You Missed This EXTRA

Who Killed Kumekucha?

2011-10-09T22:45:00.000-07:00

It pays big time to be paranoid. More so when you are involved with the dirtiest trade on earth called politics. In the early days of the Kumekucha blog I took a lot of trouble to craft a fall back plan in the event that somebody would cripple Kumekucha in some way. I even considered the possibility that somebody would assassinate this blogger.

The result is that a number of things were done and I will mention just two. Firstly we created a second Kumekucha site whose only difference in address was the number “1” in front of Kumekucha i.e. Kumekucha1.blogspot.com. The second thing we did was to enable full access to the blog by a few other individuals scattered across 4 continents of the world. This second step meant that the blog would be able to continue even if somebody eliminated the founder.

As the years went by, I started thinking that perhaps I had been too paranoid. But here we are today, on the fall back site of Kumekucha.

So who wants to kill Kumekucha? What are they afraid of? What particular information are they so determined to keep away from the public domain? I answer this question in great detail in my latest issue of raw notes, (how to get that hot issue of my raw notes) however in this post I will give a few pointers.

The stakes for 2012 are much higher than most Kenyans will ever realize. To make matters worse Kenyans are now in permanent shock which makes it difficult for most of us to access and digest the true gravity of the information that we receive. There has been so much shocking news bombarding Kenya in the media in recent times that many have adjusted to the mode of absorbing shocks. And so what would ordinarily be very disturbing news no longer moves most. This kind of situation is very dangerous.

Why are the stakes so high in 2012?

It should be obvious. We have a new constitution that is the process of being fully implemented. But even in its’ current form it should already have had many more casualties than is the case currently. Indeed what is keeping quite a number of very powerful people out of jail is only one thing and one thing alone. And that is the current government. We have a new constitution being steered and handled by the old guard. The masters of impunity. Simply put, the minute the government changes hands to a new order, will be the beginning of the end of some of the most prominent and respectable names known to the Kenyan society today.

These guys will not go down without a fight. And these people are also very much aware of the fact that Kumekucha is widely used as a point of reference by many and a lot of the compromising information on them is available nowhere else but here in Kumekucha.

Then there are some presidential hopefuls running out of time. Some of their close aides will stop at nothing and I mean nothing to make sure that their man ends up in State House in 2012. As you read this former aide to PM Raila Odinga, Miguna Miguna is writing a book that will shake Kenyan politics like it has never been shaken before. Even those Kenyans who are no longer moved by devastating news will be moved by the contents of this book.

Impeccable sources have told this blogger that the main thrust of the book will be to expose Raila Odinga like never before. I have been very reliably informed about some of the details in Miguna’s book and all I can say for now is that folks will never look at the PM in the same way again. But that is a story for another day.

As the 2012 elections draw ever nearer, Kenyan politics is about to sink to the lowest gutters of dirt. What we will start witnessing will make the past look like some kids at play. Oh yes! The shutting down of the Kumekucha site is just the beginning, a sign of things to come. We will even start to see rampant political assassinations (predicted on Kumekucha for a long time).

We at Kumekucha have started taking precautions and even as you are on this alternate blog today, we are making arrangements to rescue the original kumekucha and to also greatly enhance our security. We hope that Kenyans will support us in this noble endeavour.

Find out how you can support Kumekucha and secure its’ future today.

Can you help Kumekucha survive?

2011-10-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

Since our inception in 2005 Kumekucha has been at the forefront of Kenyan politics and fighting for change. Most analysts say that the impact this blog has had is sigificant. The truth is that there is no other blog with information that is as explosive as what is contained in Kumekucha.

Little wonder that some people are now very determined to shut down this blog for good. In fact they have succeeded so far because in the last 10 days or so Kumekucha has been inaccessible.

I am now making a personal appeal to all friends of Kumekucha to help me rescue this blog and enhance our security against future attacks that are sure to come. I will be happy to receive donations of any amount towards this worthy cause.

Since inception in 2005 I have never asked for financial help from my readers, not even when I was on the run for my life. But now I have no other option but to ask all noble friends of Kumekucha to chip in what they can. It will be deeply appreciated.

Send your Mpesa donations to my Kenyan representatives' phone 0701 333112. If you are outside Kenya use Paypal to send your donations to strongwallafrica@yahoo.com

HOW TO ORDER MY RAW NOTES
Another great way to donate to Kumekucha is to order my raw notes to discover the people behind the current woes of this blog as well as receive all the hot back issues ever produced of raw notes.

Send only Kshs 990 to subscribe to 50 issues of raw notes (1 year) Mpesa the Kshs 990 to my Kenyan representatives' phone 0701 333112. If you are outside Kenya use Paypal to send your $15 to strongwallafrica@yahoo.com.

So You Think Ruto Is Winning At The Hague?

2011-10-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

My information on the ground is that there has been plenty of anxiety from Kenyans following the proceedings at the Hague last week with many feeling that the possibility of the charges being confirmed and going to trial for Eldoret North MP William Ruto were pretty slim.

Legal experts are of course of a different opinion. What wins or loses cases is solid evidence and not articulate lawyers playing to the gallery and what Bwana Ocampo has on Ruto specifically is water tight.

Sources on the ground tell this blogger that Uhuru Kenyatta is a very worried man and is looking to use the opportunity his legal team has had of analyzing the other cases before it is the turn of their client to take to the dock, to come up with a legal strategy that will win the day. Again this is bound to be an uphill task for the son of Jomo who seems fairly sure that he can easily be the next president of Kenya in 2012 if this annoying Hague thing can go away.

All in all what should be of great interest to Kenyans are the revelations that will come out when and if these matters proceed to a full trial. Some of the bombshells will make the oath-taking look like real kindergarten stuff.

Unique Business Ideas In Education

2011-10-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

Anybody who has been in business for any length of time knows how valuable business ideas are, especially if they are pretty unique. One idea can change everything. A brilliant business idea whose time has come can take off with limited capital injection and fly on its’ own to such dizzying heights that did not even exist in your wildest dreams.

If you are looking for business ideas in education then this is the article for you. If you are still not sure what kind of business idea you are looking for, then this article is still a pretty good start. Hopefully by the end of it you will be brimming with possible ideas you can implement right away. If not we will direct you to a place where you can get more help.

Education and especially the education of youngsters is a lucrative field to venture into where it is difficult to go wrong. More so if you take advantage of problems in learning that have emerged due to modern living. Experts will tell you that the attention span of kids has reduced dramatically and continues to reduce all the time. It is such a serious problem when you cannot hold the attention of those you are teaching long enough to impart the basics.

And yet learning should be fun for it to be effective. If you are one of those folks who believe that you don’t have to enjoy a subject to learn plenty about it, just look at your own life and you will quickly realize that you tend to be good at the thing you love. Stuff that you have such fun doing that it isn’t work.

The world has become a very competitive small village and chances of doing well at anything are almost nil if you are anything less than brilliant at it, whatever it is.

And so by making education fun for kids, you will be altering destinies and having a huge impact on the young lives you touch. There are few things that are closer to the hearts of parents than the education of their children and most will have no problems reaching for the wallets or credit cards to spend on something that will give their young ones a little help.

So if you are looking for business ideas that will put plenty of cash into your bank account and at the same time make you feel fulfilled, then education is the field to target and go for. Indeed competition here is pretty limited and the market and opportunities are huge. And it hardly matters where in the world you are.

All you need to do is find an idea that makes learning more fun. Anything that turns boring class subjects into exciting adventures for youngsters is gold in your purse. Guaranteed!!

Looking for a limitless bank of brilliant business ideas?

Brilliant Business Idea: Low-cost CCTV Using a Website

2011-09-18T00:54:00.000-07:00

Security is a very big issue in Kenya and most parts of the world just now and the situation is bound to get only worse in the foreseeable future. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that many Kenyans have taken to electronics and technology to help protect their property and lives. The only big draw back is the cost. And that is why this idea is sure to take off like a rocket headed for the moon.

These days there are very cheap cameras around (using the same technology as those cheap webcams people have on their PCs.). It will not be too difficult to install these tiny cameras that are supposed to be concealed for maximum effect, and then linking them to a website. Your clients will have access to monitoring their locations by signing into the website. By linking to a website the cost of CCTV comes down dramatically because they don’t need wiring and TV screens on site. It also means that your profit margin can be much higher.

To ensure that your clients still have access even when there is a power outage, advice them to purchase laptops (which can easily stay on for an hour after the power has gone) and then also invest in a small car battery and inverter to provide power for longer periods of power outage. This is important because criminals may sabotage the electricity so as to avoid detection. They have done this in many instances.

Selling System
This is the kind of idea that you can break the bank with and you should not charge too little for it. So these selling systems are NOT designed for those who will charge way too little for it.

a) Install cameras for free at the clients you have targeted. Obtain permission for this and then give them a brief demonstration your fee for the service etc. then book another appointment for a week later to come and remove your camera unless they sign up.
b) Co-ordinate with police stations and get reports of burglaries and break ins in the area where you are seeking clients. Visit these locations to offer your sympathy and condolences and your offer of free CCTV for a week after which the clients will have to either pay for the service or you take away your cameras.

This is just one out of the 101ideas contained in the book 101 Brilliant Business That Will Thrive In Kenya.

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Grab a free sample of the business ideas book NOW.

Panty revenge and ODM versus PNU politics

2011-08-19T06:41:00.002-07:00

While many Kenyans are preoccupied with politics and the battle of wits between ODM and PNU, little do they realize that there are other battles being fought in some homes and workplaces in the country with the kind of venom that would make our political battles look like very cheap stuff indeed.

A case in point is a young woman who recently received a cell phone call from the enraged wife of the married man she is moving around with but decided to teach her rival a lesson that she will not quickly forget.

Seductress Nzisa (PNU)

Sources at the woman’s workplace told this blogger that the woman who is strikingly beautiful and still in her twenties placed her panties in the glove compartment of a car belonging to the man she was moving around with knowing very well that his wife would find them. Apart from being her lover, the man is also her boss at the school where the woman works.

But let me start the story from the beginning.

Benson Mwoki (not his real name) has been married to his wife Elizabeth for over 15 years now and despite their ups and downs, financially the marriage was not doing too badly. Both the man and his wife voted Kalonzo Musyoka in the last general elections.

Trouble however started when the NGO Mwoki had launched about 2 years ago suddenly started taking off like the proverbial rocket. The NGO is supposed to educate disadvantaged children living in slum areas and its’ main project is a school. However it is packed with children from middle class families who pay school fees. In other words Mwoki receives money from donors but also charges school fees at his school. He then takes many photographs which he sends to his donors to show what transformation the project has brought about to poor needy children.

Nzisa (PNU) is in her 20s and strikingly beautiful: She decided to teach ODM a lesson

Mercifully he admits only a handful of genuinely needy children to the school to keep his costs down and his profits up. Rumour has it that he usually tells his donors that he puts more cash into the school from his own pocket than what he receives from his sponsors, a blatant lie of course. That must impress the hell out of those mzungus who keep on sending money every month which goes directly into his pocket and is channeled mostly in the direction of his new found sweetheart, Nzisa while his wife of many years and his two daughters continue to eat sukuma wiki and isyo (maize and beans) daily.

Employees at the school have told this writer that they have no doubt how Nzisa got the job in the school. They say she offered “her assets” which confused Mwoki and enabled her to start on a very high salary. The employees add that she then made a trip to Kitui and came back with a powerful love portion or Kamotee, which mesmerized the previously responsible family man Mwoki into setting up a home with her and her four year old daughter from another liaison. What saddens employees of Mwoki’s school is that Mwoki does not even have proper sofa sets at the house of his first and genuine wife Elizabeth and yet the two sets of sofas at Nzisa’a house look like they are from State House, Nairobi

So let us call Nzisa PNU since hers is an illegal government because Mwoki elected Elizabeth (ODM) long time ago by a land slide that was more than the ODM win in 6 provinces.

So when PNU received a call from ODM demanding that she return the “stolen government,” she was caught unawares. But when she had recovered she told ODM a thing or two warning her to never call the number again. She got carried away so that she was shouting at the top of her voice. When the call was abruptly ended on the other side, she realized that all the staff members in the school were staring at her. PNU, her co-workers told this blogger, does not like losing face. She hates it with a capital “H” and so she decided to teach ODM a lesson that she would quickly not forget.

She secretly took one of her own panties and put them in the glove compartment on the front seat of Muoki’s car. But not before wiping herself in the critical area after one of her regular passionate liaisons with Mwoki. ODM of course found them because that is the very seat she used to seat on every morning as her husband dropped her to work and the children to school. Incidentally these days she sits at the back seat of the car on the few occasions that she is carried in the vehicle and never dares to open the glove compartment.

On discovering the rather “smelly” evidence, ODM of course angrily confronted her husband who had been denying everything up to this point, with the “evidence” and for her efforts received a thorough beating from Mwoki. ODM ran away back to her parents for about 2 weeks but decided to come back for the sake of her children,

Our sources tell us that ODM has been heard telling her friends that she has completely ruled out any possibility of their ever being a grand coalition with PNU and would rather die first. Some Kenyan men have been known to form grand coalitions where all their wives are accommodated under the same roof.

HOW TO ORDER MY RAW NOTES

2011-08-10T00:04:00.000-07:00

Order my raw notes NOW to discover the people behind the current woes Kumekucha as well as receive all the hot back issues ever produced of raw notes.

Send only Kshs 990 to subscribe to 50 issues of raw notes (1 year) Mpesa the Kshs 990 to my Kenyan representatives' phone 0701 333112. If you are outside Kenya use Paypal to send your $15 to strongwallafrica@yahoo.com.

P.S. My raw notes contain the kind of information that is so hot that I always fear for my personal security. New subscribers will instantly get access to all these back issues and discover for themselves exactly what I am talking about here.

Can You Find Hidden Profits in Your Business?

2011-06-20T02:12:00.000-07:00

What really makes the difference between a really profitable business and one that never comes anywhere near its’ full potential? I will give you a clue; it is something that Google does... a lot.

The difference I am talking about is simply this; there are those entrepreneurs who are constantly trying out new things and there are those who are terrified of risk—any small risk. In my time I have met many of the latter type. Such people have no business being entrepreneurs if you ask me and indeed many of them no longer are. Those who are still in it are limping along 20 years later. I have also met a few of the former type, actually they are very few. Too few true entrepreneurs.

Admittedly if you are reckless enough to keep on trying new things on your already profitable business you are bound to fail many times and naturally this is very embarrassing. Indeed if you carefully examine Google, you will discover that it has had very spectacular failures in its’ continued “reckless” efforts to always try out new things.

But out of every 99 “reckless” failures comes one spectacular success that cancels the failures and gives you untold wealth and profits. Oh yes, it happens all the time. And that, you can be sure of. The problem here is that most folks who call themselves entrepreneurs don’t have the stomach for those 99 failures. In fact you should ask yourself a simple question; have you tried out 99 new things in your online business over the last year? Over the last 5 years? Okay that is too many. Have you tried out half that number? 25 per cent of that number? That is precisely my point and it is the reason why there are not too many Googles around.

Consider that Google is a $US100 billion company that did not exist barely 12 years ago. Here is what the founders Sergey Brin (37) and Larry Page (38) had to say in September 2003 in a talk they gave to hundreds of Israeli students at a high school in Israel.

“Have a healthy disregard for the impossible… You should try to do things that most people would not.” –Larry Page.

“The only way you are going to have success is to have lots of failures first.”
-Sergey Brin

Google is not a $US 100 billion company for nothing and they have done a lot of interesting “reckless” things. The propensity to take risk on one hand and the fear to risk anything is the huge difference between entrepreneurs who limp along and those who reach the moon.

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Interested in finding Hidden profits in your business?

Article Marketing Strategy During A Recession

2011-06-19T02:17:00.000-07:00

Things are usually very difficult during a recession. For starters everything becomes that much more difficult meaning that you have to dramatically multiple your efforts to get the same results you got before the recession came calling.

Multiplying your efforts in most cases will also mean multiplying your budget and the money you spend on your article marketing campaigns. For instance if you usually use the services of a ghost writer to generate your articles it means that you will have to pay them much more to do many more articles for you to get the same results.

The good news is that with the right article marketing strategy less effort will yield more for you… even in the worst of recessions. It may be hard for you to believe but you can get the same results during a recession with less articles than the ones you were using before the recession came. No kidding.

There is really just one simple thing you must include in your article marketing strategy.

You must have a system for harvesting email addresses from your articles.

Each article you produce in your article marketing campaign will get read by a handful of your targeted audience. If they are not ready to buy whatever it is that you are selling right away or are for some reason not fully convinced, you will have lost them for life.
This is why it is absolutely crucial that you find a way to harvest their email addresses. When you do this simple thing, everything changes dramatically. It means that most of the readers your articles get, no matter how few, will end up in your email list of prospects and you will keep in touch with them regularly. The more you familiarize yourself with them, the more willing they will be to purchase from you whatever it is that you are selling.

How do you legally get their email addresses? By simply offering them something valuable like a free report, an ebook or even a user’s manual for your product or service that they will receive regularly via email. Even frequent updates of your special offers can prove to be valuable to your target audience depending on your industry and the product we are talking about.

While it is true that it is a lot of hard work to maintain a list of prospects that you regularly send out emails to, the simple solution is an auto responder which automates most of the process. There are free auto responders out there that can do amazing things for you.

This is the most important single thing you will ever do in your article marketing strategy.

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Looking for more Article marketing strategy secrets?

Article Marketing Strategy: The Email Secret

2011-06-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

Did you know that your email account contains a powerful article marketing secret that is capable of having a major impact on your online promotional and marketing efforts?

Imagine for a moment that you were a salesperson for the product you want to promote using article marketing. One of the most effective ways to sell is to master the conversation you usually have with prospects in the selling process. These conversations contain stuff like the questions your prospects usually ask before they buy and the objections they raise before they finally make a purchase. Obviously they will only make a purchase after you have successfully put their doubts to rest. Because the truth is that no prospect will buy from you when they still have some misgivings, doubts or unanswered questions.

For an online business this fascinating conversation goes on via email. If you have a business then you usually receive plenty of emails from prospects. The emails will ask questions that are not clear on your website, doubts that your prospects have about what your product can do for them and so on. In your email outbox will be the answers that you give to your prospects and customers. This is without doubt a gold mine that most people who use articles to market their businesses often ignore. But at least a few smart webmasters use these questions and answers to update their FAQ (Frequently asked questions) section on their websites.

This is the perfect section of a website to start your article marketing from. Especially if you want to sell more from doing less writing of articles. I have had experiences in the past where a single article created from frequently asked questions has sold a promoted product beyond my wildest expectations.

The longer your business has been around the more “conversations” you are bound to have in your email account which means you should be able to generate more articles But even if your business is new take heart because we are talking about getting a lot of traffic and clients from writing less articles than folks usually write. In other words you don’t need very many articles to start enjoying the fruits of your article marketing. You can create your own FAQ section even before you start having real customer enquiries. This can be done by anticipating what your customers concerns will be.

Articles are much more powerful than most folks realize and if written using the powerful marketing strategy revealed in this article you will without doubt end up very pleasantly surprised about the results.

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Write less for much more traffic.

The best protection for your hard-earned cash

2010-10-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

The United States Gold Bureau has to be the best dealer with competitive precious metals prices. They have a large and dedicated staff of hard asset professionals committed to serving your precious metals investment needs.

This is the place to buy gold coins as a wise investment for your hard earned cash. There is no doubt that Gold has stood the test of time as a solid and reliable investment to make. It is much wiser to keep your cash in gold because it is easily convertible to hard cash and protects your earnings from today’s unpredictable inflation and other factors that work to erode the value of what you already have.

A small business turnaround executed without injecting a single cent in more capital

2010-07-24T11:58:00.000-07:00

The two principal shareholders of the small business stared back at me in disbelief as I calmly explained the simple rescue plan we would use to turnaround their ailing small business. Exhaustion and desperation were written all over their faces and in a way I felt pity for them.

The pair had already lost a small fortune in just one year of operation. The only reason why they had not shut down the damned thing was that they were hoping for some miracle that would recover at least half their life savings. Yes they had sunk in all their life savings in this floundering small business.

But then theirs is the story of hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs the world over who continue to launch thousands of new magazines every year without the very special skills that are required to run this complex and yet potentially profitable business. Others launch a small business with every kind of system except a simple selling system to constantly generate sales which is the lifeblood of any business.

Taking stock of the small business I was supposed to help rescue, I quickly came to the realization that all they had left at this bankrupt magazine now was a small demoralized sales team ready to quit the moment they found jobs elsewhere. No reporters, no writers, no budget to get good writers on board. How do you rescue a magazine without quality content and without funding? It can actually be done with a selling system.

I quickly called a meeting and tried to inspire the shabby remnant, assuring them that the magazine was now in good hands and that things would improve. Luckily they did not sense the cold fear creeping up my spine nor did they seem to realize that I had already broken into a cold sweat. In business there are no guarantees – you win some and you lose others. What right did I have to make all these promises? What if I failed in this assignment?

I proceeded to swiftly train the handful of sales people and changed them from advertising sales persons into “reporters”. They were to go out and gather information.

Gather information!? When you need revenue so badly? Actually the first step to turn around any business is to gather lots of information. But let’s see how it panned out with the small business magazine.

The information gathering was part of a simple system I had quickly designed consisting of the following steps,

1) “Reporter” calls up a potential client and books an appointment for an interview.

2) I accompany them to the interview and I do both a thorough and professional job of it.

3) After the interview, we make an editorial decision whether the material merited a feature article in the magazine or not. And if it did whether the story would end up being positive or negative. (Any publisher will tell you that bad news sells much better than good news.)

