One of the advantages of having a blog that allows anonymous comments is the fact that people can dare share intimate details of what is really bothering them. Marital rape is an issue that is not discussed enough and yet from the kind of letters I have been receiving for a long time, it is a huge problem in Kenya.
Here is an example of what some Kenyans wives go through;
Thank you for your informative blog.
I wanted to make a suggestion that you discuss this thing of marital rape in your blog. You touched on it some time back but did not say much.
This thing of wife rape is true kabisa. My husband is in the mood virtually every night and expects me to dutifully turn over and do my duty, no matter what kind of day I have had. But sometimes I am too exhausted to submit, after a hectic day in the office and so I stand my ground and refuse. That's when all hell breaks lose. He will sulk and accuse me of desiring other men and not being interested in him. Then finally if he sees no reaction from me he will usually turn round quickly and violently force my legs apart completely ignoring my protests. To me this is not sex between a man and a wife but rape, pure and simple. Akishamaliza he will then turn over and within minutes will be snoring.
I love my husband and have nothing else against him. He is a good provider and an excellent father and I dare say, a good lover. But this is his one weakness that really bothers me. Any suggestions as to what I should do?
My initial reaction is that this is a typical man who does not understand women and is probably not really interested in doing so. Which marriage does not have a problem of an oversexed man (other times it is an oversexed woman)? However the problem mainly arises when it is the man who has excess libido. More often than not they will fail to control themselves and end up forcing themselves on their poor exhausted wives. This is rape, no matter what angle you look at it from.
My fellow men are notorious for their ignorance where women are concerned. They fail to realize that the cardinal rule is that a woman is like a bank account. You take out exactly what you have put in… and maybe some interest after a long time. Even your wife of 20 years is still a woman and would not mind a little "bribery" to put her into the mood. A box of her favorite chocolates. Flowers on another day other than the usual Valentines (just because everybody else is giving flowers) and so on. How about washing dishes and reducing her load when she comes from work on that D-Day? I realize that what I am suggesting here is not African, but then what is African?
Father and two sons seduced by a woman called "death."
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