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Friday, March 09, 2007

Real Gikuyu Man Answers Frustrated Beauty Who Complained About Her Lovers

Wewe Kumekucha,

If you do not publish this I will confirm that you are a coward with the agenda to discredit men of a certain prominent Kenyan community in this blog of yours. You have repeatedly done it on the political front and now you want to maliza kabisa on the social front.

The remarks of one so-called, allegedly frustrated Kikuyu beauty cannot go unchallenged. Every man out there with a Kikuyu woman knows the truth. They know where the problem really is. It is not with the men but with our women.

I can only classify them as the worst tease ever. They are mostly attractive. That is if you don't consider the ankle and lower legs area—and sometimes the posterior, which can be flat enough to use a T square on. But in bed, Aiii !#&@#! Let me say that they leave a lot to be desired and that is being very, very, very kind indeed.

As has been suggested by various insightful and intelligent persons who have left comments at the said second rate article post, the problem is not with Kikuyu men but with Kikuyu women and I am certain that this is where the problem is with this kawoman.

I have reformed but in the days when I was known as "bad news Kamau" I went through many Kikuyu women and they are all the same. Boring, stare at the ceiling waiting for something to happen and generally cold when they should be hot, detached when they should show some enthusiasm, silent when they should cry out and generally emit noises that can encourage better performance and without which plan B, which usually takes the whole episode to a higher level, can never be executed. I think that is the reason why I am not married to a fellow Kikuyu despite the best efforts of my good mum (bless her soul) in launching a serious Moi-project-Uhuru on me, in an attempt to impose a certain candidate for wife.

Some of my older friends say that the whole problem stems from the fact that many Kikuyus still circumcise their women, which is designed to kill sexual desire. I do not agree because many other tribes circumcise their women and they are still hot with a capital H. The Masai is one example. And another which I once had a personal unforgettable experience with, are the Merus. Wow!!

This Kikuyu beauty of yours, if she really exists, is the problem and now she is trying to pass the buck to Kikuyu men. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Kikuyu men and I believe that they are amongst the best in the market because apart from being good providers of which there is no argument about, we are also sensitive and skillful lovers.

The problem for centuries, has always been with our women. I believe that one of the reasons that causes our women to be so cold is that a very large percentage of them are gold diggers. Money comes first and it is what turns them on and probably off at times. I say off, because sometimes their minds wander off to what they are going to do with the guy's cash. I suspect that as they are staring at the roof and counting the ceiling partitions, they are most probably thinking about the other "S" which is much more important to them. The other "S" is of course shopping.

Read the post that provoked this article

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

Am a Kikuyu and i love my peoples but seriously, we are the most clueless when it comes to sex and relationships. men AND women.
Men are not taught to treat their women with gentleness. Women are not taught to please their men in bed.
It is just like kikuyu food, BLAND! in bold. Githeri, mukimo, nduma, ngwache aiiii! just boiled no flavor no creativity. Somehow that extends to the bed. This is not scientifically proven but it is too coincidental to ignore.

Kiku said...

@Real Gikuyu Man, you have only made it worse. Both you and that lady are wrong because every individual is different so your arguments are only a matter of oversimplified opinions! Why dont you and your partners converse in dialogues and sort the problems right there and then instead of leaving relationships bitter and angry over issues you would have easily solved. No one is perfect be it a meru, kamba, caucasian, asian et al!!

@Anonymous, there is nothing coincidental! I am a kikuyu and so is my boyfriend. We have a great relationship and sex life and its because we are open to each other! Your relationships will forever be bland only because of your misconceptions! Shauri yenu!
Just like the food you have mentioned, if you dont spice it up you will always have the same dull flavor!

Anonymous said...

ne ma! Kiuk women are boring, so says my Kiuk husband! we have been together for 7 years now and he says he the one Kiuk chic he dated, made him swear that there shall be no more daughter of the slopes for him! by the way am Luo... and Kiuk chics wonder why their sex lives are dull. kama unafikiria how you are going to spend dude's chingy before he even has it.... shauri yako!

Anonymous said...

Am ashamed that I'm reading this. I wont even bother to voice my opinion at this third rate discussion. Chris, you've lowered your standards here.

Anonymous said...

As another anonymous comment just said, this discussion does not warrant a comment.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! I must say this is the funniest blog i have ever come across... even those ones for celebrity rumours kando!

Haya... i completely agree with Kiku.. you hit the nail on the head. Lovemaking is an art and can only be perfected when the two people involved are insync... dont blame this on tribe... thats the easy way out!

And for those who say this article isn't worth commenting on, how is it then that you left a comment? *(shaking head)* I personally think that such discussions are healthy, as long as they are not abused or used to make others feel inferior or to make general accusations that have no statistical basis...

Anonymous said...

Some Jango posing as Kikuyu's, writing negative about Kikuyu men then responding to themselves. Pathetic!

kyukhoney said...