If it merited a positive story, we would go ahead and write the story and then later approach the same client to book an advertisement so as to get a double maximum impact in the same issue. Alternatively they would have their advertisement appear in a future issue.

4) If the story was negative we would avoid approaching the source to place an ad in the magazine. We would instead go ahead and write our big story with a little additional research from other sources. The reporter would then approach a competitor to the business in question (who was not in the same mess) for a brief comment and an advertisement to take advantage of the focus on the industry
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5) Other times an interviewer supplied us with a tip to pursue another company or organization for a lead story, which we would also do.

Using this simple system that maximized on the meager resources that were available, we literally killed two birds with one stone. The advertising space sales team were able to get very good quality leads for advertising sales and turned most of them into much needed solid sales. The big secret here is that they were able to use the writer’s interview session to build rapport with the client/news source.

Secondly, in the process we were able to do quality research work for all the stories we carried in the business magazine which improved our readership and the confidence of advertisers as well on the quality of the monthly business publication.

This was of course combined with some careful house-keeping where we kept a very careful eye on costs by designing a system that would monitor costs on a daily basis. Within 8 weeks the magazine was making a profit and in one year, if you came calling, you would not believe it was the same previously dying magazine.

Magazines can be very profitable. They can also be huge cash drains. It all depends on you doing the following;
- Creating workable systems for generating revenue through selling advertising and other systems for generating revenue from subscription and single copy sales. The systems you create must be so simple that the staff training required will be minimal.
It’s as simple as that. And that’s exactly how I turned around an ailing small business.
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You can read another extremely useful small business turnaround article by the same author.

Turnaround any small business with this big secret

2010-07-21T22:23:00.000-07:00

I have seen it so many times over the years that it is almost boring now. Sales of the small business dry up and the owner gets increasingly desperate but they either run around like a headless chicken doing all the wrong things at the same time. Or they just sit around doing nothing. Either reaction has exactly the same result. The business continues to slowly but surely sink like the leaking Titanic in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. And it does not matter whether you are talking about a bricks and mortar business or an online enterprise the scenario is usually exactly the same.

And yet most of these small businesses can be saved and completely turned around into profitability. It is all so simple that it pains me why there has to be so much pain and suffering and losses as small businesses with great potential go down when they could have been so easily saved.

The easiest surest way to turnaround any small business is to create a winning selling system that will start generating sales and revenues for the small business. It is like injecting blood into a dying man who has lost way too much blood, usually the recovery after the blood transfusion is almost instantaneous.

What is this selling system thing and why is it so effective in turning around any ailing business?

Almost any work can be systematic. "Systems" are how the military makes it look so easy to manage so many people and organize them into a ferocious fighting machine that wins wars. Systems are how good work gets done. Highly successful household names like McDonald's did not grow to what they are today by hiring people and then asking them to get the job done the best way they know how. Actually what McDonald's did was to carefully document systems that worked best for the business. The result is that it is simple for virtually anybody to duplicate the system and become successful at the business. It is simply a matter of working the system – if it is a good system it will respond and give you miraculous results.

You can imagine that this is even more crucial when it comes to the most difficult aspect of running any business. And that is selling whatever it is that you sell. Anybody who has ran any business for any length of time will know how difficult it is to generate leads and then find a way to convert them into actual sales. This is exactly what a selling system does for a small business.

Actually a good working selling system should constantly generate new leads and then gradually process them by moving them along a process until they are ready to buy. If you have designed a good selling system it should work like clockwork.

Even if your business is not doing badly, you need a selling system to take you to the next level. There are various ways to come up with one. For instance you can study the most successful companies in your industry and discover the selling systems they have adopted for their success. Always remember that success is never an accident.

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My ebook "How I turned around my ailing small business in 7 days flat" is packed with turnaround small business tips that are guaranteed to work and you can get it free if you visit the page right away.

Dark Secrets of the Kenyan presidency

2010-06-02T22:23:00.000-07:00

Back of the book

Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency explores the office the presidency through some rarely-told (and some never-before-told) incidences surrounding this bigger than life office created by Jomo Kenyatta and the founders of the Kenyan nation. “This thing” they created grew and became an enormous un-tameable beast that has caused untold distress, suffering and death to Kenyans.

Kumekucha’s account is mostly angry and dissects this subject ruthlessly without fear or favour. The tone is very much that one of his blog which has received worldwide attention sometimes in praise and at other times in condemnation but is certainly a blog that cannot be ignored. The result here is a thought-provoking account that will forever change your views about this all powerful office which has the kind of powers under the constitution Kenyans have lived with for decades that would be the envy of any god.

The Kumekucha blog was launched in May 2005 by a blogger who only reveals his first name, Chris. The site continues to shape political opinion for many Kenyans locally and spread all over the world. This is the first in a series of books that will be published from information researched and written by the blogger known to his adoring readers and sharp critics alike as Chris Kumekucha.

What others have to say about it...

Interesting read. -Nairobi engineer-

It was too short. You left me hanging and craving for more. I sensed there was much more you would have said.
-Joel O.-

Good Book -via sms from John Githongo close to midnight-

Plenty I didn't know about Moi and Kenyatta so that Kibaki chapters looked rather thin in comparison. Was it lack of research or were you scared? - Owen-

Thanx Chris. The best political read I have had in a long time. -Avid Kumekucha fan-

I will give you the good and the bad and I will be brutal. The bad: the book is too brief, I spotted a few typos, you should have left out the Moi bedroom stuff. The good: I thought I understood Kenyan politics until I read this book, I honestly couldn't put it down so your pace is good, there is so much I didn't know about the presidency. Final verdict on a scale of 0 to 10 I would give your book 7. -Molly-

Chris, you'd better not be writing this from Kenya. -Concerned Kumekucha fan-

I have just finished reading Dark secrets of the presidency. I think you are an idiot Chris. This is a potential best seller and you are not advertising it. You can go on sleeping on a gold mine as you get cheered by immature youngsters in your Kumekucha blog. -Deleted comment left by an annonymous reader in Kumekucha blog-

(Kindly add your comment below. ONLY after reading the book)

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Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency is available for Kshs 1,350 or $19. The digital version is available for 999 ($15) and can be delivered to your email in minutes.

BUT you can also get the entire book for FREE in email format. Just fill in your name and email address below.

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Do you have problems getting lots of quality traffic to your site?

2010-04-24T03:34:00.000-07:00

Anybody can launch a new website. It is so easy. And that is why we have so many websites that never receive any traffic. Meaning that their owners wasted all that cash for nothing. Some top web designers in Nairobi these days charge as much as Kshs 300,000 for a single website.

Any web expert will tell you that for your site to get traffic you need articles and quality content on it. And it needs to be written by a SEO (search engine optimization) expert so that it gets you plenty of traffic from Google. Google? Yes, that is where people start their search for anything they are looking for online, including the services and products you have on offer on your site. Well over 100 million people use Google daily!!! Yep!! 100 million!! Daily!!

Now there is a very simple solution where you can do everything for yourself. It is very simple to learn the tricks of the trade and get lots of traffic to your site. To start with you can get all the traffic-generating content you need for your site for FREE!

Get all the details HERE

Use free online advertising creatively to dramatically increase traffic to your blog

2010-03-26T01:25:00.000-07:00

With effective free online advertising available on the web, it really is strange that so many bloggers still complain about lack of traffic. How do you expect to sit there doing nothing but complaining and grumbling and yet still expect to receive substantial online traffic? It just doesn’t work that way.

You really don’t have an excuse because the online advertising we are talking about here is FREE. So all you need to do is spend a little time posting free ads at the right places.

But for starters do make sure that regular visitors to the place where you are posting your free ad are your target audience or prospective clients for whatever it is that you are selling on your site. A new emerging trend where high traffic blogs allow free ads is interesting because you are guaranteed that the blog gets regular and frequent traffic since most of them tend to update content and create new posts almost daily. Secondly it will be very easy to verify the audience based on the content of the blog.

Start by summarizing the most interesting features on any particular post on your blog. Start with a very catchy headline because if that doesn’t attract interest nobody will read beyond that. Use a http://tinyurl.com or http://is.gd shortened url address to direct folks to your blog post. This shortened url is not hyperlinked and people will have to cut and paste it on a new window to access your blog. The most effective free online advertising blog I know does NOT allow you to create a hyperlinks in your ad pointing to your site. Which is just as well because this has SEO implications and Google discourages paid links in a blog corrupting the count of real organic links generated naturally pointing to the blog. Although you will not have paid for your ad in the blog, it is an ad all the same and Google will quite rightly assume that it may have been paid for.

You can go a step further and search for all blogs that would find your blog content relevant and then post genuine comments and refer readers to your blog post using a http://tinyurl.com or http://is.gd shortened version of your blog page address.

It is quite possible to built huge traffic to your blog using only this single free online advertising method.

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Use this popular blog to test your proposed free online advertising campaign. This blog receives visitors from all over the world. Majority are based in North America and the United Kingdom. Plus read about the real free online advertising secret behind the Google billions

Free Online Advertising: The real secret behind the Google billions

2010-03-24T04:24:00.000-07:00

Many people still don’t quite understand why Google has been so successful with their online advertising business.

Let me give you a hint by repeating a great marketing truth here. Here it is:

People will mostly buy when they are ready to buy.

Just think for a moment about a recent purchase you made worth at least $500 or more. It is unlikely that you did it as a result of being pushed or pressurized by some pestering salesperson. Chances are that you decided it was time to make the purchase and you purchased from the place you had easiest access to. It is that simple.

Now how have Google used this great marketing truth to make billions from PPC ads?

Thank you, I never thought you would ask. Here is the answer.

Google invented PPC (pay per click advertising). The whole idea behind the ads placed next to search engine results was to make them relevant. Yep!! RELEVANT. Meaning that for instance people searching for affordable laptops on the Google search engine would see ads next to the search results advertising affordable laptops and nothing else. Chances were that somebody searching for information on affordable laptops was looking to buy and were ready to buy. So the ads selling laptops would be very relevant.

And because it was relevant it would be welcomed as valuable information. Advertise the same thing on search results for affordable used cars and you would end up upsetting them with the same information that others find valuable. Actually there is a name online for unsolicited irrelevant information. It is SPAM. And in many parts of the world it is a criminal poffence to SPAM people. That is how upset folks get.

Now all this sounds obvious but the truth is that it isn’t. Most people are more interested in how many people will get to see their advertisement and will only ask about the target audience later. The Google guys realized early that relevance is much more important than hits and it is better to have your ad in a site where only 10 people see it and yet they are 10 people looking for what you are advertising and mostly ready to buy right away, than it is to have your ad on a site where one million people will end up seeing it.

It is that simple.

And so the way to make free online advertising work for you is to make sure that the people who read the site where you are posting your advertisement are the people you are targeting. If they are then chances will be higher that they will be ready to buy which will dramatically improve the response you get from your free online advertisement.

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Interested in testing your advertisement at a popular blog allowing free online advertising? What’s more is that they do NOT require any registration.

Does free online advertising work?

2010-03-24T03:30:00.000-07:00

Free online advertising usually sounds too good to be true. Place a couple of ads online for FREE and get a better response than you would from paid advertising? That can’t be true. Fairy tales don’t happen in the real world do they?

Actually free online ads have changed many people’s lives. Have you heard of Craigslist? I know several people who make a living on advertisements posted at this popular free classified ads site.

But if you are looking for a catch, there is one. You need to know exactly the right words to use in your advertisement. And to do that you must have a pretty good idea of the kind of people who read the free online advertising site that you intend to use. If you get these two things right then free online advertising may be all you need to get thousands of qualified leads and customers for your business.

So how do you get an idea of the kind of people who read the ads at the free classified ads site that you intend to post your ad at? Read the ads already posted for starters and if there is any content you can read that too. This will give you a very good idea of the interests of the folks who visit that site and who will end up seeing your advertisement. This is very important because folks online are in a hurry and only have time for what they are interested in visiting the particular site they have landed in. Anything irrelevant or unrelated will be completely ignored. This is probably the most common mistake made by most people who have failed with free online advertising.

Blogs receive huge traffic and the huge advantage with them is that they are easy to classify and it is easy to determine the kind of readers that visit a particular blog regularly. Just from reading the main posts you will quickly grasp this. Be careful about the comments because the trend across the web is that people get very abusive and even vulgar in their comments. Especially if a blog allows anonymous comments. Still you will quickly find that many blogs that allow anonymous comments have very high traffic indeed. the huge advantage with placing your free ad in Kumekucha is that you will be able to reach thousands of Kenyans instantly.

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Interested in testing your advertisement at the very popular main Kumekucha blog allowing free online advertising? What’s more is that they do NOT require any registration.

Was Karua Raped?

2009-04-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

How things change in politics so that yesterday’s bitter enemy is today’s close ally. Nothing illustrates this better than the relationship between Prime Minister Martha Karua and Prime Minister Raila Odinga.

In the infamous father Wamugunda carjacking incident then Water cabinet minister released her bodyguards and was only accompanied by a Catholic priest, father Wamugunda when carjackers struck. Insider security sources say that in that particular incident the minister was brutally raped which adds credence to the belief that the attack was politically motivated.

Martha is a woman who is as tough as nails and is believed to have quickly brushed aside the horrifying ordeal. If it is true that the minister had a romantic liaison with Father Wamugunda, can you imagine being raped infront of your lover?

At the time Karua and then Roads Minister Raila Odinga were bitter enemies and it is said that Karua made some remarks about her cabinet colleague not being circumcised which greatly irked Raila.

Fast forward to the present and it is no secret that Karua and Raila are constantly in consultation. Political observers insist that it is no accident that Raila’s fallout with Kibaki was quickly followed by Karua’s resignation like a well choreographed musical play.

Sadly it is impossible to confirm the rape ordeal because there are some things Martha simply does not talk about and if you insist you could find yourself in the corridors of the High court (ask Caroline Mutoko and Nyambane). One of those things is her personal life and the carjacking ordeal, I suspect also fits into her strictly-not-to-be-discussed-under-any-circumstances stories.

Related stories;

Violent rape during Matatu carjacking in Nairobi

Mombasa Road rape drama

Horrifying bus rape at Emali: eyewitness' detailed account

A Little Good news for a change: You can now follow Chris as he receives highly sensitive info throughout the day and even get to know posts he is working on well in advance. You can even have a private chat with him. Follow him at Twitter. Find him in Twitter @KumekuchaChris. You will even get to see a photo of him (never before published on the web but will now be visible ONLY to his followers on Twitter). Remember that a lot of the stuff you will read on Twitter will NEVER be published because, as has been said here before, most of the information Kumekucha receives is too hot to publish or takes too long to verify (or is impossible to verify) and can therefore NOT be published. But you will be able to read it all on Twitter. Get to Twitter pronto, get there now and find Kenya's most popular and influential political blogger @KumekuchaChris

Or if you are already a Twitter please click on this link HERE to become a follower of KumekuchaChris right away.

Obama: A Dream come True

2008-11-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

The late American poet Langston Hughes may have foreseen the rise of an African American to the helm of the world’s most powerful country when he penned the powerful words encapsulated in the poem below (which was written many years ago).

AFRICA

Africa,
Sleepy giant,
You’ve been resting awhile.
Now I see the thunder,
And the lightning,
In your smile.
Now I see the storm clouds,
In your waking eyes:
The thunder,
The wonder,
And the new surprise,
Your every step reveals,
The new stride,
In your thighs.

Elsewhere on the Web:

My Son, Take it Slow: Aids is a Rapacious Prowler

Tribalism: Kenya’s Oldest Skeleton in the Closet

Who are Albinos?

Are you as Good as your Word?

Facing Challenges Head-on: The Battle is not for the Self-effacing

“Love”…with an Eye on the Prize!

2008-08-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

I don’t refute the claim that there is true love (and I know many people who are beneficiaries of this bug). But I know there are people who take advantage of people’s feelings in the pretext of “loving” them.

There are some women (and men) who would give their eye teeth to get hooked to a rich white man or woman with a long-term aim of settling abroad. This is very rife in Africa (particularly in Kenya).

The allure of the West has turned into an anthem to every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to bid farewell to penury and (beggary). Many young people have the notion that if they go to the UK or the USA, their lives will change drastically (for the better!)

Most of them have found out that there is no easy way of hastening their steps to the $ and the £, than waltzing their way into the lives of male and female (white) tourists in the hope that they will eventually be whisked to the lands that they have always desired to travel to (and hopefully settle in).

Getting a Visa to countries such as the UK and the USA can prove hard because of the exhaustive (and equally exhausting!) procedures that are involved. But this is no hurdle to these gold digging young men who could traverse the most expansive ocean to get to the lands (and the money & opportunities) they aspire.

They tend to believe that falling in love with their white friends and getting married to them is a sure fire way of circumventing this obstacle. {But is it a solution, really?}

You’d care to see what some of the young men get married to: some very old, (moneyed, yes!), scrawny hags that would pass for anyone’s grandmother or better still, great grandmother!

I call such kind of love: “Love… with an Eye on the Prize!”

Passion, love and anger

2008-08-14T05:23:00.000-07:00

Everybody envies lovebirds. In fact most people have never really been in love and wonder what it is like believing that it is a pleasant experience.

However those in love describe it as bitter-sweet. Meaning that there is the bitter side of it and even the deadly.

Passion can drive people to extreme lengths.

Take the case of John and Anne. The two were in love. It was love that bordered on the crazy because they spent every single moment they could snatch together. Now with love also comes possessiveness. And with possessiveness often come jealousy. Now John started having nightmares than Anne was seeing somebody else secretly.

Finally he blurted it out to Anne one day. Now the problem here is that Anne had an explosive temper and John was very proud. The kind of proud man who would rather die than lose face. And so what was supposed to be a very minor thing blew up into a major disagreement. Anne felt that John was nuts to imagine that she was unfaithful to him when they spent so much time together. Surely where would she get time to even talk to another man? On the other hand John felt that if it was not true then surely Anne would not have been so angry.

The two love birds stormed off in anger. John had expected Anne to soothingly stroke his ego and calm his fears. Instead Anne had exploded in a way that he had not seen before. What followed was a disaster. Anne was so angry that she went off and slept with somebody else. In her rage she told herself that if she had been accused she might as well make the falsehood true. She deeply regretted her actions immediately it was over. But it was too late. As they say, Hasira ni hasara.

John sulked for days and could not think straight. His work suffered and when he was called in by the boss to explain himself, he exploded and started shouting at his employer. This was no government department and he was fired on the spot. To date John and Anne hate each other so much that if they were the only two people left on earth, they would still not speak to each other.

In another case this couple were deeply in love and sadly the woman worked in a far off town. She went out one night and got drunk and slept with somebody else. Sex is powerful and she started having feelings for her one night stand. She could not bear the guilt and broke off her relationship with the man who was so hurt that he quickly got married on the rebound to somebody he had no feelings for. Naturally the consequences of his actions were bound to catch up with him sooner or later and they did.

Oh yes, love and passion can be very deadly and very damaging

Why did long awaited pregnancy turn into a crisis?

Secret of success that should not be a secret

2008-08-14T04:58:00.000-07:00

The most important investment you will ever make in your small business is in yourself. It is rather obvious that the more skills and knowledge you have the better your business will do.

This is why it is very puzzling that most entrepreneurs never bother to enhance and improve their skills and knowledge. How many small business owners will you find at Bookpoint book shop on Moi avenue looking for a good book to help them improve their businesses? Most will say that they don’t have the time. And so they will continue doing the same old things that don’t work expecting different results. We are clearly told that that is the definition of insanity.

Yet the World Wide Web has made things even easier. You can get any information you want online and for free. However a word of caution. You will need to be methodical and have a plan of how you are going to fish out the information you are looking for.

Naturally high on your list of priorities is improving your marketing skills because your ability to find customers will have a very immediate and direct bearing on the survival prospects of your small business.

Actually the truth is that to be able to get all the information you need for free online, will take you lots of patience. And yet as they say time is money. The solution of course is to purchase specialized information that you are sure fits your situation exactly. This is important because there are some things which may work in the US but will flop badly in Kenya. So what you really need is a Kenyan expert who has a track record of success.

The benefits are numerous and include the fact that you will end up saving a lot of time and focusing on your exact needs. That is exactly how folks are using the Worldwide Web to transform their small businesses from struggling mode to big success.

Why not take the time to enroll for an online course that will transform the way you market your business. It is being conducted by a Kenyan marketing expert who has had lots of great successes on the Kenyan market. On enrollment you will receive daily lessons that you can apply immediately to your business. It is a 2 month course (40 lessons) and you will receive each day’s lesson via email. You can also consult with the resource person via email mobile telephone (both networks) and landline as well. He can only accept a small class at a time so register Now. It will cost you only Kshs 1,500 for the full course. You can start right away and pay later when you see for yourself just how useful it is to your business. accepted.

Email now to:- umissedthis at yahoo dot com for details. Put the words “Online Course” in the subject area and your email will be passed on to the expert running the course. You can also learn a lot from this SEO training article.

Excuses men use to dump their girl friends

2008-08-12T02:29:00.000-07:00

Men are strange animals. Essentially they are animals.

Sample this. After a relationship that has lasted a long period of time, a man decides to end it. There are many different reasons why a man can decide to do this. Maybe he has seen somebody else he likes more. Or he is just plain bored with his woman and would like to “free himself” to move on.

Whatever the reason, instead of telling the poor girl that he would like to end the relationship, he starts fishing around for an excuse to end it. Usually it ends up in some sort of accusation. He will say that he does not trust her anymore or that he has evidence that she has had an affair.

This usually works like a dream on unsuspecting women because they will focus o the accusation and it will never cross their mind that the guy is juts fishing around for an excuse. I even know of men who have gone as far as setting up their girlfriends with their men friends and then they turn up right on cue and storm out of the bar or social place saying that they have now seen enough evidence of their girl friend’s infidelity.

