quarter of 2008, I am writing this post.

The latest news is that even the bloated 40 member-cabinet will not be named tomorrow after all. Signs that all was not well emerged on Friday when the government spokesman Dr Alfred Mutua released a list of the proposed cabinet and the way they were going to be shared out between ODM and PNU.

It immediately became clear that President Kibaki had changed his mind after his breakthrough meeting with Raila Odinga, just the previous day. In fact my mind immediately went back to the widely circulated version of what had transpired at the Kibaki/Raila meeting. It is said that President Kibaki had reduced his earlier demand of cabinet poirtfolios from 44 to 40 expecting Raila to still protest but to his surprise, the ODM leader quickly conceded (for the sake of moving the process forward) and that caught the president unwares. He mumbled something about consultation and Raila is said to have asked him if he had other bosses above him. The two men then quickly concluded all details concerning the grand coalition cabinet including how they were going to share out ministries. In my view this list still greatly favoured PNU. (see ODM version of the agreed upon portfolio balance).

However it appears that when Kibaki consulted his bosses at PNU, they quickly rubbished the agreement he had had made with Raila necessitating the statement by Dr Alfred Mutua, this time presenting a brand new list approved by Kibaki’s bosses.

This latest antics from the handful of people who have held the country at ransom since last December provoked great anger in the ODM camp and Raila’s spokesman Salim Lone speaking on behalf of the ODM leader quite rightly pointed out that ODM had conceded a lot to get the country to where it was currently and there was NO way he was going to concede any more.

A government statement a short while ago now says that Raila Odinga and President Kibaki are due to have a meeting tomorrow (Sunday) morning at 10:00. Which makes the President’s remarks at a passing out parade at GSU headquarters on Friday take on a whole new meaning. The president said that the cabinet would be announced on Sunday afternoon. He emphasized Sunday afternoon. Could it be that after the meeting in the morning, the new cabinet will be announced tomorrow afternoon?

I posed this question to some knowledgeable insiders and they insist that it is doubtful. The point to the fact that the bridge to be crossed between the cabinet list prepared by Kibaki’s bosses and ODM’s position is very wide indeed. Besides whatever Raila and Kibaki discuss tomorrow morning will still have to be ratified by President Kibaki’s bosses later in the day.

Which leads us to the million shilling question; who is President Kibaki’s boss(es)?

There was a time when it was widely believed to be one Lucy “slap everybody in site” Muthoni Kibaki. But then the first lady has not made any public appearances since the disputed general elections of last December. Could it be that the new bosses have been in office since the election crisis? And if this is the case, who are they? Who are these people who did not present themselves for elections and did not even steal votes to qualify themselves as the final authorities over Kenya?

But even as Kenyans debate long and hard on that question, the civil society campaign against the bloated proposed cabinet has picked up with a vengeance. They have threatened to make sure that the swearing in ceremony scheduled for Uhuru park next weekend does not happen. Their argument and that of the vast majority of Kenyans is clear. Why should starving Kenyans support the big fat bloated cabinet? They are demanding a cabinet of not more than 24 portfolios.

If you want to know how serious Kenyans are, you should note the fact that nobody is laughing at some of the ministries. My eyes tell me that there is a ministry of cabinet affairs!! Can you believe that!! And then the ministry of Nairobi affairs has persisted!! We now demand one for Mombasa and another for Kisumu and why not add every major town in Kenya (while we are at it), after all the smaller towns need a ministry much more than Nairobi where all the big fat ministers sit and action is always quickly taken pretty quickly when there is a problem affecting them (and not the wananchi). For example, shortly after some of them spend 4 hours in a traffic jam, all matatus are quickly banned from the CBD.

P.S. It seems that Raila Odinga’s handlers are keen to portray their leader as an emotionless statesman (which is just not like Raila). Speaking at the funeral of William Ruto’s dad in Eldoret earlier today. Raila spoke about a new constitution for Kenya which will be the number one priority for the coming grand coalition government. Emotional issues like the numerous concessions he has made to PNU and how he will now NOT make any more concessions were left to his foot soldiers like Salim Lone.

P.S. 2 No PNU minister turned up at the burial of William Ruto’s dad. However Nichloas Kipyator Biwott was there. Surprise, surprise.

Who is listening in to your cell phone conversations?

How you can protect yourself

After decades of Nyayo house torture chambers and government clamp downs on political activity, many Kenyans are still extremely nervous about who may be listening in to their cell phone conversations.

In the latest issue of my raw notes, I publish some extremely sensitive information detailing exactly how the system has been set up by security agents in Kenya to listen in to cell phone conversations and also to access sms messages sent.

Few Kenyans know it but there are quite a number of still-baffled Kenyans waiting for their cases to be heard where they have been charged with spreading alarming reports using their cell phones. What most of these people did was to simply forward messages that they received on their phones, some of which were true, according to my sources.

Get my raw notes today and get all this fascinating information and also learn how you can protect yourself and why sms messages are much more riskier than ordinary calls.

Plus the little known secret behind the real reason the Kalenjin love and trust Ruto so much.

* And numerous other heart-stopping stories every week.

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