Am a kyuk chick and in agreement with "@real gikuyu man" people are different i Must say my first sexual experience with a kyuk jamaa was boring n he always used to roll over right after leaving me feeling used n bitter but a year after we broke up came along "my stallion in bed" who needless to say was also a a kyuk jamaa! its totally an individualistic thing n people need to communicate their pleasures to each other!! Its no good sitting there expecting things to change without doing something about it! Chicks should learn to be honest with their jamaas (coz thats our greatest weakness when it comes to sex) n jamaas should learn to take it!! (a real man would!) if a jamaa is rubbish at it, he should be told so he can have a chance to redeam himself! n if he cant be bothered to, id say its time to move on gals!!!!! (well, unless ur married to him, in which case woe unto you!!!). On the other hand, its also about time that jamaas started vocalising what they want their women to do for them!!! (does any gal feel me out there??) Gals dont you find jamaas are always too quick to thrush us yet they never really tell you what they want of you? (we dont read minds you know!) in my experience iv found jamaas are much more shy that women when faced with the question "what do you like being done to you sweety?" or "sweetheart, teach me how to please you? (galfreinds borrow some tips here!) Does any brother out there want to educate me here?? am still puzzled??? Lets talk people, lets talk.....

Anonymous said...

kyuk chics r boring but beuty.will someone please leave jangos out of this.cant we make acomment without blamin jangos guys lets grow up and sort issues instead of blamin others.learn the simple abc of sex

Asenwa said...

The stereotype about Kikuyu women is nothing but a fact. Of the ten encounters I had with these chicks, I would be crazy to want to repeat it again. After the encounter, one feels like having wasted their time na d resource for these women who have no clue what sex is all about. I think they all need training otherwise, many a men will be disssapointed with these crop of women who only know about getting money and nothing else from men.

Anonymous said...

I'M LUHYA AND ALL I DATE IS KYUKS' NEVER HAD A PROBLEM AS FAR AS SEX GOES, THEY CAN RIDE YOU ALL NITE LONG. AND EVEN WHEN THEY MARRY THEIR OWN WOMEN, THEY'LL STILL HAVE NDOGONDOGO FROM ANOTHER TRIBE BECAUSE THEY SAY THEIR WOMEN ARE BORING IN BED AND DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK. SO YOU KIKUYU CHICKS WITH YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY, LEARN SOME RECEIPES TO SPICE UP YOUR MEN IF YOU MUST HAVE YOUR OWN OR YOU'LL FOREVER COMPLAIN ABOUT THEM WHEREAS YOU'RE THEIR REAL PROBLEM.THEIR ONLY PROBLEM THEY'RE VERY STINGY. QUESS BECAUSE THEY'RE USED TO THEIR GOLD DIGGING WOMEN AND THINK THAT'S WHAT ALL WOMEN WANT FROM THEM.ASIPONUNUA NYAKE, SPICE KABICHI NA ROIKO. HE'LL STILL LOVE IT.

Muthamaki said...

I'm a real Kikuyu and I don't believe that the first comment was written by a Kikuyu; money has been poured to destroy us! Having been with Kikuyu women, their skills are definitely distributed across the entire range. i.e. each is different. And some will shock you in their extreme skills or lack thereof! The way I look at it- a person [man or woman] needs to inspire the partner and bring out the "stallion in bed" that is inside of them. For the Kikuyus out there, I know you have it, just get it out; safely!

moh2 said...

That's all crap i had this Kiuk chic; Damn the sex was good, Believe you me the chic could ride me like a Stallion an all that comes with sex, The foreplay n everything she was okay. So please don't generalise it to make it look like all Kiuk chics are the same...... NILIKUWA NA TIBIWA SAWA SAWA PALE PALE!!

Anonymous said...

It is good this debate has come up. Sex is one of the two major causes of breakups (the other is money), i believe. However, it is not an issue of tribe. Sex is an art, that means any one who cares to learn can: it is not genetic

Anonymous said...

I agree with Muthamaki. Money has been poured to spoil the god name ff the Kik guys and gals..(all men frm all cultures are useless in bed--except me of course--I have been told a zillion times by ladies from varied races, backgrounds and reigions). I am a jang who is engaged to a Kik chick. I am not ashamed to admit that what made me pop the question was the way she carried the sex thing--to ethereal levels may I say. As for money, all wmen are the same A jang woman,fr example, would never look at you twice if you are not dressed to kill--meaning, give the impression you are loaded, then you get the smile. When I met my fiancee for the first time, I was very poorly dressed. She didn't know my financial backgrund at all. That impressed me a lot. As for Kik men, I leave that the the ladies t judge. IF THEY ARE PERFORMING POORLY, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THAT--HEE HEE HEE-WANDELEE TU HIVYO-:))

Anonymous said...