Women should especially look out for these tell-tale signs of a man sabotaging a relationship deliberately when they bring up the topic of their long term prospects or marriage. That is when they will see wonders. Some men will tell their girl fiends that their parents don’t like them, when this is a lie. Other times they will claim that their relatives never wanted a woman who is from a different tribe. As if one marries a woman for their relatives.

This is a very serious matter, but I have to admit that in my time I have seen hilarious excuses that men have used to end relationships. Here are some;

- “You don’t know how to cook chapattis and my mum says…..”

- “You are too thin and my parents are wondering if you have Aids.”

- “That kid you got pregnant with in school, my family does not want outside blood in the home.”

- “I love you but my mum says your complexion is too dark.”

- “I love you but you are a PNU supporter.”

- “I love you but you support ODM.”

- “I love you but you earn more money than me and my mum says…”

- “My big brother doesn’t like you.”

The juicy irresistible carrot

British women and their craze for vibrating things

Most people don’t know this common reason for business failure

2008-08-12T02:12:00.000-07:00

Chances are very high that you will read this article and recognize yourself. That is you are the creative type.

It is a known fact that most entrepreneurs are the creative type. Creative people are great at coming up with new things and new ideas. However they have one major flaw. And that is the get bored very easily. They are not the type of people to keep up successfully with routine repetitive things. This is the reason why big businessmen and women thrive, simply because they have the resources to employ others to take care of the dull stuff.

Now the big problem is when a small business is starting out without much in terms of capital and resources. Many businesses that had great potential have failed in this way. The founder hardly realizes that it is the daily repetitive, boring things that have to be done over and over again that make their enterprises successful.

This is also very true for any online business as well as offline businesses.

Chances are very high that the only thing that stands between you and tremendous success is you bracing yourself to do all the repetitive boring stuff that will lift your business to success in due time.

It is a good idea to start with the chores you hate the most earl in the morning and then reward yourself with the stuff that you enjoy, when you are done.

Join a unique online business with a proven success system already in place that guarantees you an income. Limited numbers being accepted. It is FREE to join. Write NOW for details

Signs That She Wants You

2008-08-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

These days there are all sorts of so-called experts literally coming out of the woodwork who are making all sorts of claims and selling their books and information to millions.

Before we examine some of the most controversial of these claims it is useful to look into the reasons why mostly men seem to be so interested in reading the thoughts of their dates.

Evidence suggests that the gap between men and women is widening. Men are getting busier (sometimes watching porn on the web) and as a result are hardly interested in investing the time or being patient enough to learn about the women in their lives. So what they are basically looking for are quick-fixes and one night stands.

Some of these so-called experts claims that if a lady you are dating starts to circle the top of the glass slowly with her fingers, then it is a clear sign that they are interested in sex with you as soon as possible.

They add that if on the first date a lady holds your arm unconsciously, then it means that she is interested in sex soon. However if she holds you anywhere on your legs it means that she wants sex on that same day.

Over to you dear readers, what do you think?

Woman complains about insensitive lovers

Form Simple Habits To Make Serious Money

2008-08-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

Did you know that what makes up your life is your daily routine? Which means that for you to be successful you simply have to find the right daily routine, make it a habit and your success is assured.

Admittedly the big challenge to succeed in any business is therefore to find the right daily routine or the right habits to form. This is not always easy, however when you do find your daily routine, you should make sure that you stick to it and sooner or later the results will start to show. Always remember that it is very rare to get immediate results in anything. You need to be patient. Success takes time.

Let me give you an interesting example. I have a friend who started his business while he was still working for somebody elsewhere. He made special arrangements with his employer to be reporting to work at 9am and leaving at 6pm instead of 5 pm like the others. He was a valued and very productive employee so his boss had no problem accepting his proposal. What he did every morning was report to his business office at 7 pm work for 50 mins and then use the remaining hour making about 2 sales calls. He did that until it became a habit, almost second nature. Now you might not think a mere 2 sales calls a day is a big deal but from this routine the man today has a multi-million shilling business.

So look at your business carefully today and come up with a daily routine and then just make sure that you stick to it. You will be amazed at the results.

Join a unique online business with a proven success system already in place that guarantees you an income. Limited numbers being accepted. Write NOW for details

Are you lovesick?

2008-08-05T01:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been through that bitter-sweet experience of being in love?

It’s quite something. You cannot stop thinking about the other person. They are on your mind the whole day and the whole night too. When you wake up they are the first person you think about. At night you go to sleep with them on your mind. And whenever you meet three tends to be a crowd. You just want to be left alone with each other. It is like nobody else exists in the universe.

Many times, this is simply infatuation which wears off fairly quickly. But what about if it is true love?

It is interesting how most people spend most of their lives dreaming about a true love coming into their lives without giving much thought to the complications that usually accompany that true love. In the end, the lucky few who find love end up with many regrets because of the heartaches and sheer torture that comes with it.

For instance if you are separated by long distances, you really feel the pain that cannot be quenched by long telephone conversations or anything else. Other times due to your partners’ circumstances chances are that your family members will be strongly opposed to you having any relationship with them. Close friends may even strongly advice you against continuing the relationship.

It is interesting how virtually every tale of true love that triumphs is always one of overcoming many obstacles and difficulties before the two people who love each other so much can be together and live happily ever after.

Good luck to all you love-sick folks out there. There is no known cure for true love other than being together for better or for worse, in sickness or in health.

And to those who have not found love yet, think of the complications and difficulties that come with it, the next time you feel lonely.

Woman complains about insensitive lovers

Overcoming Resistance From Would-be Buyers

2008-08-05T01:20:00.000-07:00

Everybody knows that no enterprise anywhere can survive for long without sales. And yet we also know that nobody likes to be sold to.

Just picture this for a minute. You need to buy something and you have made a decision in your mind to buy it. So one day when you are leaving the office, you meet this hawker pushing that item in your face and shouting out a cheap price, urging you to buy. What will your reaction be? Chances are that you will shake your head and refuse to buy. But why? You need the item and besides you are ready to buy, but still you resist.

This happens all the time and it is something that anybody in business must know and understand. The minute you look like you are selling something the natural reaction you will get from most people is resistance.

What this means is that the biggest secret to successful selling is NOT to look like you are selling. Actually the minute you can penetrate this “barrier” that we all surround ourselves with, the minute somebody tries to sell us something, it will become very easy for you to sell anything and your business will make sale and after sale and become very successful. It is really as simple as that.

Overcoming the natural resistance that people have to being sold to is even more important online. This is the reason why the most effective way of selling anything online is NOT by advertising it. The way to do it is by providing useful information.

For instance you may want to purchase a new cell phone but you need one with a good in-built camera. And so you go to Google and do a search for a cell phone with camera and you type the word “Kenya” at the end of the keywords you use. Let us say you end up at this site where they give you the information you are looking for. You read it and at the bottom of the page there is the price that the cell phone is being sold at and information on how to order. Chances are that you will buy that phone. Notice that there is no resistance here because nobody tried to sell you anything, they simply provided you with the information.

And it gets even more interesting. It is possible to provide people with interesting information about a product they have never heard of and chances are that you will be able to easily sell it to them. Find a way of doing this effectively online and you will make some serious money.

Join a unique online business with a proven success system already in place that guarantees you an income. Limited numbers being accepted. Write NOW for details

Lady Beware: What Type Are You To Your Man?

2008-08-04T01:04:00.000-07:00

Ladies should be extremely careful not to be fooled by any man because to a man there are only four types of women and you must fit into one of the four categories.

1. There are those women that a man just wants to sleep with and nothing more.

2. Then there are those women a man would deeply desire to be the mother of his children.

3. Still there are those women a man would love to be seen with to impress his friends and foes, and nothing more.

4. And finally there are those women that on very rare occasions some men fall hopelessly in love with and they stop thinking straight like a normal man.

Don’t hold your breath to the fourth type of woman because it is a very rare thing indeed.

So where do you fall? Many women fall into the first category and are fooled into believing that there is something more in the relationship. What you need to remember is that a man hunting you out will rarely reveal his true intentions unless you are already physically attracted to him and he notices.

To be put into the second category is also not easy. In this regard most men are extremely conservative and sadly will often take advice from close friends when making this decision. That makes it a wee bit difficult for you if you met at some bar in Nairobi. In neighboring Tanzania for instance where a man meets a woman is extremely important and most men believe it is crazy to marry a woman you met at a bar, no matter how beautiful and nice she is. Very old fashioned and the kind of thinking that comes from two centuries ago, I know. But sadly that is the reality.

Many women are unknowingly in the third category. They are like a new car, designed to impress and lift up the image of a man and nothing more. These women get delighted when they are introduced all over the place and mistakenly assume that this means that a long-term relationship is in the offing. In a few cruel instances the man will even introduce them as their future wife. Don’t be fooled.

We will not even discuss he fourth category because it is easier to find Diamonds in Kenya than it is to find true love, but I do know a man who recently proudly told me that the woman in his life fits into all four categories. Some dreamer I guess, kwani what kind of woman is that?

5 women I avoided in bed

Small Business Opportunity Laptop Ideas

2008-08-04T00:54:00.000-07:00

Probably one of the best small business opportunity laptop Ideas involves buying and selling.

Best Small Business Opportunity Laptop Idea: Buy And Sell Your Way To Success
The reason why any business involving buying and selling has to be one of the best small business opportunity laptop Ideas should be pretty obvious. While the net has turned the world into a small village, it is still very difficult to identify local needs and opportunities without physically visiting a place.

No matter how good your contacts on the ground are, more often than not they will not be able to "see" the small business opportunities you seek even if it were to hit them on the face. Your small business can thrive tremendously by you traveling personally to seek opportunities even as your reliable laptop ensures that the day to day running of your site proceeds as usual. And what's more you may not need to visit a place more than once if you make a point of establishing local contacts in the particular industry or trade that your web based business focuses on.

Buying and selling from various different regions and countries is one of the best small business opportunity ideas that any entrepreneur can fully exploit with the help of a good reliable laptop computer.

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Is Your Small Business In Trouble?

2008-08-01T01:12:00.000-07:00

If you are running a small business that is now in trouble, chances are that you are thinking furiously about diversification and are about to launch a different product quite possibly in another field altogether. Diversification is a highly favored strategy for many.

But hold on a minute. Is that the right way to go?

Think about it for a minute. The sun is very powerful but because it spreads its’ rays over a wide area, its’ rays are mostly harmless. Compare that to a laser beam which is many times weaker than the sun. However because all the energy is focused in one place, it is able to cut through metal and even something as hard as a diamond.

There is a great secret behind the power of focusing and there are thousands of stories to be told.

We all know the Coca Cola and Pepsi, two keen competitors in the world soft drinks market. Interestingly Coca Cola has always been the more profitable company. Many experts attribute this to its’ sharp focus on soft drinks. Pepsi on the other hand is a very diversified company that is in many different businesses, many of them are supposed to compliment it’s soft drinks business, like its’ heavy investments in the manufacture of snacks.

Carefully study any business you care to think of and you will quickly realize that companies that have a focus on their core line of business or niche tend to do much better and survive much longer in the market than businesses that have diversified all over the place.

The way to save your small business is to re-focus within the narrow field that your business covers. The solution may be in going for an even tinier segment of the market you are kindly targeting. Less is actually more because you will end up being a specialist in a world that is filled with generalists.

Look at it this way, it is much better to be a big fish in a small pond than it is to be a small fish in the big cruel ocean.

Get 5000 people to see your product or service, you DON’T need a website and its’ ALL FREE
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How Important Is Age Difference In Relationships?

2008-07-31T23:12:00.000-07:00

Visit any dating site and you will quickly realize how important age is to everybody envisaging a relationship with the opposite sex.

It seems that most people have remained pretty conservative in their ideas of how old their other half should be. The man must always be older by a few years, usually not more than 5 is ideal but beyond 10 would be pushing it.

But wait a minute, don’t we know of numerous very successful relationships where the woman is older? I know of these soul mates currently in a very passionate romance that will no doubt end up in marriage that have an age difference of almost 20 years—the man is older.

The truth is that love happens in the most unexpected way and cupid’s arrow does not carefully consider age before flying out into the night.

If this is true then the tragedy of it all is that there are too many lonely people out there who missed to connect with their soul mates because the age issue stood in the way and blinded them from seeing what was meant to be.

Of course the biggest stumbling block here is fear of what people will say. If your girlfriend is much younger than you are then the conclusion will be that she is a gold digger who is after your cash. If a man gets involved with an older woman then everybody will say that he’s after her cash even if she doesn’t have much of it.

However we all know that people have been talking since the beginning of time and they will continue to talk until the sun goes down for the last time. So the question one probably needs to ask themselves is whether they are prepared to let what people say stand between them and happiness. It is really as simple as that.

Older women bring many advantages into a relationship. They are usually more understanding and forgiving. Many men find them more skilled in bed as their experience usually kicks in.

Older men also bring the same plus points into a younger woman’s life. They also generally tend to be much more sensitive than younger men.

Dagoretti father who fell in love with his daughter

Where did you guys meet?

2008-07-31T03:34:00.000-07:00

The world is full of lonely people desperately seeking romance. Don’t even talk about finding soul mates because many have completely given up and don’t believe that soul mates exist.

This is why the topic of where soul mates met is a fascinating one for most of us.

At the office

Interestingly the most common place where those in love have met is the workplace. Working so closely together, numerous office romances have blossomed. Sadly, many times this has happened despite the fact that one of the partners is already married (or otherwise engaged elsewhere). Many times both may be married to other people. Despite this complication, office romances continue to blossom.

At a Wedding

There is little doubt that most single people are thinking “marriage” when they attend weddings. Just the right frame of mind to spot your spouse of the future.

In the Matatu

In a recent very colorful wedding in Eldoret shortly before the post-election violence broke out, the two love birds met in a matatu in Mombasa. Strangely enough it was the woman who asked for the shy man’s cell phone number.

On the web

The World Wide Web has already shot up to number one in terms of the sheer volumes of relationships and marriages that it is responsible for initiating and developing. Tools like Facebook, dating sites, emails and IMs (Instant messaging) have brought (and continue to bring) happiness and marital bliss to hundreds of thousands all over the world.

My sister’s/brother’s best friend

I know of this man who fell in love with his kid sister’s best friend. Needless to say the two girls are no longer on talking terms. They haven’t spoken to each other for over 10 years now. But the marriage is still going strong 20 years later.

In the toilet

If there is any common thread that has clearly come out of my research into this topic, then it is the fact that romance usually happens at the most unexpected places when you least expect it. This guy was really pressed last July (cold weather puts pressure on the bladder for obvious reasons). All the men’s toilets at this building in the city centre where he was at the time, were locked. He desperately tried the doors to the lady’s and it swung open. On his way inside he bumped into this cute young lady who was outraged even as the man rushed past her. She waited for him to finish with the intention of giving him a piece of her mind about his appalling behaviour. Which she did, but ended up falling on love with him. The two have great difficulties when you ask them the simple question; by the way where did you guys meet?

A Night spot

Yes, it still happens at night spots and public social places. Although I am told that Tanzanian men will never marry a woman they met at some drinking place. But I can assure you that this one still works for Kenyans.

In bed

Some couples I know met in bed after sex. Lust leads them there and they end up finding true love after quenching their fires. This method is NOT recommended because it is highly risky, not everybody takes kindly to being asked after sex, “by the way what did you say your name was?”

Famous Kenyan beds mother and her daughter

Business Success: Wild Animals Can Help

2008-07-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

Watching wild animals in Africa hunting for food, is an extremely educative experience for marketers and those who want to dramatically increase their sales. The big cats are especially fascinating in their different hunting methods.

The lion usually has lots of difficulties hunting. This cat is built very big, strong and heavy. The result is that it is no match for the speed and agility of the antelope, its’ favourite meal. So the lion relies on stealth, surprise and the quick short dash – not unlike that of a well-built 100 metres sprinter. The lion’s advantage is in its’ strength which enables it to kill fairly large prey that would give smaller cats like the cheetah a lot of problems.

The cheetah has a totally different hunting method. This cat is light, agile and built for high speeds. No problems catching that small antelope in the herd scampering for safety. But unlike the lion, the cheetah cannot go for bigger prey (more meat) like the zebra or even larger antelopes.

You now fully understand why the lion cannot wake up one morning and decide that since it admires the cheetah’s sheer speed, it wants to hunt like a cheetah - or vice versa.

That should be obvious, should it not be?

Then why is it that businesses make this mistake every day?

The type of selling system (it’s actually a hunting system you know) you choose will depend a lot on what you are. Are you an agile, small young business with no bureaucracy or long-decision making process, not unlike the cheetah? Or are you that larger recently-prosperous-business struggling to maintain enough sales growth to sustain your cash-guzzling overheads, not unlike the lion?

This lesson came down hard on me a few years ago when I created a selling system that surpassed all expectations and grew a small magazine from a circulation of less than 500 copies to 120,000 copies weekly, in a few short months. The simple system employed the use of teaser flyers.

The mistake I made was that whilst basking in the glory of sweet, sensational success, I did not realize that the business had dramatically changed in size and therefore urgently required a NEW drastically different selling system. It was a classic case of the cheetah that grew into a lion but still wanted to hunt like a cheetah.

What system is best suited for your business right now is a critical question you will have to ask and answer if you hope to implement a successful selling system that will make a difference in your business.

Even before you get into something as detailed as a selling system, just looking at popular traditional marketing methods proves that one has to know what is appropriate for them. I have seen many small businesses reap mediocre results from an expensive television advertisement run during prime time. Where the same slot for a larger business would probably have broken the bank.

This is a lesson that’s easy to forget. The remedy? Every time it looks like you are forgetting, just find a way to watch the different wild cats of Africa hunting.

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Deadly Mother-in-laws Part 3 of 3

2008-07-29T22:57:00.000-07:00

How To Deal With A Nasty Mother-in-Law

Does just the word, mother-in-law, spell terror in your life? This woman has assumed mythic proportions wielding criticism, guilt and coldness. When she visits, you feel like the police commissioner has marched into your home. When she interacts with the children, she is evaluating their manners, academic performance and everything – tracing it all back to you!

However, in reality you can dramatically improve the situation simply by understanding one simple thing. You and your mother-in-law are just two women in love with the same man.

When you understand this, all the conflicts and criticisms start to make sense.

Here are some useful advice that has helped other women faced with hostile mothers-in-law;

1. Let your mother-in-law know that she occupies the primary spot in her son’s heart and always will - after all she is his mother.

2. Stop licking your wounds and spring into action. Change the habitual responses and stick to neutral territory. Here are some suggestions to befriend your mother-in-law thereby making your husband and children happier:

* Have a sense of humor - See your life as a sit-com. Look at it from a distance.You laugh at the TV comedy, Everyone Loves Raymond, particularly Marie and Debra’s relationship; try to see the humor in your own relationship with your mother-in-law. Humor goes a long way to defuse hostility.

* Break the pattern of criticism - When your mother-in-law criticizes you, listen calmly for a few minutes then distract her by changing the topic, pulling out some photos of the children, new make-up or a magazine about a subject she’s interested in like gardening, golf or shopping. Get her into grandma mode by having your children sing, perform or show an award they received.

* Reinterpret negatives into positives - Anything can be reinterpreted! Be creative and release the anger. Practice it so often that it becomes a reflex action. For example, if your mother-in-law doesn’t even refer to you by your name, if you don’t even merit a “hey, you,” then reinterpret to, “She’s being sensitive to my needs. It is awkward for her as I am not her daughter. So rather than confront me or offend me, she avoids calling me anything.”

* Affirm your mother-in-law. Compliment the qualities you want to reinforce. Wouldn’t you do this with your child or pet? You don’t want to comment on bad behavior and create the self-fulfilling prophecy.

* Schedule one-on-one time around her interests to do something fun together: a day at the spa, lunch and shopping, visit the new exhibit. Get to know her on a personal level and bond. Ask about her dreams, her career and her past. Knowledge is power!

* Be patient and lower your expectations. Don’t envision an immediate transformation or a Kodak moment of love. You can expect mutual respect and loyalty. One step at a time. It took my mother-in-law twenty years to love me, but she finally came around. Where there is life, there is hope.

3. Get spouse support. Does your husband or wife support you? Don't criticize the mother-in-law, just calmly state "It hurt my feelings when your mother implied that I made you move here/made you change jobs/made you buy a new car. Be aware that there is a belief that mothers-in-law often assume that daughters-in-law are terrible manipulators who wickedly control their son's lives. Don't make judgemental comments as she does, but let your husband know that it hurts. Most men do not want their wives to be hurt, and you are entitled to share this with your husband (your best friend). Do not criticize her, but don't protect her either.

4. Distance yourself physically. You don't need to move, but you also don't need to show up at every event. Just be busy doing something else. Always make it easy for your husband to go without you (after all, this is his mother). Often the son still goes to some things, but drops some things as well, because he wants to be with his family. Do not discourage your spouse from attending family functions! But it is important that you protect yourself and stay away when you choose, and you should be aware that sometimes he will choose to stay home, too. Do not feel guilty! You have to protect yourself.

5. Remember that it's highly unlikely that she'll change. If your mother-in-law has criticized you, stabbed you in the back to other family members, and has been dismissive of things you've said, she is making a very clear statement about this "relationship". Believe her. She may be occasionally nice. Judgemental, negative people often do this; they do something nice to reel you in, and then grab the opportunity to make a jab at you. If she's done this, remember to keep your distance even when she's being nice. You are more important than your relationship to your mother-in-law! Take care of yourself. Let the hopes go. Look to other women for mentoring, advice, kindness, role modeling. You have to write this woman off. It's not going to happen.

6. You are entitled to a peaceful life. You do not owe this woman anything. She's just a person, and if her behavior is ugly, she isn't entitled to any sort of special respect. Mothers-in-law sometimes assume that they're going to be a powerful matriarch. No. Respect and admiration are earned. If she doesn't deserve it, you're certainly entitled to protect yourself, and keep strong boundaries.

7. If she really attacks you, your husband needs to support you. Your spouse can simply phone her and said "I heard you say X to my wife. I don't think that's appropriate. Do not do it again." (Note: it is very important that your husband not leave you alone with her! He needs to be a witness! Otherwise, she'll say that your interpretation of events is incorrect, etc.). But if she does something in front of your spouse, your spouse can say that it bothered him. This is key. And it is your spouse's responsibility to handle his own mother, just as you should deal with your family, and he shouldn't have to. Mothers-in-law sometimes "lay in wait" until no one else is in the room (including their own husbands, whom they want on their side). Do not be alone with her. If you find yourself alone with her, immediately get up and go to the bathroom, take a walk, do whatever you need to in order to NOT be alone with her.

Most important learn to live with the things in life that you cannot change, a nasty mother-in-law being one of them.

How beautiful girls date but remain virgins for their wedding night

How A Solar Energy Company Came Up With An Ingenious Selling System

2008-07-29T22:48:00.000-07:00

In the last two days we have been talking about marketing or selling systems and today I want to wrap up this important topic by giving a few more practical examples that will prove that getting a selling system for your small business will undoubtedly revolutionize things.

I was amazed when I was told how the most successful solar and alternative energy company in Kenya got its’ start. Its’ founder actually created an amazing selling system. Installing solar panels requires a very high initial cash outlay meaning that not everybody can afford it. So naturally the first thing this business owner did was to establish if his prospect had the financial resources to pay. Once he had confirmed this he approached the house owner and offered to install solar panels, lights and everything into the house. The home owner would then be allowed to enjoy it for a few days. The deal was simple. When the solar man came back, the owner had a choice of paying for it or if he was not interested then the solar company would simply uninstall all their stuff and he would owe them nothing. Not surprisingly 9 out of 10 homes in which they installed their solar panels ended up paying. This is a powerful marketing system that works wonders.

In the days when I was a conventional print publisher, I managed to launch a very successful weekly print magazine. I started off using a conventional selling system through news vendors which still worked until one day. The main vendor whom I used to sell most of the copies and also distributed to others for some reason was unable to pay me for what he had sold. Our usual arrangement was that when I took him the new issue, he would pay me for sales of the previous one and I would then give him the new one. I found myself stuck with a very large number of magazines and nowhere to sell them. It took me about 3 weeks of trial and error to come up with an amazing new selling system that multiplied my circulation many times over. I created a small miniature edition that summarized the content of the main magazine. I would then get my own sellers who would distribute the miniature edition for free. As a result of this selling system my circulation climbed steeply to a point where I was easily selling thousands of copies.

Sit down and ask yourself what your customers and prospects really want and then find a selling system and your business will never be the same again.

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Deadly Mother-in-laws Part 2 of 3

2008-07-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we read the horrifying real life tale of what a mother-in-law did to completely and ruthlessly destroy her son’s marriage. There are many other horror stories that happen all the time in many homes across Kenya.

So what can a woman really do when the mother of the man she loves does not like her?

It is important to understand that chances of you and your mother-in-law being friends are really slim. So don’t push it. Just like your man can never really be great friends to your mother. There are exceptions to the rule of course (personally I know a few). But the reality here is that his mother instinctively feels that you are taking away her son from her, how can she like you? This is important to grasp because many women go through life miserable believing that their husband’s mother doesn’t like them because there is something wrong with them.

Actually the severity of your problems will heavily depend on just how close your man is to his mother. The closer they are, the more serious a problem you will have in your hands.

The truth is that many folks do not realize that mothers-in-law are notorious for breaking up marriages and relationships on very flimsy grounds. These “excuses” for causing their sons to part with their women range from; “she is not clean” to “she doesn’t know how to cook, my son will starve” to “she is a mchawi.” Interestingly the last accusation is common where the woman is so deeply in love with her man which may cause him to change in many ways. So the poor woman gets accused of witchcraft when the only “madawa” she has given to the man is love. Incidentally many people including this writer believe that passionate love is a form of “uchawi” which causes people to do very strange things. However it is not the negative “uchawi” that many mothers-in-law have in mind against their poor daughters-in-law.

But the women who suffer most in the hands of these “monsters-in-law” are the ones who for some reason are unable to conceive and give birth.

You will hear cruel comments like; “What is that woman still doing in his house.” Notice that she ceases to be his wife and becomes “that woman.”

It actually helps a great deal when there is a father-in-law in the picture. Indeed it has been proven that the most notorious mothers-in-law are single parents who have always been way to close to their sons. Somehow the presence of a man in the home tends to make a huge difference and it becomes a lot more difficult for the mothers-in-law to get involved in excesses.

In the final part of this series tomorrow we examine tips on how to deal with your mother-in-law. Don’t miss it.

Men who pick up decent women on the streets

The Most Important Money-Making Secret

2008-07-28T23:40:00.000-07:00

You are about to discover the most important secret for making money not only online but anywhere. Without this gem you will struggle for the rest of your life and no matter what business you start or program you join for making money online success will remain elusive.

However if you grasp and embrace this little secret, then it will hardly matter what Internet money making program you are involved in because everything you touch will literally turn into pure gold.

Let me also warn you like most secrets you really need to "see" it. Dozens of you will read right through it and mutter "oh yeah, yeah," under their breadth but the truth will be that they have not grasped it. In other words although they have read about it, they have failed to "see it."

The secret is simply this. All you need is a system.

There is a system for everything under the sun. For the presidential elections, there is a detailed electoral system. And no company large or small would dream of opening their doors for business before they have set up an accounting system. Factories have a production system and so on. A system makes it possible to organize work and get it done. A system is a laid down proven way of doing things to get a task done.

Now the big mystery is why most businesses do not bother with a marketing system. Yet marketing is more important than production and even accounting because if there are no sales all other departments and beautifully designed systems will be idle.

That's the most important make money online and make-money-anywhere secret. All you require is a proven system that works and making the money online will be a breeze. Let me admit that designing a system that generates hot sales leads regularly and then turns as many of them as possible into paying customers and clients is not a joke. It is very hard work. That is why I recommend that you either copy somebody else's workable system or join a program that has a marvelous ready-to-use marketing and selling system. When you do this, success will be guaranteed. I assure you, there is no way you can fail.

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Mother-in-law or monster-in-law?

2008-07-28T03:48:00.000-07:00

The following true story illustrates just how damaging mothers in law can be when for some reason they do not like their son’s wives or girlfriends.

Ndungu and Shiro had started their affair when Ndungu was still at the Nairobi University. It did not matter that Shiro came from a very poor family because Ndungu too had been brought up in a lot of hardships. The central character in his life was his mother who had done all sorts of things to keep him in school. She dug people’s shambas and even did what was considered to be men’s jobs to earn cash to pay for his fees. It was even rumoured that in one desperate moment she had sold her own body to get some urgently required cash for her beloved only son to do an important exam whose deadline was dangerously close.

Her efforts bore fruit when Ndungu graduated from the University with a degree in a highly sort after professional field and the money started pouring in almost immediately he left campus.

When Mama Ndungu first met Shiro she had not even been aware of the fact that there was a woman “out to eat his money,” as she put it. She of course did not want to hear that Shiro had played her part in supporting Ndungu through university (she had even given him money many times).

Shiro decided that there was nothing she could do about the mother of the man she loved who openly hated her so much that they never even greeted each other whenever they would meet. What she did not know was that the crafty old woman had launched a war which she knew she would easily win.

If you are reading this, just remember this one simple fact; you cannot compete with your guy’s mother. You met the guy when he had grown all his teeth and the woman you are up against changed his nappies. So who do you think knows him better?

One day Ndungu unexpectedly brought a house help from upcountry and Shiro was delighted because she really did need some help in the house with her two small daughters. Little did she know that the first part of an evil plan by her mother in law was in place.

Shiro in fact liked the house-help. She was polite and obedient and did not do anything to raise her suspicion. But Shiro made one other deadly error. Whenever her husband came home late from his evening drink, she would not get out of bed to serve him and would instead allow the house help to warm the food and serve him. This information of course trickled back to Ndungu’s mother through her able spy, the humble house help.

So one day the husband came home and shortly after the house help warmed and served him the food, she started crying. Women’s tears usually alarm men and Ndungu panicked, just as his mother knew he would. He carefully enquired from her in their mother tongue what the problem was. The house help told him that mama watoto (Shiro) had poisoned the food and she had been forced to serve it and yet she knew it contained poison that would kill him.

Ndungu could not believe his ears but fetched his wife from bed. She was angry at being woken up and still groggy from sleep. Ndungu told her what he had been told and then tried to force her to eat the food he had been served with.

What happened next has been debated on for years. Most people say that there was some witchcraft used to confuse Shiro because she refused to eat the food to prove that there was no poison in it. Later Shiro told her friends that she was not sure exactly why she refused but she knows she was very angry, angrier than she had ever been in her life, that her husband would believe what he had been told by the maid and suspect her. And after everything they had been through together. It was also known that Shiro had a very nasty temper. So that is probably what caused her to make the crucial mistake of refusing to eat the food. This to the husband was ample evidence that the food was indeed poisoned.

It is further rumoured that the tasty food Chicken and rice was eaten by the house help that very night because the next day when elders wanted the food to take for testing to verify whether it had poison or not it had vanished. It was not in the dustbin which the stammering maid claimed she threw it in. And the only person who had been left in the house was the houshelp because Ndungu got Shiro into the car with her night dress there and then and all her belongings thrown into the car boot and he then drove her all the way to her parents home in Muranga. They started the journey from Nairobi at about 2 am in the morning.

To cut a long sad story short. That was the end of the marriage between Ndungu and Shiro. Shortly after they separated Ndungu’s mother moved into the house and this is where she lives to date apart from an occasional trip upcountry that she makes. Ndungu has since remarried an old Mzungu woman and has kicjed out his daughters who now live a hard life they never knew.

I leave you to digest this real life experience until tomorrow when we will discuss this topic of mothers-in-law and how they mess up relationships and marriages tomorrow.

Horrors of what husbands do with their wives

A simple system that turned a bankrupt magazine into a cash machine in weeks

2008-07-28T03:01:00.000-07:00

The two principal shareholders of the magazine stared back at me in disbelief as I calmly explained the simple rescue plan we would use to save the ailing monthly business magazine. Exhaustion and desperation were written all over their faces and in a way I felt pity for them.

The pair had already lost a small fortune in just one year of operation. The only reason why they had not shut down the damned thing was that they were hoping for some miracle that would recover at least half their life savings.

But then theirs is the story of hundreds of thousands of would-be-entrepreneurs the world over who continue to launch thousands of new magazines every year without the very special skills that are required to run this complex and yet extremely potential business.

All they had left at this bankrupt magazine now was a small demoralized sales team ready to quit the moment they found jobs elsewhere. No reporters, no writers, no budget to get good writers on board.

I quickly called a meeting and tried to inspire the shabby remnant, assuring them that the magazine was now in good hands and that things would improve. Luckily they did not sense the cold fear creeping up my spine nor did they seem to realize that I had already broken into a cold sweat. In business there are no guarantees - you win some and you lose others. What right did I have to make all these promises? What if I failed in this assignment?

I proceeded to swiftly train the handful of sales people and changed them from advertising sales persons into "reporters". They were to go out and gather information.

Gather information!? When you need revenue so badly?

Hold your horses and read on.

We developed a simple system consisting of the following steps,

1) "Reporter" calls up a potential client and books an appointment for an interview.

2) I accompany them to the interview and I do both a thorough and professional job of it.

3) After the interview, we make an editorial decision whether the material merited a feature article in the magazine or not. And if it did whether the story will end up being positive or negative. (Any publisher will tell you that bad news sells much better than good news.)

If it merited a positive story, we would go ahead and write the story and then later approach the same client to book an advertisement so as to get a double maximum impact in the same issue. Alternatively they would have their advertisement appear in a future issue.

4) If the story was negative we could not approach the source to place an ad in the magazine. We would instead go ahead and write our big story with a little additional research from other sources. The reporter would then approach a competitor to the business in question (who was not in the same mess) for an advertisement.

5) Other times an interview supplied us with a tip to pursue another company or organization for a lead story, which we would also do.

Using this simple system that maximized on the meager resources that were available, we literally killed two birds with one stone. The sales team were able to get very good quality leads for advertising sales and turned most of them into much needed solid sales. The big secret here is that they were able to use the writer's interview session to build rapport with the client/news source.

Secondly, in the process we were able to do quality research work for all the stories we carried in the magazine which improved our readership and the confidence of advertisers as well on the quality of the monthly business publication.

This was of course combined with some careful house-keeping where we kept a very careful eye on costs by designing a system that would monitor costs on a daily basis. Within 8 weeks the magazine was making a profit and in one year, if you came calling, you would not believe it was the same previously dying magazine.

It was all made simpler by the fact that we were dealing with a business magazine, because this type of magazine is in the unique situation where the newsmakers can also be the main advertisers.

Magazines can be very profitable. They can also be huge cash drains. It all depends on you doing the following;
Creating workable systems for generating revenue through selling advertising and other systems for generating revenue from subscription and single copy sales. The systems you create must be so simple that the staff training required will be minimal.

It's as simple as that. And that's exactly how I turned around an ailing business magazine.

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Why sex hampers relationships

2008-07-25T00:53:00.000-07:00

Sidney Sheldon’s classic Stranger in the mirror has a fascinating tale of how a woman landed a husband.

The woman was very desirable but also very generous with her favors to any man who was vaguely interested (if you know what I mean). So she decides for some reason that she wants to get married to this particular guy. Now the guy is a famous entertainer and women usually just can’t wait to jump into bed with him. So he expects the same from this woman. He is in for a shock and despite trying every trick in the book, he just can’t have her. All this time his feelings and desire for her are growing in leaps and bounds. Of course he ends up marrying her.

The point here is that the longer sex is delayed in a relationship, the greater that relationship ends up being. Clearly sex is a great hindrance to the development of a relationship. It tends to turn everything into a physical messy, sweaty thing where love flies out of the window much faster than you can say; “I am coming.”

You need to start by understanding that for most men, landing a woman in bed is a game. And the game is usually over for all intents and purposes when they have poured themselves into you or the condom they are wearing. Everything that happens after that is just for show to postpone the inevitable just a little longer. The feelings that set are usually of dis-respect and they say to themselves something like; was that what she was playing so hard for me to get? Is that all? Hakuna kitu hapo.

Terrible thing for a human being to think and feel over another one of the same species, but sadly it happens all the time.

For a woman, sex usually makes them develop very passionate feelings for the man. More so if the sex was great. In most cases while the man wants to bolt ASAP, the woman will be thinking to herself how it can be forever.

But if on the other hand a relationship grows without sex, the couple has a great chance to really get to know each other and 6 months down the line, or even more, without sex or even as much as a kiss will usually mean that this is something serious that definitely has long-term prospects.

And this talk you hear all the time these days about people swearing that they are soul mates after knowing each other for just a few weeks and followed by some great sex before the first month is up is just silly and folks cheating themselves.

Previous relationship stories

How to ask for sex in marriage

Will those stretch marks cause romance to fly out of the window?

How to say, "I love you" without causing panic

Do Kenyan men like women who watch porn?

How do super-earners make $100,000 online?

2008-07-25T00:14:00.001-07:00

Many Kenyans don’t know it but the truth is that there are people out there who comfortably make $100,000 a month online consistently month after month. Most of them are involved with what are called affiliate programs.

What are affiliate programs?

An affiliate is really a commission agent. All they do is direct traffic to a certain website and they then get a commission from the sales that are generated from the traffic that they have referred to the site. The advantages of this kind of arrangement over launching one’s own site or business are obvious. As an affiliate entrepreneur, you do not get involved in production, shipping and all the other many hassles involved in running a successful online business. All you is concentrate on sending traffic to the website and then they take care of everything else and pay you your commission for your trouble.

The affiliate system was invented by Jeff Bezos, the founder of the multi-billion shilling site Amazon.com.

So how does one manage to be a super affiliate earning a monthly six-figure income?

The truth is that it is not easy, although more and more people are doing it these days. Especially youngsters who are barely legal but understand the World Wide Web and how it works.

For starters you will need to be fairly good at generating targeted traffic online. Actually you need to be an expert at things like search engine optimization as this is the only way that you will manage to drive large amounts of traffic to your affiliate web site and thus be able to earn those fantastic incomes that people are earning.

One huge advantage that you already have is the fact that the World Wide Web is a wonderful educational tool and if you put your mind to it you can learn to be anything.

Get more information NOW about how you too can make money online Or email strongwallafrica@yahoo.com for details.

How to ask for sex in marriage

2008-07-23T23:15:00.000-07:00

Everybody knows that the two key areas where most problems emerge and most fights start from in any relationship are namely sex and money.

But most are slow to talk about sex probably because they find it way to embarrassing. The main culprits here, it has to be admitted, are the men.

Picture the following scenario. Your wife has been busy all day in the office and heads to the kitchen the moment they arrive at home to make sure that everything is exactly as you like it. She then helps the kids with the homework and does a million other things in the house while you watch KTN news on TV and catch up with the latest episode of “24.” However when you get to bed you will rush to demand your conjugal rights with the insensitivity of an animal. Of course even if you do get it, the quality is bound to be very poor because her mind (don’t even mention the heart) is really not in it.

Men need to start by understanding that women are not like your PC which you switch on and instantly get to do whatever you want as long as you know the commands. Women are emotional creatures but the best policy is to treat them like a bank account. That is you can only withdraw what you have put in, and if you are a little more patient and put the money in the right account, you may be able to draw it out with some “interest.”

Do something nice to please her. Buy her that dress she talks about all the time. Or those shoes you admire in your co-worker. This is not to say that everything you do for her has to involve cash. By being just a little considerate in many small things, you will be amazed at the change that comes over her. You will not be any less of a man by helping out with the dishes. Or throwing out the trash. Or tidying up the store or backyard a few minutes before the TV news starts.

But the biggest problem men have is I how they ask for sex in the bedroom. It ranges from a growl (not unlike that of a lion) to wife rape, pure and simple. PLEASE STOP. You are dealing with a lady here, not another man like you, surely. Women need to always be handled tenderly and with a lot of care.

10 Creative ways men can ask their women for sex

1. Be nice to her. Compliment her on the things about her that really turn you crazy.

2. Buy her chocolate on your way from the office and some flowers. Done right you won't even need to ask for anything. You will get it on a silver platter.

3. Buy her that really expsnive dress she has always wanted. Will yield same results as "2" above.

4. Wash the dishes or do a chore for her that she really hates. (This one works like magic).

5. Listen attentively as she bitches about everything and anybody. Ask questions now and then to show her that you are listening. You will be shocked at the mood she will be in when you get to bed.

6. Talk dirty. WARNING: This can only work if she is already in the mood.

7. If she wants kids and you don't have any yet, start a discussion on the sex of your baby or how cute he/she will look like.

8. If your wife works like you, when she gets home from work massage her and don't allow her to do any work in the house. Well, if you want it you have to work for it kijana so don't just groan and move to the next tip.

9. Stare at her breasts or thighs and when she asks you what you are doing, tell her honestly what that part of her anatomy does to you.

10. Look for creative pick-up lines on the internet and modify them slightly to suit your objective.

Good luck. :-)

How to take your small business online

2008-07-23T23:07:00.000-07:00

…or even launch a brand new one online

Many Kenyans dismiss the Internet as being way too complex for somebody to want to dare invest in an online business.

How do you collect money, how do you makes sales or advertise to prospects? It all seems so complex and impossible to do.

Yet for a distant investor and even an existing small business, the World Wide Web offers an amazing opportunity for profit to those who understand its’ sheer power. Actually the minute you grasp the power of the web, you will go to great lengths to try and learn how best to market and do business online.

So let us try and examine this issue first.

Any experienced entrepreneur will tell you that in most businesses, the biggest headache they have is in distribution. You have a product to sell so how does it reach your customer or the end-user? If you have a simple product like some nice buns or cakes you have baked and you wanted to sell as many of them as possible, you would walk around the whole day distributing them to small shops, kiosks and other outlets where your prospective clients flock to daily. Here there are endless problems you are bound to face. Shopkeepers will Not want to pay you cash and will prefer to sell the products first and pay you later. That is where the headache starts and you will soon find yourself spending most of your time running around chasing the cash for the buns and cakes that were sold a week or two ago instead of doing the actual baking of new supplies.

In sharp contrast, doing any business online has numerous advantages. To start with you do not have a middleman and you can sell directly to your customer and still have a viable business. Indeed every day more and more Kenyans are discovering how easy and convenient it is to do business online.

Here is a simple idea to help you open up your mind to the vast opportunities available.

You are running a video library and since people are so busy these days, they hardly have time to come down to your shop and spend hours browsing around for the right movie to watch. So what you do is launch a simple site where you have a brief synopsis what every movie you’ve stocked is about. You can even make things more interesting by having giving discounts or free movies to some of your clients to write down their opinions and brief reviews of the movies they have watched. Your clients register and choose the movies they want (they can even pay for them online because it is easy to create your own online payment system) and they are then delivered to their homes or their offices within hours. Your site can also link to sites showing the trailers of some of these movies. There should be a huge demand for this kind of business in many major towns in the country. Starting and running the whole thing online I even easier because you can start without investing in any stocks and purchase the movies only as they are ordered. Or work out a rental arrangement with a major movie distributor or stockist and re-hire out your movies with a reasonable mark-up.