Are some of these comments serious? The pathetic thing about them is generalisation of peoples behaviour based on ethnicity, which to me is shallow and to say the least SHEN!

Betty said...

I would be glad to hear comments from the people who don`t like money.

Who does not like Money? I know Indians, Chinese, Kikuyus all like money.

Patriciah said...

It doesn't matter which tribe one comes from, what matters is this person have a problem we give him/her a solution! Don't generalise the peoples based on ethnics. It is a pity that instead of finding a solution, ...........................
We are not equal, you cannot be me nor can I be u. If it was one or two Kiuk men failed to do their duties properly don't blame all.

N if they are ignorant they should work on that, they should spice thier bed meals for a good taste.

Anonymous said...

am not kyuk but i am a kenyan who has sampled women from almost all tribes in kenya, had one or two from TZ< Ug, Indian,mexican,oriental,african American and caucasian, one thing is true of all women no matter color or cultural bacground, all cats look grey in the dark,the thing is the same no matter what the only difference is how the individual spices it up, some are wild cats some are gentle and yet there are those who cannot handle it, i have no authority on how kikuyu men perform but i believe just like any individual from any community or culture it all depends on exposure and willingnes from both concerned parties to make sex what sex should be, cold or hot should not just apply to kyuk chicks it runs across the board as i said earlier it all depends on the individual.
sex is not something that should only take place just in the bedroon taking off your underwear only under the sheets in the dark. love making starts from out there on a date turning on your man or woman while having that drink or even driving home from the office or from wherever u r flirt with your man or woman during the day when u call him up tease each other, by the time you get to the real meal, your appetites are up the roof, and i believe u will even start from the living room or kitchen floor or on the stairway to the bedroom, try it jamaas those and you women who think and believe that sex is only for the bedroom in the dark and please do let me know whether it does not work miracles to even those who suffer from premature ejaculation, and thoes women who suffer from frigidity.
let us not blame tribes on perfomances look deeeeep into your own self for the problem if any

anonymous

Anonymous said...

am a kao n the most memorable affair ive had was wit a kyuk lady. Ive had many gals 4rom dif...tribes bt this gal was de best n i ended up marrying her, that why i agree wit whoever says it depends on the indivindual not tribe.

Anonymous said...

bwana, from my experience, I think Kikuyu women adore money, and that has had an effect on their love lives. Most of them are extremely beautiful, and extremely disappointing in bed. Period

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mlanguzi said...

hmmmm!!!intersting to hear how evryone has dated and sampled kyuks.It's all laughable.All I can say is people are diffrent in character and sophistication.Did the guys who cosider kyuk women boring try atleast to change that fact?I believe a bad driver is product of the instructor.so without saying much the ones complaining are to be doubted themselves.I believe the way I prepare my food is the way I'm going to eat it.Don't expect miracles it's not jack n the bean stalk he even had to sow magic beans to get the skies!!!!!!

new said...

you need to build a bridge and get over it.are you serious?you got it all wrong!!!!stop rocking the boat,you are the problem it seems.
each of us carries their own sex organs!use the mush in between your ears for another excuse for your non-performming.Get off yah high horse.i dont need my kyuk community to define the extent to which i enjoy sex.what i like is not what she likes.and hey no one is a mind reader.talk to each other.
sex goddess

Anonymous said...

Kikuyu women are plain lousy in bed.... and this is not an insult. Its a wake-up call; so if u r dating or married to kikuyu lady, please challenge me. But if u r just dreaming about possibilities, u have some more thinking to do. Or better, try it and ud change ur mind.

Anonymous said...

I hapenned to have sampled all menus across Kenya. As said severally, This thing is higly individual.For instance the best i kulad is a Kuyo...and you guessed right.....The worst was still a Kuyo.Not to say the Kao was too good either!In either case it depends on both of you to make it work.Nothing to do with tribe :-)

Anonymous said...

Lisemwalo lipo na kama halipo laja!!!

Anonymous said...

This is total bullshit!! stereotyping and load of cheap talk. kila soko lina wendawazimu wake!!!

Anonymous said...

kiyks r dead men in bed.they cum in 2 minutes

Anonymous said...

Its not good to dismiss a whole group coz of an individual case. For me am a kiuk man married to a pokomo girl, I tried a kyuk lady before, she wasn't exciting but maybe it was psychological coz of what i used to hear about them, I never tried another one coz my wife got my button. I believe couples need to discuss about their sexual life and its possible to enjoy sex life wit your partner regardless of tribe or race

Anonymous said...

Everyone knows Kikuyu men are pathetic in the bedroom. Wako maziwa lala sana! To make matters worse, these niggers actually think that they are good in bed. They are also rarely endowed. Very small machines they do possess.
A Kikuyu guy I dated had this big misconception that his manhood was so big but in reality it looked like the top of a Bic biro.
I can bet Kikuyu women are not the problem, it's their men. Am speaking from experience and hearsay from primary and secondary sources.

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