In fact numerous other services can benefit greatly by moving online in this way. For example a laundry service for suits and ties.

The web is very convenient because people can order things and shop while they are still in the office which saves them a lot of time and the mad rush from work to the shops to buy stuff before they close in the evenings.

If you do not have an existing offline business that can be expanded online, you can still think of a brand new business that you can launch that is exclusively online.

Want to get involved in a simple online business that will earn you cash even as you learn the ropes? Email NOW

Will those stretch marks cause him to stop loving you?

2008-07-22T01:08:00.000-07:00

It is quite normal for people in a relationship to worry about how they look.

Men are increasingly concerned about their beer bellies and have nightmares about them looking like those policemen whose pot bellies bulge out of the tight copper uniforms in such a way that they look like they will give birth at any time.

Women worry about a lot of things including pots. But perhaps the most common cause for concern will surprise most men. This is because women never admit it but it occupies their thoughts quite a lot.

These are stretch marks. There are many circumstances in life that result in stretch marks but of concern is how ugly most women find them. Those small marks that may not be that easy to notice actually cause lots of stress and concern to many.

To make matters worse they are not that easy to get rid of. In fact they are virtually impossible to deal with.

We asked a few men what they really think about ugly stretch marks. Here is what they had to say;

“Are you talking about those ugly things that old mama’s get? Kwani chics get them?”

“I think women worry for nothing. Those things are hardly noticeable and anyway when hey get naked there is no time to look at those things…if you know what I mean.”

“It depends where those stretch marks are. The no no areas are the thighs. Anywhere else is very bearable.”

“Women never cease to amaze me. They want to lose weight but then they don’t want stretch marks. How? Tell me how you can lose weight but manage to avoid them.”

“Stretch marks? What are those?”

Business ideas for distant investors: Technique will grow your money quickly

2008-07-22T01:01:00.000-07:00

As a follow up to my previous article, today we start to examine the various business and investment ideas that a distant investor can consider.

There are quite a number of Kenyans who have made a killing on the Nairobi stock exchange in recent years. Oh yes, I am well aware that the cases you most frequently hear about are those of people losing money. However what you may not know about is a technique used fairly successfully by many people all over the world that virtually guarantees a rapidly growing portfolio and huge profits from investing in any stock exchange.

The stock exchange obviously has several attractions for distant investors, the first being that you do not have any overheads or staff to worry about.

Let me try and explain in simple non-technical language about this amazing technique. It is really simple. What you need to do is carefully study the movements of a particular company share. Usually they all have their highs and lows and tend to oscillate between the two. So what you simply do is buy the share when it hits it’s low and then wait for it to climb only slightly and sell. The point at which you sell is very important because the reason why people lose money on stock exchanges is greed. They wait for the share to appreciate as much as possible so as to maximize on their profits. Remember that when a stock approaches its’ high point, selling it becomes very difficult. The whole idea is to aim to make only tiny small margins from the shares you buy and sell but tend to do it much more frequently and spread over as many different stocks as possible.

With the advent of wonderful computer technology these days it is very easy to issue sell instructions so that the second a share hits the desired price your shares are automatically put up for sale.

Using this technique your losses would be very minimal if anything went wrong or even if the market collapsed altogether as opposed to those who invest over much longer periods of time.

It is very important to remember that if you intend to be a regular and heavy investor in stocks it is prudent that you do your homework just as you would have done if you were entering any other business. Read up a lot and use the valuable World Wide Web as much as you can.

Tomorrow: Yet another idea for you to consider.

How To Say “I Love You…” and Not Cause Them To Bolt

2008-07-21T06:45:00.000-07:00

Everybody knows that men hate any kind of commitment. Indeed many women imagine (maybe quite rightly) that the worst nightmare a man can have is a woman telling them that she loves him. Or even worse, that she is pregnant. Both light up the red light and warning bells ring very loudly in a man’s mind because they all point to commitment which seems to be the last thing most men want.

Some women who have gotten carried away in a relationship and made the mistake of telling a man that they love them have ended up very hurt not only at the immediate reaction but the behaviour of the man soon after the encounter. Basically they bolt and run as fast as their legs can carry them.

In our modern world many men also find themselves in a situation where they tell a woman they love them and yet that is not the reason why the woman is in the relationship in the first place. If you make this mistake you will suddenly find that it is so difficult to get a date with her and she suddenly becomes too busy and occupied to see you.

So how do you say “I love you” without messing up your relationship?

It starts with the kind of honesty some people are not capable of. If your man only has you over for sex, then that is all it is, the word “love” does not come in and there is no way you can force it in. Try “lust instead. If the woman you think is your girl friend is always too busy to see you, then obviously love is not in the horizon, leave and continue your search for “the one.” She’s still out there somewhere… waiting.

But even if you are sure that your partner loves you, there are some two very important rules to observe. Firstly make sure that the timing is right. If it is the end of a very hard day and you have managed to somehow squeeze in sometime together, obviously they have plenty on their mind and to make matters worse, the next day is a working day. This is not the right time to bring up such a “heavy” topic of discussion.

Secondly it is important to break it easy. A good idea is to start off telling them that you really enjoy their company and are developing feelings for them. You just don’t blurt out; “I love you.”

This kind of approach of breaking it easy gives your partner breathing space and a better chance to respond. They can either tell you that is exactly the same way they feel, or they can admit that this love thing is not really for them.

This can save you a lot of hurt in a relationship.

Do Kenyan men fancy women who watch porn?

Want to make money back home in Kenya?

2008-07-21T06:35:00.000-07:00

One of the most daunting challenges for many prospective small business entrepreneurs these days is how to run a business from a distance.

Kenyans in the Diaspora trying to invest back home are keenly aware of what I am talking about here. Indeed even those who are employees somewhere and are desperately trying to start a small business on the side will immediately identify with what I am talking about here.

What frustrates many first time entrepreneurs is the fact that they do not seem to be able to replicate what happens at their work place where the business owners never set foot on the premises and yet the business runs and yields good profits year after year.

This is a big mistake. It is ridiculous to compare a start up you are trying to get off the ground to the established business you work for that has time-honored systems that have been in place for years.

Interestingly some successful small business entrepreneurs who still work elsewhere have launched their businesses by taking leave and for a whole month, setting up structures and getting the business off the ground, so that by the time they leave to go back to work, everything is working like clockwork. Admittedly this happens very rarely because anybody with a little experience in running a business will tell you that it takes months and sometimes years before a small business can finally get off its’ feet.

Something really useful to remember when launching your small business is that you should carefully choose what type of business you want to get involved with as a distant investor. This is because if you are not careful you can easily be robbed blind or lose your entire investment.

This is one of the reasons why real estate has been so attractive to most Kenyans in the Diaspora investing back home. All that is needed is to find a close relative to supervise the construction after you have gotten good estimates from professionals. When the rental houses are done rent is then collected and it is virtually impossible for anybody to rob you. To make things even easier, one can simply purchase an apartment or two that has already been constructed in one of the up-market locations in Nairobi. These kind of apartments for sale have been popping up like pop corn all over the place. This explains the current property glut in Nairobi where rentals (especially in high income areas) have dramatically fallen. There are just too many of those houses that have come up in recent years.

This has made such an investment increasingly unattractive for anybody looking for good returns on their investment. The result is that many Kenyans have chosen to avoid this business altogether. What they need to consider is that Kenya has many other very viable places for property investment where anybody who is a little patient can make a killing.

There is Mombasa, Kenya’s second largest city. This writer has been informed of a very interesting development in this costal city. There is massive investment pouring into Mombasa and this has caused a serious shortage of housing. Considering that land in many parts of Mombasa is still so cheap, this is definitely a place worth careful consideration.

Many small towns surrounding Nairobi are yet another viable location to look at. It is pretty obvious that the city is rapidly expanding outwards and infrastructure will soon be in place to make it feasible for people working in the city to live in places as far away as Machakos for example. Anybody purchasing land now and putting up good housing will not have very long to wait.

(To be continued: Tomorrow we look at brilliant small business ideas for distant investors to consider)

Young couple’s business fails to recover after post election violence

2008-07-18T00:17:00.000-07:00

For many Kenyan entrepreneurs, life has never been the same again since the ill-fated presidential elections of last year. Indeed the grand coalition government’s former finance minister Amos Kimunya kept on talking about the country being on the right track to recovery without acknowledging the fact that there are many businesses in many small businesses in parts of the country that will probably never recover.

Today Wangari a young ambitious business woman from Naivasha tells her story to Kumekucha;

“I am a young, ambitious and focused lady. I am 25yrs old and married.

By the way my roots are in Othaya, Central province but I dislike the man who I used to admire so much i.e Kibaki. I was always proud to say I hail from Othaya but as of now I never want to be associated with this man.

Anyway back to my story. I grew up in Nairobi and was just about to go to university in 2003 but my parents couldn't afford it and so I got a job to keep me busy. My boyfriend then (now my hubby) decided to move to Naivasha to look for greener pastures. He set up the business that we now have and things started looking up, I followed him shortly afterwards and decided to settle here.

I fee very sad today because just last year I even had hopes and plans that by the end of this year (2008) we'd be in our own home. But now that seems to be an impossible dream well beyond our reach.

We deal in mobile phones and airtime sales and as you know it was the craze and still is for people to get the latest stylish cell phone. From 2004 until the end of 2007, we have seen steady growth in our business and we had several outlets within rift valley which were doing very well until Dec 2007.

After the disputed elections followed by the violence, we have been forced to close down most of our outlets and even the remaining ones are not doing well. The cost of living for most Kenyans has skyrocketed so much that it has badly affected our type of business. People are struggling to survive with the high inflation and low incomes, they really don’t have anything to spare to get luxury goods like cell phones. From a business where daily sales of Kshs 100,000 were the norm we now record even as low as 10,000 on a good day.

I had hoped that this government would be more sensitive and be more conscience about the local mwananchi but clearly, all they think about is themselves, their selfish ambitions and their pockets. Considering that we had made a milestone between 2003 and 2007 despite all the politicking, I had assumed that as from 2008 things would be even better and the sky would be the limit. My plans to secure a home and go back to school have now been put on hold. It’s like starting from scratch again.

But even with the grand coalition government in place I don’t see Kenya going far, all they are doing is back stabbing each other. Sorry to say this but I think we need to go back to the polls to elect people willing to work for the country and not for their pockets.

Even my own MP for Naivasha is not doing anything for us. He is of no help to the people who elected him. All he is busy with is fighting Jane Kihara in court. Even the CDF office has been closed and supposedly re-located elsewhere.

That's my story and my take on how things are looking, I hope one day I will be able to influence people by my actions and I will be a role model to others.

I admire Wangari Maathai for taking a stand (please do a story on her, the good and the bad).

That's my story, please don’t use my real name and anytime you need a contributor, I'll be more than happy to pitch in. I am tired of being the problem, its time I became part of the solution.

Small business Kenya Special resumes on Monday. Don’t miss it.

Do Kenyan men like women who watch porn?

2008-07-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

Love and Relationship Headaches

It all happened quite by accident and she suddenly found herself in a very difficult situation in a relationship she highly valued and wanted very much to work out. After all she was not getting any younger.

Her boyfriend had come over and she had left him playing around with her laptop as she took a quick bath. The minute she came out of the bathroom she knew that there was something amiss. It was the way he looked at her. Was that a look of disgust on his face?

“You mean you watch porn?” he had asked accusingly? Somehow the guy had found a few clips she thought she had hidden well in some folders in her computer.

So what do most Kenyan men really think of women who watch porn? I interviewed a number of them and to be honest was shocked at what I found out.

Many single Kenyan women these days regularly watch porn. They may not readily admit it to their guy but it is widely available on the World Wide Web. And people just watch it sometimes. Many are attracted to it by curiosity, others for a myriad of other reasons that will be the subject of another article here at a later date.

Interestingly my research tells me that most of them are forced to tell a fib if the man in their life asks them the question directly; do you watch porn on the web? In many ways this is very disturbing and stressful to many women because the truth is that generally they feel very guilty when they have to tell their boyfriends lies about personal stuff. At least most of them do. But then who wants to end their relationship on such a note. Imagine confessing to your girlfriends one day the real reason why you and him drifted apart; it was because I like watch porn occasionally. Yikes!!!

The truth is that most Kenyan men surveyed are uncomfortable about their future wife watching porn. And the most ridiculous thing of all is that most of these men who feel this way, watch plenty of porn themselves. How hypocritical!!

Jonas a man in his early 30s says: “It really depends. If she’s my girlfriend I will not be comfortable at all knowing that she delights in watching porn. However if she’s my wife, no problem because we will be watching it together.”

Surprises never cease when one is seriously looking into human nature because when I started this research project I was sure that a majority of men really don’t mind their girl being a porn addict let alone an occasional viewer.

It turns out that most Kenyan men despite the image they may try to portray sometimes are very conservative. One single guy studying in an American university told this writer that he was thinking of dumping his girlfriend whom everybody though he would marry, simply because she was a Catholic. The man’s parents are Pentecostals, although he hardly goes to church himself. I was shocked. You can never assume anything about these Kenyan men, can you?

Only a mere 5 percent of the men I asked this question genuinely did not mind if their women were porn addicts. One man told me bluntly that “chics are human beings, NOT robots.”

I am hoping that we can carry this survey a little further here in this blog. Do tell us what you think about this crazy topic.

Incidentally people also need to know that porn can be highly addictive and if one is not in a relationship can have negative long term effects that may even affect and hinder a woman from having a healthy relationship. Just as it often does the same to many Kenyan men who are porn addicts.

What is Moi's most guarded secret?

How to ask for sex in marriage

Excuses men use to dump their girlfriends

Will those stretch marks cause him to stop loving you?

How to say "I love you" to a man and not cause him to bolt

Get The Sensitive Information You Seek For FREE

2008-07-10T23:14:00.000-07:00

The information you are seeking is sensitive but still available to regular readers of Kumekucha for FREE.

You will find it in this week’s edition of Kumekucha Confidential. To get your copy delivered directly to your email inbox Email NOW. Please make sure that you carefully follow the instructions you will receive in your reply email to confirm your subscription.

Apart from the information you seek, Kumekucha Confidential also publishes a sneak preview of the really hot stories published in the Kumekucha raw notes every week and it will also alert you to some of the most popular stories of the week on the Kumekucha site that you may have missed.

I personally recommend the Confidential as something that every regular reader of Kumekucha should subscribe to. It is completely FREE. Just Email NOW to subscribe.

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The Cry Fizzles

2008-07-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

“I’d rather die than resign,”
The man snorted sarcastically;
His shifty eyes roving hither and thither,
His heart racing, lips dry…

In the bottle,
The “resign now” pressure,
Squirmed, squeaked, and…
Pop! Went the cork.

Oh, the cloud, the dust,
The gas, the venom,
The bottle’s mighty wave,
The bank broke (the dam burst!)

In the avalanche ,
Amos “I’ll not resign”,
Swallowed, sucked in he was,
Gulp, gulp… shy of a drown.

His heart yelled “Help!”
His mouth co-operated not,
“I resign,” are the words we heard;
The bubble had broken.

2 Gifts To Our Readers To Celebrate The Life Of Tom Mboya

2008-07-05T04:17:00.000-07:00

a) Get free captivating summary of Tom Mboya’s biography delivered into your email in-box weekly. The easiest most entertaining way to read a huge volume of history that is a must-read. To receive the valuable summary weekly register now for free by sending an email to; kumekucha-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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So you think alone, you can’t do anything to change the politics in Kenya?

So you think alone, you can’t do anything to change the politics in Kenya?

2008-07-05T04:10:00.000-07:00

Many Kenyans ask themselves the question; What can one miserable person like me do to change things? And then they just sit back and do nothing but complain and despair.

Fortunately many folks including Nelson Mandela faced with far greater odds, did not think like you may be thinking just now. They did the little they thought they could do and the world is a better place because of that simple decision.

Kenyan politics stinks at the moment but you can start doing something towards changing things. And you can start right now (and it won’t even cost you a single Kenyan shilling).

Here’s what you can do. Knowledge and information is very powerful and the sad thing is that many Kenyans are NOT as informed as you are. The more informed Kenyans get, the quicker we will change things. Why not help get others informed by pasting the simple email signature below into your email as your email signature so that the usual emails you send out will help publicize and inform Kenyans about what is really going on?

Do the little you can just now. Who knows, even if you don’t end up being the next Nelson Mandela, you could come close.

DO IT NOW, it will only take a minute… or less.

Please choose just ONE email signature to use in your emails;

Have you read what other Kenyans are saying about today’s news?

To view the most guarded political secrets behind Kenyan news today, click HERE.

Kenyan News that the media fears to report EXPOSED HERE

Ode to the Charade: Zimbabwe

2008-07-01T06:12:00.000-07:00

A sham, bloody deception,
The bounding, white army chanted.

Undemocratic, unparalleled injustice,
The tardy (nay, tacky), black army chorused.

Unrivalled travesty, perfect ambiguity,
The International Community whimpered.

But the black man stood, ‘unstung’, unmoved,
The virulent words falling on ‘barren’ ears.

“Keep your noises to yourselves,”
He advised the white and black alike.

The bandying of coloured words ensued,
All parties pulling the frayed reins.

Just before the snap of the frayed joints,
The black man cleared his throat:

“If you deem yourselves clean enough,
Be the first one to throw the stone!”

The white and black armies exchanged glances,
And voluntarily retreated to their hovels.

The Quiet Rise And Rise Of Amos Kimunya That Kenyans Still Ignore

2008-06-20T06:03:00.000-07:00

“Blind-side winger” gunning for the presidency?

I love the game of soccer, but I think I love rugby more.

Amos Muhinga Kimunya the current Finance Minister and a Kibaki insider, was once a student at the Nairobi University and he no doubt used to watch the wildly popular varsity rugby team, Mean Machine in action. One of the most devastating tactics in the game of rugby (which Mean Machine has occasionally employed for years) is the use of a blind side winger. The game generally flows in the opposite direction to where the blind side winger is positioned (well-hidden) somewhere behind the crowded scrum. It is only at the very last split second when the direction is switched and usually a long pass is hurled in the opposite direction and by the time the opposition team get to see the winger coming in at a terribly high speed on the blind side, it is too late for them to do much and he easily scores.

Finance minister Amos Kimunya reminds me of some of the great blind side wingers I had the pleasure of both watching in action and playing with. On the political front this guy nobody had heard of as late as 2002 is coming in on the blind side at a terribly high speed and the crazy thing is that nobody has seen him yet.

This is more than a little surprising because at the height of the political crisis over the disputed presidential elections, early this year, Amos Kimunya's name popped up a little too frequently in intelligence reports circulating amongst Western powers who were critically weighing their dwindling options as the country threatened to degenerate into another Somalia. At the time I must admit that I was fairly puzzled and wondered why there was no mention of stronger and more prominent PNU faces that would be possible successors to Kibaki like George Saitoti or Uhuru Kenyatta. I have since wizened up.

But let us tell this tale chronologically for better clarity.

When the still unresolved Anglo-Leasing scum rocked the Kibaki government in 2006 and forced the then unprecedented move where Finance Minister Daudi Mwiraria resigned, very few people would have guessed that he would be replaced by the little known Lands and Settlement Minister, Amos Kimunya. It is no secret that Mwiraria and the president have always been very close and there are those who still say that the entire “brains” behind Mwiraria’s tenure at the Treasury was the president himself. Hardly surprising when you consider that the President is a world renowned economist and a man whom historians consider to have been the most successful Kenyan finance minister, both under founding father President Jomo Kenyatta and then briefly in President Moi’s government. Indeed it is now emerging that Kibaki had some very firm text book ideas in mind about how he was going to handle the economy as he took over as president and so what he required most in the finance portfolio was a person who could take instructions more than anything else.

This explains why Kimunya ended up in pole position to take over the Finance docket. Between 2002 and 2006 the shrewd Kimunya had wormed his way into the president’s side and amerged as one of his most trusted errand boys. Those close to the president say that he hates nothing more than to be second guessed or given alternative suggestions when his mind has already been made up about something and is known for very rude retorts which many insiders dread.

Kimunya is now in the position that the prophet Elisha was in as the cup bearer to Prophet Elijah towards the end of his tenure in the holy Bible. Only that the prophet Elijah, in this case the president, has already been convinced that the mantle will be in the best hands handed over to one Amos Kimunya.

Any careful observer of recent political events in the country will quickly realize that Kimunya, the blind-side winger in the Kibaki succession has already quietly launched his clever campaign that will see him end up as the PNU candidate for the presidency in 2012. Little wonder that intelligence reports during the political crisis early this year brought up his name as a possible successor to President Kibaki but warned that his political leanings may not be conducive to peace and stability in Kenya.

Incidentally one of Mr Kimunya’s closest advisors and confidants is a lawyer called Gichira Kibara whom I happened to know extremely well. To those who are observant, you will already know that Mr Kibara was one of the PNU lawyers during the negotiated Kofi Anan settlements that ended up in the current grand coalition government. The two have been laying down some very careful plans that have so far met with little resistance. But as I have always said there is such a thing as a plan that is so brilliant that it fails.

The recently read budget was more than anything else a campaign platform for Kimunya. Some analysts called it the first people-friendly budget in over 10 years and it included a countrywide soccer program fully budgeted for and targeted at the country’s multitudes of jobless and idle youths (who are also a powerful bloc of voters) as well as the removal of VAT on various essential goods in the hope that prices would fall for low bracket consumers. One newspaper headline even screamed shortly after the budget that Kimunya was set to create 250,000 jobs. What only one newspaper (The EastAfrican) has boldly put in the headlines is the deepening budget deficit even as Kimunya continues to borrow heavily from our great grand children to finance today’s political games.)

But by far the most telling move by the Finance Minister so far towards his ambitions has to be the highly popular (to the public) move to tax allowances of Members of parliament and holders of other constitutional offices. The finance minister was simply using the budget to play politics and get himself in pole position for the presidency in 2012.

Ask yourself why both PNU and ODM went to great lengths in consensus-building efforts amongst their troops when it came to passing through parliament the crucial Kofi Anan Bills but failed to do the same when it came to crucial budget proposals that the minister is heavily relying on to balance his sums. In fact with such a bloated cabinet as we have in the current grand coalition government getting support for such a move would have been very easy.

The answer is simple. The shrewd Kimunya and his backers knew very well that it is easier for a hungry Tana River Crocodile to ignore the easy prey of an unprotected child fetching water on the banks of the river than it is for the proposals of taxing legislators to be passed by the same legislators. The real intention of the move was with one master stroke to position Amos Kimunya and PNU and it’s partners for the presidency in the rapidly approaching Kibaki succession showdown. Already the public is being made aware of many key figures within PNU (potential opponents to Kimunya as he seeks the PNU ticket for president) who are strongly opposed to MPs allowances being taxed. In fact their laughable reason is that they usually use their high remuneration to develop their constituencies.

I am aware that I have plenty of extremely emotional readers who are fond of analyzing politics in Kenya with their hearts rather than their brains. However if we were to carefully analyze the numbers, then it becomes fairly clear that PNU as a party only needs to ensure that just a few cracks emerge within ODM to win the next polls easily and more importantly to win the presidency. Already they have made their intentions clear when Kiraitu Murungi announced a new “partnership” between Eastern province and Central province for 2012. This is in a backdrop where inroads are already being made by the never-say-die retired President Moi right into the base of ODM support in the Rift Valley. The main vehicle he is using is turning Kanu into a tribal war ship that will consist of mostly of Kalenjins with his own son Gideon Moi taking over as chairman of the party from Uhuru Kenyatta. Any statistician will tell you that a shift of even 30% of the Rift valley, politically is enough to cause a major change in any election outcome. Whether Moi will succeed or not is another issue altogether but my point is it is not prudent to ignore what the ex-president is doing, no matter how many times he has failed in the recent past. Incidentally it is worth noting that the constituency (Kipipiri) that Kimunya represents is NOT in Central but is in fact in Rift Valley province.

My whole point is that recent political developments in the country have clearly proved that PNU is not the spent force so many analysts thought it was. I need not remind you of the party’s showing in the recent by-elections where they outmaneuvered ODM to snatch the strategically treasured Embakasi seat.

Many readers have written to me recently with many kind words about the predictions I have made in the past that have ended up being spot on. I take this opportunity to thank them for their nice emails. And to avoid disappointing them, let me dive again into the murky waters of trying to tell in advance the direction where this magnanimous struggle for power will end. I am a great believer in looking to the past to understand the future. Kenya has changed presidents twice so far and both times the strategy that Mr Kimunya is pursuing has failed miserably despite looking like a sure winner up to the very last minute. That is why after Kenyatta we did NOT see President Njoroge Mungai as the authoritative Time magazine so confidently predicted. And after Moi we did not see President George Saitoti. Will it then be third time lucky with President Amos Kimunya? I highly doubt it.

(Written by Chris with some research input from Oscar)

Kumekucha Exclusive: How Maina Njenga's Wife Died

2008-04-22T06:14:00.000-07:00

EXCLUSIVE: Maj Gen Ali’s Link to Execution of Mungiki Leader’s wife

Fresh details emerged today how the wife of jailed Mungiki leader Maina Njenga was brutally murdered and the involvement of a new elite squad directly answerable to police commissioner Mohamed Hussein Ali.

It emerged that Ms Virginia Nyakio’s execution was plotted by an elite squad codenamed The Eagle, which was recently formed by Maj Gen Ali to replace the disbanded Kwekwe Squad. Just like Kwekwe, the Eagle Squad is directly answerable to Maj Gen Ali and it was formed to exclusively hunt down members of the dreaded Mungiki sect.

Police officers who spoke on condition they would not be named for security reasons said Nyakio was seized by members of the Eagle Squad in Nairobi on suspicion she had taken over the leadership of Mungiki on behalf of her husband, who is serving his jail term at the Naivasha Maximum Security Prison after he was convicted for being in possession of an unlawful gun and bhang.

They said the Eagle Squad interrogated the woman on the activities of the outlawed sect and how much money she had in her bank account. The police claim they had received information that Mungiki members were still channelling part of the cash they extorted from public service vehicles and businesses, mostly in Nairobi Central and Rift Valley provinces, to Mr Njenga’s wife.

Afterwards, the officers said, Ms Nyakio was tricked to call her driver, Mr George Njoroge, to meet pick her in a certain location in Nairobi. The officers from the elite unit ordered her not to betray she was under arrest when making the call and they promised to release her if she cooperated.

She believed the officers and obeyed their instructions. The officers then accompanied Ms Nyakio to the meeting place and seized Mr Njoroge. They then proceeded to the bank and ordered Ms Nyakio to withdraw all the cash she had in her account. The account was reportedly holding more than Sh5million. It’s unclear what became of the seized cash since it has triggered bad blood in the squad, with junior officers accusing their head of pocketing all of it.

The officers who spoke to us said Ms Nyakio and Mr Njoroge were later taken to a forest in Kajiado District where the driver was told how the woman had betrayed him. The police tricked him they would release him if he carried out their orders which required him to rape the Mr Njenga’s wife and then slit her throat with a dagger that was provided by the officers. Mr Njoroge was threatened with death if he defied their orders.

As soon as Mr Njoroge had finished executing the police orders, an officer from the squad who was standing behind him gave him a vicious blow at the back of his head using a sledge hammer and his lifeless body slammed to the ground.

The officers then loaded the two bodies in their vehicle and ferried them to Gatundu District where they dumped them at Gakoe forest.

Police later “discovered” the bodies and transferred them to City Mortuary in Nairobi and booked them as unknown. Family members discovered the bodies a day after they were dumped in the morgue.

Even before anybody raised a finger against them, the police quickly informed the media that the two were allegedly abducted while driving in a Toyota Rav4 car along Lang’ata road towards Ongata Rongai.

Family members later accused the police of executing the two. But Police Spokesman Eric Kiraithe said detectives were investigating the killings and denied that police were responsible. He said detectives suspect that the killings could be connected to feuding within the Mungiki sect over leadership after their chairman was sentenced to a five-year jail term.

Police have gone further to allege the execution was ordered by Mr Njenga after he was allegedly informed that Mr Njoroge was having an affair with his wife while he was in jail. They claim the execution was carried out by Mr Njenga’s loyalists.

It emerged today that the love affair theory was coined by Maj Gen Ali’s key advisers, Mr Kiraithe included, to shift the blame and heat from the force. The trick didn’t fool Mungiki followers. Under the Kenya National Youth Alliance, the sect members last week one of the most violent protest in Central, Nairobi and Rift Valley provinces as they barricaded key highways with heavy trucks paralysing road transport for four days. The well-coordinated protest saw business premises remaining closed, vehicles and other property being burnt or damaged and an estimated 15 people dead. The worst affected was Murang’a and surrounding areas where residents remained indoors and businesses remained closed for four days.

It emerged today that the National Security Intelligence Service (NSIS) had gathered intelligence about the protest and passed on the information to Maj Gen Ali. But the police chief dismissed it saying Mungiki was wiped out last year and the remnants were incapable of organizing any protest. He got a rude shock when he was worked up by his aides at 3am when Mungiki struck with vengeance in the dead of the night. That explains why the police were caught napping when Mungiki struck plunging Kenya into grief just a few hours after they had celebrated the naming of the much-awaited Grand Coalition Cabinet by President Kibaki.

The Eagle Squad, headed by Inspector Zebedeo Maina, was formed by Maj Gen Ali to deal with Mungiki after he quietly disbanded its predecessor, the Kwekwe Squad, following local and international outcry that greeted the discovery of bullet-riddled bodies of Mungiki suspects in Ngong forest late last year.

An estimated 5,000 youth who were branded Mungiki followers by the Kwekwe Squad were rounded up from their homes at night in parts of Central, Nairobi and Rift Valley provinces by members of the elite unit and never to be seen alive again.

The seized youths were then shot dead and their bodies dumped in parts of Ngong, Kiserian and Kajiado to be eaten by wild beasts while the rest were loaded into police vehicles and ferried to the crocodile-infested River Tana.

The human rights abuse scandal became a matter of public knowledge when some Maasi herdsmen discovered some of the rotting bodies, which wild beasts were unable to feast on due to plenty of human flesh, at Ngong Forest and alerted human rights organizations and media houses.

Offcicials of the state-owned Kenya National Commission on Human Rights have since documented hundreds of cases of young men who vanished and their bodies have never been found after they were arrested by the Kwekwe Squad officers.

Although a furious Maj Gen Ali called a press conference to deny his officers were involved in any of the extra-judicial killings, he has never made any attempt to have them investigated. The police chief was at pains to explain how the youths went missing yet there was evidence that some of them were even booked in police stations.

After Kwekwe was disbanded, its head, Mr Francis Njiru, who also reported directly to Maj Gen Ali, was rewarded with a promotion of Senior Assistant Commissioner of Police. The rank is held by all provincial CID chiefs.

It emerged yesterday that the Eagle Squad was more ruthless and discreet than the Kwekwe Squad. To avoid the pitfalls of Kwekwe, the Eagle Squad draws it members from Gikuyu-speaking police officers since Mungiki’s followers are predominantly from the Kikuyu community.

The officers disguise themselves as Mungiki followers in order to infiltrate the sect. They use car hire vehicles instead of police cars. Unlike Kwekwe who betrayed themselves by killing the youths using police bullets, the Eagle Squad uses the tactic of executing their victims in the Mungiki-style of beheading and using pangas and other crude weapons to look like the sect members were eliminating each other.

The Eagle Squad does not take or book its victims in police station to avoid leaving any trace. They detain victims lined up for execution in discreet houses they call “Safe Havens” during the period of interrogation.

The tragedy with the Kenyan media is that crime reporters swallowed the lies fed to them by police headquarters regarding Ms Nyakio’s grisly murder and never bothered to dig beneath the surface.

How To Get The Information You Are Looking For

2008-04-15T12:22:00.000-07:00

The information that you are interested in is of a highly sensitive nature. I have increasingly found that a lot of the raw information I have I am NOT able to use in the public domain and especially here in Kumekucha for various reasons. I have therefore decided to launch a private facility called Kumekucha’s raw notes where I openly share the very latest hot intelligence information I have in my notes weekly, and especially what I am NOT able to use directly in Kumekucha. I will charge a mere $15 (or Kshs 990) for one full years' subscription to this information. If you are interested in subscribing to this hot info drop me an email NOW at umissedthis at yahoo dot com and I will give you further details of what you need to do next.

By subscribing to Kumekucha’s raw notes, you will also be helping to finance the continued existence and enhanced quality of the Kumekucha blog.

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P.S. New subscribers will get all back issues of the raw notes ever published.

Political Games Being Played In New Cabinet

2008-04-14T05:31:00.000-07:00

Kenyans finally have a cabinet in place. However nobody has popped the champagne yet. In fact what is rapidly emerging amongst most Kenyans all over the world is deep exhaustion when it comes to Kenyan politics these days. Very telling was the fact that the wild celebrations that one would have expected from Kisumu did NOT happen.

Just thinking about the twists and turns in Kenyan politics since last December makes many Kenyans feel very tired. But as our very own mwalimu likes to say; na bado.

One of two things will happen next. Either Ali Baba and his 41 thieves will eat in bliss and you will not hear a sound because when thieves know too much about each other, they fear each other. Or alternatively we are about to be treated to endless squabbling, turf wars and all sorts of clownish activity. Most analysts agree that there is no option “C”

Sigh. Just thinking about it makes even me feel very tired.

There are a few things that have clearly emerged from the coalition cabinet named yesterday. For instance, the dominance of Kenyan politics by one tribe continues. There is no doubt that the Prime Minister’s office will wield immense powers despite what skeptics say. That means that the deputy Prime Ministers will be fairly powerful people and will no doubt overshadow even the vice presidency which has just become an even weaker office that it was previously. It beats logic how the president of Kenya can hail from the Kikuyu tribe and then have one of the deputy prime ministers hail from the same tribe. That does not augur well for the country, period. It is instructive that all the front runners for deputy premiership from PNU were from that single tribe. In fact this is the big weakness with PNU that many people have not seen. The memories of Kenyans are indeed very short. Everybody seems to have forgotten that what really caused Moi’s downfall was the fact that Kanu was fairly dominated by persons from the Kalenjin community. However what President Kibaki has done in barely a quarter of the time that Moi was in power is amazing to say the least (that is in the 5 years, going to 6, that he has ruled Kenya in comparison to Moi’s 24 years). Kibaki has surpassed what his predecessor did in 24 years in avery short time. When you understand this key point, you will understand why President Kibaki lost the elections of last December by close to a landslide and you will also understand why chaos broke out immediately after the so-called election results were announced. You will also understand why PNU’s fall will create a more resounding crash than that of KANU before it.

The choice of Uhuru clearly shows you just how influential retired president Moi still is. We all know the thinly veiled threat that came from Kanu before the cabinet was named. Clearly the old man is still dreaming dreams about KANU. In my view the rapidly emerging political landscape can only mean that Kanu is dead as a dodo, whatever Moi or anybody else does.

The other thing that is very clear from the bloated cabinet is the fact that political games are still being played big time. ODM has emerged in a much stronger position than most analysts seem to realize.

We now have a prime minister at the heart of government with constitutional powers for the next 2 years to stick his nose in government business and government secrets. That can’t be good news for PNU hardliners some of whom were determined to retire very rich when President Kibaki’s final term comes to an end. That is the point that everybody has missed, concentrating instead on the much hyped portfolio balance.

Raila likes to say; Usione Simba imenyeshewa ukafikiri ni paka. (Do not see a lion that has been rained on and dare mistake it for a cat). That is the exact position Raila thrives from, that of being seen as an underdog. Indeed he started his presidential campaign as the “unelectable presidential candidate.” Remember? It looks like Raila is at a great disadvantage now but just watch what will happen.

Of course the other thing that all this does is to complicate the Kibaki succession a great deal and I am convinced that the current Mungiki troubles across the country are linked somehow to the Kibaki succession (I reveal what is really happening in my raw notes this week scroll down to the bottom of this page to find out how you can get them today).

What PNU have done as precautionary moves is to move the Ministry of Special programs out of the president’s office and then crowd the presidents office with numerous new portfolios that they believe need to be watched, mainly because of the individuals who occupy those dockets. These are immigration (Otieno Kajwang) national heritage and culture (William Ole Ntimama) as well as public service (Dalmas Otieno). All these are key allies to ODM leader Raila Odinga.

Clearly ODM have been fed a suicide ministry called the ministry of Lands (headed by James Orengo). This is the ministry that will have to be at the forefront of sorting out the mess created by President Kenyatta with big help from retired President Moi in the 60s which culminated in the recent troubles. Orengo has been set up for major failure mainly because he has no powers to make the bold changes required to correct the injustices of the past which is the only way to restore permanent peace. This story of always falling back on the law and the legal owners of the land will just NOT wash.

Then somebody has gone and done a ludicrous thing with the ministry of education. We now have a ministry of education and a ministry of higher education, science and technology (Sally Kosgei). The implication here is that the Ministry of education is the “boss ministry) while the Higher education ministry is a junior ministry reporting to it. If this were not the case then Sam Ongeri’s ministry should have been called the Minstry for basic education.

Another political game that has been played is what has been done with the Ministry of tourism and wildlife. It has been split into the ministry of tourism headed by Najib Balala of ODM and the ministry of Wild life and forestry headed close Kibaki confidante Noah Wekesa. At first glance Hon wekesa looks like he’s been fed a weak ministry. However the truth is that Forestry and Wild life will control all the lucrative parks in the country and will have the real power while the ministry of tourism will see Balala as a pen pusher and globe trotting salesman for Kenyan tourist attractions.

Na bado

How snake was used I attempt to make barren woman give birth

About Raila and Circumcision

2008-04-14T04:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Kumekucha

I have read so many derogatory articles and comments about Raila Odinga not being circumcised as the main reason why some tribes in Kenya can't vote for him. I do NOT whether he is or not. I think circumcision is a matter between Raila and Ida. Kumekuchans, I don't know about you but I find this man/woman from Nevada a little bit weird. But I would suggest that we talk in some details on the issue he loves most - Circuncision. Circumcision is a very small thing that should not determine leadership. In my HR Classes i have never seen a chapter called circumcision! If it is there then I have not seen the book it is written in.

But I want to take this issue and discuss it further. It is not that Luos, Tesos, Turkanas and even other tribes fear it. It is only that they do not want to make it a public issue. There are so many people from these communities who have faced the knife but they look at it as a personal issue. Can Njoroge prove that he is circumcised? Can anyone prove that our leaders are circumcised or not? And how does circumcision improve leadership?
I want to assume that Wamalwa Kijana was circumcised because his community practice it. But Wamalwa (RIP) was more junile at heart than any of our leaders. Kijana was known to be a great lover of cartoon programmes on TV than take on serious issues head on. Kibaki is said to be circumcised. But who fence sits more than him? When Kenyan history is written, Kibaki will go down as the fence sitter par excellence! The most indecisive leader we have ever had! A man who sits and watch his wife assaulting his visitors!

And by the way what percentage is the foreskin to the whole human body? I can't get it on an ordinary calculator! If the small skin was the organ for making decisions, then the world would be a very dark place. Why? In a population of over 3 billion Men less than 0.5 billion are circumcised. I quote 'More than 80 percent of the world's males are intact, meaning they retain their foreskins' and about 80 percent of the world's population do not practice circumcision, nor have they ever done so. Among the non-circumcising nations are Holland, Belgium, France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Scandinavia, the U.S.S.R., China, and Japan. People employing circumcision do so either for "health" reasons or as a religious ritual practiced by Muslims, Jews, most black Africans, non-white Australians, and others.

Read more about reason why some people practiced circumcision in Caucasian population. So called "health" circumcision originated in the nineteenth century, when most diseases were of unknown etiology. Within the miasma of myth and ignorance, a theory emerged that masturbation caused many and varied ills. It seemed logical to some physicians to perform genital surgery on both sexes to stop masturbation; the major technique applied to males was circumcision. This was especially true in the English-speaking countries because it accorded with the mid-Victorian attitude toward sex as sinful and debilitating'.

If only circumcised populace were to rule this world, then we would still be in stone age. The Wright brothers were not Circumcised. If their contributions to aviation was to be ignored because of the fact that they had foreskin than where would we be today? And many more.

Not that only 1% of white population in NewZealand and Australia are circumcised.

What is my poin in all this? The foreskin does not matter in issues of leadership. All that matters is individual capability and capacity.

In any case, those hybrid humans who have met the knife should be able to give birth to hybrids only i.e. born already circumcised! But because this is not possible means that circumcision is not important except for health and hygiene reasons only!

By the way I met the knife too but do I say... It does not add any tea or ugali on my plate! It is a matter between me and my wife. It does not affect my work at all. Period.

STATEMENT ON CURRENT IMPASSE BY SALIM LONE, ODM DIRECTOR OF COMMUNICATIONS

2008-04-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

I would like to address some of the issues surrounding the current impasse on the implementation of the National Accord and the formation of the grand coalition government the Accord mandates for our country.

To begin with, let me emphasize two important statements made yesterday. The Prime Minister Designate Raila Odinga described the differences in the negotiation as “a small gap.” President Mwai Kibaki on his part indicated that the differences were “not insurmountable.” So clearly substantial progress has been made in these discussions and both sides are hopeful of a speedy conclusion.

The other point I want to address is the assertion yesterday by Government Spokesman Dr. Alfred Mutua that new conditions by ODM are not acceptable to PNU, and that there should be no pre-conditions. I am afraid Dr. Mutua is wrong on both these counts.

In our last letter to President Kibaki, dated 7 April, we wrote that “we look forward to availing ourselves at the earliest opportunity” to continuing the discussions.

In an earlier letter the same day, the PM designate proposed that in view of the numerous inconclusive meetings between the two principals, a joint team should prepare a series of agreements that would make it easier for the principals to conclude the negotiations. As I am sure you will all agree, each time a meeting between the President and the Prime Minister Designate is announced, Kenyans breathe huge sighs of relief. But when nothing concrete emerges, there is huge let down and even anger and frustration.

In neither letter was there a hint of new conditions or any pre-conditions.

Given the disagreement about what transpired in the one-on-one meeting on Thursday, we laid out in the letter the issues that needed to be addressed. NONE OF THE ISSUES WAS NEW. In a number of previous communications, we had indicated that the power sharing concerned not only the Cabinet but a range of other senior political appointments which have a direct bearing on the efficient running of the government.

Just as with the cabinet, these senior positions must also reflect the diverse face of our nation. At the moment, this is not all the case, and in fact is a source of immense concern in the country.

These issues remain on the table to be discussed.

So let me state clearly that the key stumbling block to an agreement is, first and foremost, the formation of a new Cabinet which reflects genuine power sharing as enshrined in the Accord and the Constitution. On this front, we have made numerous concessions in the hope that a final agreement would end the current anxiety and allow a new government to address the pressing priorities facing our nation.

On the basis of the portfolio balance we proposed, only five ministries are now at issue – Local Government, Foreign Affairs, Energy, Transport and Cabinet Affairs. We had gone to our very maximum in earlier negotiations by giving up the key Finance and Internal Security portfolios, even though we had previously insisted that one of these must come to us. That is why we refer to our position now as the “irreducible minimum”.

So let me conclude by saying that we, and all Kenyans, are extremely keen for the negotiations to move forward rapidly. We appeal to PNU to reconsider its position on the one immediate issue, portfolio balance, so that Kenyans can finally begin to feel that hope, and alleviation of their plight, is around the corner.

PNU Makes Its First Move In Grand Anti-ODM Dirty Tricks

2008-04-11T04:28:00.000-07:00

KACC Asks Mudavadi To Explain Kshs 10 Million Woodley House

The move that PNU masde this morning has been expected for months now. Those who have been regular readers of this blog will know that in the run up to the failed elections of last year and with dwindling support from Western province, this blogger was reliably informed that Musalia Mudavadi’s file was being looked at with blackmail being high on the minds of PNU operatives then.

One thing Kenyans should not forget about the duly elected president is that he has never made a decisive decision in his life. He always moves and hesitates a million times before finally making his move very late when the very effectiveness it may have had has been completely diluted. The Mudvadi issue is no exception because this writer is very much aware that it has been in the works now for a long time. Just the way William Ruto’s is still in the works.

Now after weeks of intimidating Musalia Mudavadi, the Kenya Anti Corruption Commission which is best known for prosecuting traffic policemen for taking Kshs 50 from matatu touts, has this morning moved to the high court to compel Mudavadi to appear before it to disclose how he acquired a Woodley house valued at Kshs 10 million which is in his name.

With that single move PNU have hit right at the heart of ODM in a strategy that is meant to create cracks of disunity within the ODM pentagon top brass of the party. It is yet another classic example of how justice in Kenya is so selective. The game is really very simple. Any ODM Pentagon member who dares to lift a finger will be told; “File yako pia tunangali.” (We are also looking into your file).

Interestingly in all the suspect deals that Mudavadi may have been involved in the past, those involving retired President Moi have been very conveniently ignored and the one chosen is a mere Kshs 10 million house in Woodley. Indeed it is the same reason that has helped William Ruto avoid harassment from KACC because most of his deals during the Kanu days involved Mama na Baba President Moi (now retired). President Moi, a close advisor of the duly elected president is obviously being protected and the idea is to keep his name out of the limelight as much as possible as his assets around the world are moved.

Also ignored by KACC are numerous personalities at the heart of PNU starting with a well known cowboy contractor who never completes projects but always finances President Kibaki’s campaign kitty. His name is Ephrahim Maina of the infamous Kirinyaga construction. Even more interesting is the fact that Roads Minister of the illegal cabinet, John Michuki in canceling contractor’s contracts is yet to touch good old Ephrahim. How can he?

Also ignored by KACC are some individuals close to the president who have been involved in a very dirty deal that has hived out a large tract of land from the famous Masai Mara game reserve. There is plenty of evidence on that case including some collected by a certain judge. But alas, it is not politically correct to prosecute those crooks. Instead KACC has gone for a man who when put next to most of the crooks within PNU is clearly made to look like Mother Teresa incarnate.

Of even more importance to the nation, if KACC are really eager to attempt to redeem themselves, would have been for them to prosecute all those jokers at the disgraced ECK who caused so much blood to be spilt in the country when they deliberately bungled the election at the tallying stage. Even my 7 year old grandson can clearly see the tons of evidence that clearly show the ECK announced results without any paperwork to support the gibberish they wanted Kenyans to believe were presidential election results. This corruption beats all other corruption deals done in the history of the motherland because it has spilt lots of blood (over 5,000 Kenyans lost their lives) and then it has split the country into half. The truth is that had the ECK announced genuine results, PNU supporters on the ground would have accepted them and gone back to the drawing boards thus keeping the country united. Instead the ECK acted at the behest of a handful of people who were prepared to do anything to ensure that Hon Raila Odinga (whom they just see as Mujaruo) did NOT ascend to the presidency.

Sigh. That’s Kenya and its’ selective justice for you.

The next move PNU are planning is to arrest another prominent ODM pentagon member and then to hoodwink the public that justice is fair this time, they will also arrest and charge a PNU MP who has been linked to financing violence and has had US visa problems very recently. Court cases take a long time and when the public have forgotten, the PNU operative will win his case and be freed while the ODM guy will be roasted.

As my favorite ODM MP said the other day; BRING IT ON!! Kenyans are ready.

We Are Ready For Fresh Elections, PNU Now Says

2008-04-09T04:35:00.000-07:00

And Why Kibaki Must Go NOW

The question on the minds of worried Kenyans now is whether the violence that has broken out in the country is spreading or it is just pockets of resistance that will easily be contained?

Reports reaching this blogger indicate that protests and skirmishes have so far been reported in Nairobi’s Kibera slums, Kipkelion (near Kericho) and in Kisumu. However all have been contained quickly and successful only that in Kibera the railway line that cuts through East And Central Africa’s largest slum was once again destroyed by rioting mobs. Still, at the time of writing this post, tensions remained high in most of Rift Valley.

But the biggest surprise came out of the tough talking PNU and affiliate parties parliamentary group meeting yesterday. The MPs emerged from their meeting vowing to fully support the president even if the worst came to the worst and he dissolved parliament and called for fresh elections.

Of course PNU were bluffing and the truth is that a fresh general election is the last thing President Kibaki wants. But Kenyans will also remember that not too long ago, the last thing President Kibaki wanted were the Anan-brokered peace talks. But they still happened did they not? And shortly after he had sent his ministers to say that those coming to broker peace were coming all that way for a cup of tea. My take is that I will be surprised if Kenyans do not go back to the polls within the next 12 months. But more on that later.

Obviously the game being played by PNU is one of bravado because the call for fresh elections from ODM is hitting where it hurts most.

The biggest problem president Kibaki would face (if he was even eligible to run again) would be from his own Kikuyu community. The truth is that these dear fellow Kenyans, our brothers and sisters have suffered greatly in IDP camps. But to add insult to injury politicians have taken to mentioning IDPs in recent times with only political mileage being the motive. There is nothing that can be more cruel and insensitive.

Nobody has lifted a finger to help alleviate their pain and suffering. In fact the IDPs problem has exposed our political class for who they really are and most of that blame must lie squarely on the door step of one Emilio Stanley Mwai Kibaki. Indeed it should be very clear now that what is ailing Kenya most terribly now is a disease, nay a fatal disease called Mwai Kibaki. Any Kenyan who is honest with themselves irrespective of what tribe they come from will quickly admit that if Mwai Kibaki were to leave office today the country would quickly get out of every crisis facing her today.

Let us completely forget our tribal affiliations for one minute and analyse the Kibaki presidency soberly and how the country has limped from one crisis to another, culminating in the biggest political crisis ever seen here (indeed bigger than the crisis of 1952 involving Mau Mau cutting off people’s heads and the state of emergency).

To be totally honest, the man is just NOT a leader. In fact for many years those who study management will have a text book example of how indecisiveness can be so dangerous in any kind of leadership. Not to mention the fact that he finds it difficult to get out of bed before 11 am on most mornings.

And now with the country at edge of abyss, President Kibaki has a chance to do the only brave thing he has ever done in his long career in politics, but NO, he won’t. Instead he will hang on to power, even if the country goes to the dogs.

In the man’s mind we are in the year two thousand and sixties. Liitle has it dawned on him that a vast majority of Kenyans today were not even born when that decade was starting. Indeed the most dangerous criminals we have today were not even born in the mid sixties. So how on earth can a politician like Mwai Kibaki lead the government to a creative solution? In deed so far his strategy has been to treat the symptom rather than address the root cause of the disease. In deed his supporters would ask themselves what happened to all those rosy promises of finding employment for the youth? He current troubles are not an excuse because the Kibaki government has spend a fortune on security and hiring new cops and the reason for the country requiring so many more policemen so suddenly again lands squarely on Mwai Kibaki’s door step.

This is all totally unacceptable.

I just want to make my position very clear here, because I can already see the barbs being aimed at me for this post. I am NOT suggesting that Kibaki steps down for Raila. NO WAY. Although the truth is that Raila won the last general elections, my view is that even he too should step aside so that the country has a chance of being re-united once more. The difference here is that Raila Odinga has had a long history of giving sacrifices and I have no doubt that he is the kind of person who would quickly step down if convinced that the people were demanding it.

The 10^th Parliament Will Be The Shortest Serving

Anybody taking a little time to analyze the political mood in the country at he moment will be able to tell that whichever way one looks at the current situation; the 10^th parliament will go down in history as the shortest serving parliament ever.

It is now abundantly clear that this American solution that was imposed on us of a grand coalition will just not work. Not now and not in 100 years. And amazingly many Kenyans too relived when the Anan peace deal was signed did not realize that there was no way it was going to work.

Picture the following situation. Thieves break into your house and steal everything. However because they are well-connected and powerful thieves, when police confront them, they claim that the property belongs to them and that they duly purchased it from various shops. And since they have stolen from poor folks who have no connections, the police know which side of their bread is buttered. One telephone call from one of the thieves and the local police chief will be transferred to oblivion. But then the poor people rise up and start protesting and violence breaks out. To restore peace and order the police decide that the stolen property will be shared out. However human nature is such that once a thief, always a thief. Have you heard of a thief who stole something so that he could return it? Only circumstances force thieves to return stuff and very dire ones at that.

So is it surprising that the side that stole wants the lion’s share of the loot? Not really it is human nature and even ODM were fools to believe that thieves reform overnight.

The only solution now is for Kenyans to use the information they have gathered since last December to go back to the polls. And in my view the country will be prepared much more quickly for those polls if Kibaki, Raila and Ruto are barred from running again. Indeed it will be an excellent idea if anybody who has ever held political office before is barred from running so that Kenya can get a real chance of having a clean new start.

A Slip of the Tongue

2008-04-07T07:48:00.000-07:00

In the shoes of a teacher whose tongue did a jumble, in front of the whole school and parents on closing day, when he was reading the marks of the pupils for all present to hear.

'Twas on closing day,
When my tongue did a jumble,
Not my liking, I suppose,
But it did all the same.

'Stood up to read the marks,
And I called parents pupils,
Tried again, stammering,
But it didn't help a thing.

Okay, I was corrected,
And called parents parents,
I could see them smiling,
Smiling at my slip.

'Asked them to forgive me,
For I would read in Kiswahili,
There again my tongue somersaulted,
This time my face felt hot.

I don't know what they thought of me,
A tall, good-for-nothing teacher, maybe,
But one thing I know, surely,
All of us 've had a slip one time or the other.

(Drop Ritch a line here: undaunted at yahoo dot com)

Please Forgive Me

2008-04-07T07:44:00.001-07:00

These are the words of a man asking for forgiveness from a woman. It takes loads and loads of guts for a man to ask for forgiveness from a woman. Most men believe asking for forgiveness, especially from a woman, is stooping too low and that it is a sign of subservience. However, I say, men of honour admit when they are wrong and, unabashedly, ask for forgiveness (even from women!)

I am lost for words,
Because of how I played my cards,
It's a real shame,
To even imagine.

'can't imagine,
That I did it,
To no one but you,
I simply can't imagine:

To you,
Whom yours is mine,
And mine yours,
I did such a damn thing.

How could I break your heart?
I know it hurt,
Right betwixt and between,
The wound and the flesh.

Oh, please do for...

'can't bring myself,
To say what I must,
(Though, I really mean it),
Please honour my request.

Don't shame me this once,
Lend me a listening ear,
Right, are you set?
Let me spill the beans.

I verily entreat you,
And earnestly ask,
Do forgive me,
Please forgive me:

Oh please do...

(Drop Ritch a line here: undaunted at yahoo dot com)

Is ODM Secretly Preparing For Fresh General Elections?

2008-04-06T14:49:00.000-07:00

As the comedy of errors over naming a simple cabinet, being played out at Harambee house in Nairobi drags on, seemingly endlessly, one thing is becoming increasingly clear by the day. And that is the fact that the sooner the country can go back to the polls the better.

In fact there are those who believe (including this writer) that only free and fair polls as soon as is practicable can save our beloved motherland from more blood letting. As usual the political class has completely failed to see the increasing clamor by ordinary Kenyans for fresh new leadership under a new constitution. Needless to say, it is abundantly clear that if the will of the people is continuously ignored and frustrated, we are headed for an ugly class war in Kenya.

But it appears that not everybody is oblivious of the inevitable. Recent actions by ODM leader Raila Odinga and indeed the unfolding of events behind the scenes at the party seem to suggest that ODM could already be preparing for fresh general elections. Probably the most significant change around Raila Odinga that seems to suggest this is the rise and rise of one Dalmas Otieno. It is instructive that in the names handed over to the President by ODM Dalmas Otieno has been earmarked for one of the most significant portfolios on the ODM side, namely the Ministry of Roads.

More telling is the insistence of analysts that the sudden sharp rise of Asian businessmen lining up to see the Prime Minister designate can directly be traced back to this Dalmas Otieno character. This writer is currently preparing a detailed dossier on the man that Kenyans need to know a little better. My report will appear here soon.

Incidentally the rise of Hon Mr Otieno has coincided with the rapid decline of Prof Anyang Nyong’o as a major force and figure on Raila’s side in ODM.

Clearly all signs point to ODM being keen on cutting the kind of deals that raise money for a political campaign, more specifically a general election and a presidential campaign.

But is Kenya really headed to another general election?

The answer to that question should be pretty obvious by now and I reckon that Kenya could well be back at the polls within a year at the most.

To start with the circus that has been played over the cabinet appointments makes it quite clear that there is no way that the two sides can work together. One does not need to be a rocket scientist to see that what will follow soon, even after the naming of the grand coalition cabinet will be endless squabbles within the crowded cabinet room. In fact it has become abundantly clear that even the reform agenda being touted may just end up still-born. Instead we will be treated to eternal drama as Kenyans continue to suffer in unprecedented levels. Interestingly President Kibaki honest view is that reforms are Upumbavu. Raila on the other hand will be hard pressed to push through any reforms when he will be so busy trying to contain the PNU onslaught and put out the constant fires they will surely light all over the place. In any case the ODM leader does not even bother to pretend to be a reformer any more.

Then there is nobody talking about accountability any more. What has actually happened is that we have opened the doors of the “jewelry shop” that is Kenya, wide open to mostly known jewelry thieves. The consequences of this are not too difficult to predict.

Of course President Kibaki and PNU will do everything in their power to resist a general election which would obviously put them at great disadvantage. However going by the mood in the country at the moment, they will soon find that they cannot stop the tide which will be powered by the masses of Kenya. In other words Kibaki and his cronies who are now confidently at the helm believing that controlling the military and security forces is enough will be hit by something they will not see until it is too late.

In fact the biggest threat to PNU and its’ affiliate parties which they are yet to see is in the numerous IDP camps in Rift Valley where people who mostly voted Kibaki are living in deplorable and inhuman conditions. These persons are extremely upset and will soon act in a way that will surprise the political class who are all busy sharing out the national cake without giving more than lip service to the plight of the displaced.

Actually on a positive note that anger is about to turn the Kenyans in those IDP camps from people who mostly voted along tribal lines into people keenly aware of the fact that there are only two genuine tribes that matter in the country. Namely the haves and the have nots.

It really is sad that this coalition government was a foreign idea imposed on Kenyans that will end up NOT working. Former UN general secretary Kofi Annan who fled soon after the deal was signed knows it and will not return for anything, which in itself is very telling.

P.S. President Kibaki was due to leave the country tomorrow for a State trip to India. It has now emerged that the president has cancelled the trip due to the ongoing keen negotiations with ODM over the cabinet crisis. Foreign affairs cabinet Minister, Moses Wetangula will represent him as head of the Kenyan delegation.

Who Is President Kibaki’s Boss?

2008-04-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

Grand Coalition Government Will NOT Be Announced On Sunday After All

Will The Real Duly Elected President Of Kenya Please Stand Up

It is unacceptable that as we enter the second quarter of 2008, I am writing this post.

The latest news is that even the bloated 40 member-cabinet will not be named tomorrow after all. Signs that all was not well emerged on Friday when the government spokesman Dr Alfred Mutua released a list of the proposed cabinet and the way they were going to be shared out between ODM and PNU.

It immediately became clear that President Kibaki had changed his mind after his breakthrough meeting with Raila Odinga, just the previous day. In fact my mind immediately went back to the widely circulated version of what had transpired at the Kibaki/Raila meeting. It is said that President Kibaki had reduced his earlier demand of cabinet poirtfolios from 44 to 40 expecting Raila to still protest but to his surprise, the ODM leader quickly conceded (for the sake of moving the process forward) and that caught the president unwares. He mumbled something about consultation and Raila is said to have asked him if he had other bosses above him. The two men then quickly concluded all details concerning the grand coalition cabinet including how they were going to share out ministries. In my view this list still greatly favoured PNU. (see ODM version of the agreed upon portfolio balance).

However it appears that when Kibaki consulted his bosses at PNU, they quickly rubbished the agreement he had had made with Raila necessitating the statement by Dr Alfred Mutua, this time presenting a brand new list approved by Kibaki’s bosses.

This latest antics from the handful of people who have held the country at ransom since last December provoked great anger in the ODM camp and Raila’s spokesman Salim Lone speaking on behalf of the ODM leader quite rightly pointed out that ODM had conceded a lot to get the country to where it was currently and there was NO way he was going to concede any more.

A government statement a short while ago now says that Raila Odinga and President Kibaki are due to have a meeting tomorrow (Sunday) morning at 10:00. Which makes the President’s remarks at a passing out parade at GSU headquarters on Friday take on a whole new meaning. The president said that the cabinet would be announced on Sunday afternoon. He emphasized Sunday afternoon. Could it be that after the meeting in the morning, the new cabinet will be announced tomorrow afternoon?

I posed this question to some knowledgeable insiders and they insist that it is doubtful. The point to the fact that the bridge to be crossed between the cabinet list prepared by Kibaki’s bosses and ODM’s position is very wide indeed. Besides whatever Raila and Kibaki discuss tomorrow morning will still have to be ratified by President Kibaki’s bosses later in the day.

Which leads us to the million shilling question; who is President Kibaki’s boss(es)?

There was a time when it was widely believed to be one Lucy “slap everybody in site” Muthoni Kibaki. But then the first lady has not made any public appearances since the disputed general elections of last December. Could it be that the new bosses have been in office since the election crisis? And if this is the case, who are they? Who are these people who did not present themselves for elections and did not even steal votes to qualify themselves as the final authorities over Kenya?

But even as Kenyans debate long and hard on that question, the civil society campaign against the bloated proposed cabinet has picked up with a vengeance. They have threatened to make sure that the swearing in ceremony scheduled for Uhuru park next weekend does not happen. Their argument and that of the vast majority of Kenyans is clear. Why should starving Kenyans support the big fat bloated cabinet? They are demanding a cabinet of not more than 24 portfolios.

If you want to know how serious Kenyans are, you should note the fact that nobody is laughing at some of the ministries. My eyes tell me that there is a ministry of cabinet affairs!! Can you believe that!! And then the ministry of Nairobi affairs has persisted!! We now demand one for Mombasa and another for Kisumu and why not add every major town in Kenya (while we are at it), after all the smaller towns need a ministry much more than Nairobi where all the big fat ministers sit and action is always quickly taken pretty quickly when there is a problem affecting them (and not the wananchi). For example, shortly after some of them spend 4 hours in a traffic jam, all matatus are quickly banned from the CBD.

P.S. It seems that Raila Odinga’s handlers are keen to portray their leader as an emotionless statesman (which is just not like Raila). Speaking at the funeral of William Ruto’s dad in Eldoret earlier today. Raila spoke about a new constitution for Kenya which will be the number one priority for the coming grand coalition government. Emotional issues like the numerous concessions he has made to PNU and how he will now NOT make any more concessions were left to his foot soldiers like Salim Lone.

P.S. 2 No PNU minister turned up at the burial of William Ruto’s dad. However Nichloas Kipyator Biwott was there. Surprise, surprise.

Who is listening in to your cell phone conversations?

2008-04-04T04:34:00.000-07:00

How you can protect yourself

After decades of Nyayo house torture chambers and government clamp downs on political activity, many Kenyans are still extremely nervous about who may be listening in to their cell phone conversations.

In the latest issue of my raw notes, I publish some extremely sensitive information detailing exactly how the system has been set up by security agents in Kenya to listen in to cell phone conversations and also to access sms messages sent.

Few Kenyans know it but there are quite a number of still-baffled Kenyans waiting for their cases to be heard where they have been charged with spreading alarming reports using their cell phones. What most of these people did was to simply forward messages that they received on their phones, some of which were true, according to my sources.

Get my raw notes today and get all this fascinating information and also learn how you can protect yourself and why sms messages are much more riskier than ordinary calls.

Plus the little known secret behind the real reason the Kalenjin love and trust Ruto so much.

* And numerous other heart-stopping stories every week.

How To Get Kumekucha's raw notes every week

I have increasingly found that a lot of the raw information I have I am NOT able to use in the public domain and especially here in Kumekucha for various reasons. I have therefore decided to launch a private facility called Kumekucha’s raw notes where I openly share the very latest hot information I have in my notes weekly, and especially what I am NOT able to use directly in Kumekucha. I will charge a mere $15 (or Kshs 990) for one full years' subscription to this information. If you are interested in subscribing to this hot info drop me an email NOW at umissedthis at yahoo dot com and I will give you further details of what you need to do.

By subscribing to Kumekucha’s raw notes, you will also be helping to finance the continued existence and enhanced quality of Kumekucha.

What Language Is Used?

2008-04-03T01:52:00.000-07:00

One commentator here today posed an interesting question that I would like to take up and ask Kenyans because it is important that we all know the answer to this question.

When the Safaricom IPO was being discussed in the corridors of power, what language was being used?

When John Michuki and now George Saitoti are being issued with instructions on how to shoot to kill and torture ordinary Kenyans (evidence is now rapidly emerging of military atrocities in the Mount Elgon region with killings and the kind of torture that makes the CIA look like kindergarten kids), what language is used?

When critical issues are being discussed amongst the most powerful in the Nairobi Stock exchange, what language is used?

When the most inner of the inner cabinet meet to discuss how to deal with “Raira” and those stone-throwing “Mjaruos”, what language pray you tell me is used?

When the issue of vetting ODM cabinet choices (and not PNU because they are all pure and holier than thou) first came up, what language was used? And as the reaction to this well timed demand is being monitored, what language is it being monitored in?

Are you in Nairobi… or Mombasa? Go now to the CBD and hang around listening to Kenyans talk. What is the most common tongue you will hear?

When Martha Karua misses her appointment at Serena Hotel and instead goes to State House instead to receive fresh instructions, what language does she communicate in and what language does she receive the most emotional parts of her instructions in?

What language does the President discuss the most sensitive issues arising from his regular NSIS briefings in?

When the inner cabinet is discussing strategy on how best to play for time and generally frustrate the ordinary folks and indeed the law concerning a grand coalition government, what language is used? When they discuss how the Safaricom IPO is more important than the IDPs, most of whom voted for them blindly in the last general elections (and most of whom speak the same language as they do) what language do they use?

What was the language of choice in the first Kenyan cabinet as ministers discussed amongst themselves waiting for the president Kenyatta to come in? This is what forced Daniel arap Moi, then the VP to take a crash course in this beautiful and well loved language. Luckily the late Tom Mboya who was in the same cabinet, had already learnt it and could even speak it fluently. And that’s because most of his constituents spoke the language.

What is the language of choice of the hardliners within the Kibaki administration?

My dear brothers I do not need people to hurl insults at me or throw stones. I just need a simple answer. If you do not know, just say, I do not know and keep your venom to yourself. Please.

Let me finish this post with two short stories of what happened to me on two different ocassions. I used to work for this monthly business and finance magazine as the editor. The owners of the publication spoke this language and one day I felt pity for a graduate who walked into our offices who had been jobless for many years. I recommended that he be given a chance in the sales and marketing department, the only place where a vacancy existed. Before I knew it, this guy (who spoke the same language as the owners of the magazine) was in the accounts department, and voila before I could say “what is happening?” discussions were being held between the owners of the publication and this accountant whom I picked off the streets, about my conduct. It was of course being conducted in that language. It did not matter that I rescued the publication from the jaws of bankruptcy and made it extremely profitable within a period of less than 3 months.

Actually in all my time at the helm of the business monthly, no article I wrote personally or published in the magazine had a single comma changed. But one day I did a cover story about the controversial language we are discussing here and the community involved in general. The owners demanded that I change the cover and leave out the story.

I was mad as hell, but ninge-do?

Then when my son was born and I went to the maternity hospital to see my wife, I had barely spent two minutes in the place when my in-laws came. They greeted me in Kiswahili and then switched to that language. One of them snatched the baby from my hands and the language filled that entire bed-side as they chattered away excitedly completely ignoring me without whom what had just happened would never have happened.

I was mad as hell, but ninge-do?

Actually I did do something. I walked out of that hospital and was never seen again until several days later when my wife called my office (there were no mobile phones in those days) asking me to come and clear the bill at the hospital and bring her home. I obliged.

I love my in-laws but nita-do?

Statement by ODM on obstacles to forming a legitimate coalition government

2008-04-02T15:56:00.000-07:00

Read by Hon Najib Balala, MP, Parliament building, 2 April 2008;

On 28 February, our nation breathed a huge sigh of relief and celebrated with joy as the tension and terror that gripped the entire country was brought to an end through a painfully negotiated Accord signed by President Kibaki and Hon Raila under Kofi Annan’s guidance. It seemed then that the terrible crisis we lived through had, at the same time, opened up the possibility of addressing the festering wounds that have troubled the nation for four decades.

Five weeks on, we are still in the same place we were on 28 February. Not a single concrete step forward has been recorded in the negotiations. There have been endless meetings without any agreements. PNU is repeatedly raising issues and making claims about presidential powers and government structures that were rendered irrelevant by the constitutional amendment and the National Accord and Reconciliation Act.

The heart of the Accord is “real power sharing” and “portfolio balance.” PNU continues to try to circumvent these cardinal principles in order to either have its own way or delay the creation of a new government for reasons best known to itself.

Kenyans are getting anxious and even alarmed by the stalemate. Yesterday’s tear gassing of a group of human rights defenders led by our Nobel laureate Wangari Maathai, who wanted only to deliver a letter addressed to the President and the Prime Minister designate on the need to limit the size of the csbinet, has further eroded the enormous goodwill among all Kenyans and raised fears that the old discredited methods of suppression are back in play.

In the meantime, numerous national priorities that need to be addressed urgently are being unattended to. Chief among these is the intense suffering of the very vulnerable IDPs in their scanty shelters in this rainy season, which will lead to increased illness and death among children in particular. PNU insists that they care deeply for the IDPs, and yet their words are belied by their actions.

Nearly 30 billion shillings needed to address the IDP and related issues were sought from donors two weeks ago. Donor ambassadors told the government then that funds for this exercise would only be released once a credible coalition government was in place. This applies to other donor funding for reviving the economy, tourism, agriculture, etc, which is also being held up as PNU delays the formation of this government by putting one hurdle after another in the negotiations.

So even as it delays the formation of a legitimate government which will allow IDPs and other suffering masses some relief, PNU was in a huge rush to ensure that the Safaricom went on sale without the built-in measures to ensure that privatizations are conducted in al lawful manner which benefits Kenyans, who as taxpayers helped build such profitable companies. It is hard to believe that ordinary Kenyans will only be able top purchase about 40 percent of the shares. A huge 35% of them are going to overseas investors, who will of course be primarily well-connected Kenyans with access to already vast fortunes abroad. More than a quarter of the shares are reserved for institutional investors.

The latest hurdle to the formation of the new government is the supposed drive by PNU to form what they term a “clean” cabinet, through which they are now aiming at one of us, Hon. William Ruto, as being disqualified. This is nothing less than laughable! The architects of the most ignominious mega corruption scandals, such as Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing, are serving in the PNU cabinet, as are others connected to organizing funding for Mungiki. And they are talking about vetting ministers to be proposed by Hon Raila for the cabinet? The Accord makes clear that PNU has no such power to challenge the names proposed by the head of the party.

This latest PNU ruse to raise side issues has a very simple purpose. By aiming at one of the pillars of the ODM team, and his region, these folk think they will be able to divide the party that decisively defeated PNU. Let me tell them that ODM unity is rock solid and cannot be undermined by cheap tactics of those who should be in the dock for their own crimes. If there is any evidence against Hon Ruto, why has this government which sees him as a key opposition figure, not prosecuted the case against him these last 4 years?

In any event, Kenyans know that it is ODM which stands for a cabinet which is both lean AND clean, That is why they elected us in overwhelming numbers. And that is why we believe that 25 is the ideal size of a cabinet, as we stated in our manifesto. We believe that even in the current circumstances, the best size is 28, and certainly no more than 30.

The fact is that we are back to the same situation as we were in 2002. Then Mr. Kibaki blithely reneged on an MoU that won him the presidency, claiming that the MoU was a private arrangement that did not need to be honoured. But this new Accord has the full force of the constitution and our laws behind it, and still the president is refusing to implement the power sharing arrangements. Kenyans would be forgiven for believing that the group in power has no intention of sharing or ceding, now or at any other time, the power it assumed on 30 December.

Let me conclude by saying that the currently stalled negotiations are not merely about the cabinet but about the formation of a legitimate government that will respected by all Kenyans. Government includes Permanent Secretaries, ambassadors, heads of parastatals, directors of state corporations and so forth. The cabinet is only the first step.

Kenyans will not tolerate any further delays in the formation of the new government.

Battle Lines Drawn... Again

2008-04-01T22:14:00.000-07:00

What do you expect if you go to your local police station and start throwing stones inside? Do you perhaps expect the police officers to invite you inside for a cup of tea while they calm you down and find out what the problem is? Figure it out for yourself my friend.

Yesterday, in what I am very sure was a carefully timed move, PNU MPs known to be mouthpieces of the party’s most rabid hardliners came out with guns blazing and insisted that William Ruto should be left out of the cabinet because of his alleged role in post election violence. Actually this particular utterance came out hot in the heels of another statement from the illegal cabinet to the effect that President Kibaki should scrutinize ODM nominees for cabinet posts.

Clearly there is a very deliberate effort to isolate William Ruto by PNU hardliners. It will be interesting to see what their next move will be.

In a quick rejoinder ODM came out and asked PNU to concentrate on their half of the cabinet and leave that of ODM alone.

Something else significant happened yesterday. The Anan peace talks collapsed. The reason was a lack of interest from the PNU side. Only one representative turned up, namely Mutula Kilonzo. Meaning that the illegal cabinet is pretty busy at the moment. The big question is… doing what?

The answer is… something more important than the “grand coalition nonsense.” Yep. That’s the thinking within PNU at the moment as the hardliners have taken complete control.

Of course they have totally failed to read the writing on the wall even as President Robert Mugabe seems to be on his way out in Zimbabwe. Most Kenyans are hardly interested in foreign news but spare a minute to consider something that directly relates to Kenya. If Mugabe is indeed ousted then this will be extremely significant. Mugabe is NOT KIbaki. Remember that this is the man who won independence for Zimbabwe and has distributed land to peasants and the landless all over the country. For this reason he was extremely popular in the grassroots. Probably the quote that best illustrates the resolve of the angry Zimbabwean voters is the following one which the International press captured in an interview with a voter somewhere in that landlocked country;

“We have never though of not voting for Zanu PF (Mugabe’s party) but this time, hunger opened our eyes.”

There is a wind of change blowing across Africa once again and the problem with these kind of winds is that they sweep everything from their paths. Especially stubborn and selfish persons with self interest as their only agenda.

It would seem from the recent happenings in the country that we are sliding back to exactly the same position where we were previously. A small gathering of activists graced by Nobel peace prize laureate Wangari Mathai which had gathered at Freedom Corner in Uhuru Park demanding that Preisdent Kibaki should not constitute a cabinet of more than 24, was dispersed by police using tear gas. This is interesting because this was not your usual group of hooligans from the slum mingling with thugs looking for an excuse to loot. This was a peaceful gathering of mostly the NGO fraternity.

Then 3 Ukambani MPs including Charity Ngilu echoed William Ruto’s call for fresh elections. PNU MPs promptly replied that the IDPs were a bigger priority than fresh elections. This would have been rather amusing if the situation of the IDPs was not so desperate and tragic. The truth is that PNU hardliners don’t care about the IDPs, at least not as much as they care about the Safaricom IPO and retaining plum ministerial dockets.

So the question now is; what next?

It is clear that PNU hardliners who are now in total control of the country, are spoiling for a fight judging from their utterances and behaviour over the last few days. And on the other side it is abundantly clear that ODM are pushing for fresh elections but do not want to look like they are the ones who have messed up the grand coalition even before it starts.

And as politicians play their games while waiting for their close to a million Kenya shillings salary at the end of the month, children are dieing from the cold and rain in IDP camps and ordinary folks are suffering the highest inflation rates since 1990. The price for Unga (maize flour) has climbed steeply in the last few weeks and there are clear signs that the country is headed in the direction of the kind of famine that has never been seen in these shores before.

Then there are numerous Kenyans who have lost their jobs and livelihoods as a direct result of the post election skirmishes.

Amid all these clear signs that all is not well in the country, a significant number of smart alec Kenyan investors (or shall I call them wishful gamblers?) are lining up to purchase Safaricom shares.

It is easy to predict the following quote coming out of the country in the near future;

“We have never thought of participating in demonstrations against the political class. But hunger opened our eyes.”

In my raw notes this week I will reveal what some high ranking ODM insiders believe will happen next. Find out how to get your copy of my notes.

Hearty Laughs All Round As Ordinary Kenyans Bleed

2008-03-29T02:35:00.000-07:00

The story of Kenya is really sad. Even as hundreds of ordinary folks lined up to start purchasing Safaricom shares yesterday, hoping to make a quick killing, details emerged that may not be such good news for them.

The privileged in Kenyan society are also not aware or have chosen to completely ignore the great suffering going on amongst many ordinary Kenyans that has been directly caused by insensitivity from the government. I have in mind the IDP camps where since the long rains started pounding down last week, life is rapidly becoming unbearable. It is obvious that we will soon hear of deaths in these camps as a result of young children being exposed to the cold and rain. But alas the government’s energies are at the moment fully concentrated on IPOs and ensuring that the Safaricom one is a huge success at all costs, ordinary mwananchi kitu gani?.

Secondly the campaign by Local government minister Uhuru Kenyatta (who has never used public transport in his life) to keep Matatus out of the CBD has caused a lot of suffering amongst ordinary Kenyans, more so as the city is experiencing a lot of rain these days. A clear illustration of the fact that the government has no idea what it is doing, is the introduction of special shuttle buses to get passengers into the CBD from Muthurwa and other far off pints where they are dropped by matatus from the residential estates. These shuttles are charging Kshs 20/- while the old fares from the estates remain the same. Forcing ordinary folks to pay more at a time when they are desperately trying to recover from the effects of the post-election skirmishes. So if somebody was paying Kshs 40/- to get to town, they now need to pay Kshs 60/-. All in all the return trip now costs Kshs 120/- up from Kshs 80/-.

This past week there was a case of a man’s leg being cut off when he fell from a moving train in Nairobi. The man also sustained injuries to the neck and was lucky to be alive. It is said that the man jumped on the train as it passed through the city’s Dandora estate in a desperate attempt to get to work on time. However eyewitnesses say that the man slipped and his leg was caught between the rail and the wheels of the train. He was taken to Kenyatta National Hospital by the police who arrived at the scene more than an hour after the 7:30 am incident. If he was conscious, you can imagine the agony the man went through all that time.

The bottom line is that the government does not care for ordinary Kenyans. Period. And this lack of caring includes ODM which is yet to release a single statement about the IDPs or the suffering Nairobi commuters.

But let us go back to the Safricom IPO, shall we.

You know how the rich and powerful laugh?

It is usually a hearty, forced laughter that has a lot of throat activity in it. Usually it will be accompanied by a sneer and a patting of the huge pot belly. It is the kind of laughter that is unmistakable and tells you that somebody has enough zeroes next to their bank balance to make you dizzy.

There was a lot of this hearty laughter from the rich and powerful at the Safaricom IPO launch yesterday, from characters like Jimnah Mbaru who has made an absolute fortune from the NSE so much so that if he was still having children he should name the next one “Stocks” Mbaru. Meanwhile it is becoming increasingly clear to this blogger that serious threats loom close in the horizon for Safaricom profitability.

For starters many analysts agree that the climb in profitability has peaked off and can now head in only one direction; south. Up to this point Safaricom has had no serious competition to speak of. Kencell entered the market first but the truth is that their management was a joke and they failed to read the clear signs on the wall in the famous per second versus per minute billing war. Safaricom were charging more but cleverly passed the message to consumers that they do need to pay for seconds they did not use. Kencell completely out of touch with the common man in Kenya were charging less per minute but resisted introducing oer second billing until it was too late. In fact they started talking about it being cheaper to order a bottle of wine rather than a glass of wine at a restaurant. Wine ni pombe? many Kenyans wondered. The Kencell European managers, were never able to explain why Kenyans went for the higher tariffs.

But Kencell and their out of touch European management is no more. The recent take over by Celtel has already shown clear signs that the future is definitely going to be a lot more red (Celtel colours) than green. Safaricom are for the first time experiencing real competition.

But perhaps the largest threat yet has to do with the changes taking place at Telkom Kenya. France Telecom has purchased a significant stake and the CDMA wireless system has taken off like a rocket. The huge advantage is the cheap rate calls to landlines. Then there is also the fact that this system is favored by businesses who ordinarily make a lot more calls than individuals. A price war of sorts is inevitable and that is bound to reduce profits dramatically for Safaricom. The fat cats behind the Safaricom IPO have this information and more. Which convinces me that their strategy on Safaricom is rather short term. The shares are not 5 bob for nothing, I can assure you. It is all dependent on the masses buying the shares in large numbers and so many people missing out on the IPO that they will be lining up at the NSE when trading starts in June ready to buy at a slight markup. This will shoot the price up quickly, the fat cats will then clean out and make a strategic retreat and the Kenyan public will have paid them handsomely for their trouble. You know what will happen when the fat cats dump the shares. In fact some of the same fat cats have invested heavily in Telkom Kenya through the foreign investor (details of that can be found in my raw notes. Sorry that information is still too hot to publish here.)

P.S. Here are some fascinating tidbits about mobile telephony in Kenya.

Kenyans are only second to the Phillipines in the world in terms of using SMS text messages.

Nairobi density of cell phones during the day is higher than that of New York, a city many times larger.

It is still a puzzle to Safaricom management why phone traffic between 8:00 pm and 8:40pm on week nights is four times higher than normal.

Most of the government statistics on income expenditure and population are all wrong and are still wrong. One just needs to look at the huge number of cell phone users in the country to prove this. The government’s figures on Internet use are also hugely understated (Kumekucha can authoritatively tell you).

What Kroll Report Says About Mobitelea Ownership and That Of Other Companies

2008-03-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

CAUTION: According to my information the ownership of Mobitelea as suggested in the Kroll report is not accurate. The true owners are named in my raw notes. Msamaha alleges that the following companies are owned by those detailed and NOT Kulei.. Name of Company	Ownership Structure
Stoney Athi River	George Saitoti
Heritage All Insurance Company	CFC Bank
NIC Bank	Ndegwa Family
Trans-National Bank	Moi, Biwott, Nyachae, Kangwana, Gideon and five others
A Laikipia ranch	Moi 100%
An Eldoret farm	Moi 100%
A Rift Valley dairy farm	Moi 100%
The Kabarak farm	given by Moi to University of Kabarak
The Mau farm	given to the AIC (Church) by Moi
The Cherengani farm	now owned by Government
The Kilgoris farm	leased by Moi
American Life Insurance Company	Trans-National Bank, Moi, Biwott, Kulei
Kobil and Kenol Petroleum	Moi 50%, Biwott 50%
Nairobi Airport Services	owned by Moi, Mungai and Ndegwa
Rai Plywood of Eldoret	Moi 6%, 94% Rai family I
Safaricom Kenya	Biwott, Charles Field Marsham and Gideon 40%, the Post Office 60%
African Cargo Handling	Since sold to Kenya Airways
Kenchic Ltd	Moi, Charles Njonjo, P.K.Jani, J. Kiereini
Morris and Company	Kulei used to be a director but left in 1992
Capital Project Transport	Boinett 50%, Philip Murgor 50%
MDI Consultancy	Miles Donnelly
Anhalt Road Apartment	Miles Donnelly
A Dairy farm in the UK	Msamaha refutes ownership
Hotels in the UK	Msamaha refutes ownership
Firestone Africa	No Comment
Kenya Commercial Bank	No Comment
Kamsons Ltd	No Comment"
DT Dobie Car Distributors	Not Comment"
The Paper House Ltd	Kulei became nominee a! AGr,1
Rift Valley Agencies Ltd	No Information
Gambit Holdings Ltd	No Information
Great Rift Transporters Ltd	No Information
Sovereign Group (owned by Sovereign Holdings)	Kulei, William Sambu, N.R Pavitt, Secretary: Grace J. Kipyator

Naomi Campbell and Mass Action Over Safaricom IPO

2008-03-27T16:16:00.000-07:00

Kenyan politics is getting rather tiresome and exhausting, especially for yours truly. So let’s start this political post on the fringes.

World super model Naomi Campbell loves the Kenyan Coast and that is where she spent the recent Easter holidays. Kumekuchans will remember that one of the most desirable women on earth had a case in 2006 where she was accused of throwing a cell phone at her maid or something. The supermodel has quite a temper.

This was hardly the first time the volatile Campbell, 35, has been accused of assault. Yet another employee said Campbell threw a phone at her during a tantrum in 2001. Then in 2004, Campbell’s maid claimed that her employer slapped her. Campbell pleaded guilty to an assault charge for beating yet another assistant in 1998. As the Americans say, Phew, some broad!!

But even more fascinating was the fact that during her recent stay in Kenya, Ms Campbell released a statement from her Malindi hideout praising Kenya as a holiday resort and declaring it very safe for tourists. That was excellent PR for Kenyan tourism, especially after what has happened in the last two months or so. But wait a minute! Who organized that publicity?

You will begin to understand what I am driving at when you realize where Ms Campbell was staying and who owns it. She was at the Lion In The Sun Resort in Malindi. A mere weeks stay at this private resort costs 36,000 Euros (don’t bother converting it into Kenya shillings, just know that it is a lot of money, actually close to Kshs4 million).

It is owned by world renowned playboy Flavio Briatore. This man has been linked to the underworld. Need I say more, you all know the kind of Italian crowd that runs Malindi don’t you. My point is that you can be sure that Mr Briatore did not do this kind f favour to the Kenyan government for free. Of course the favor will be returned in some way and I leave that to your imagination. Hint: Mr Briatore is NOT an ice cream magnate.

There have been rumours that Briatore and Campbell are lovers, which has been denied by both parties but the paparazzi say they have evidence contrary to the denials.

Those are the kind of powerful persons who deal with the Kenyan government. I must emphasize, the duly elected Kenyan government.

Oh and I almost forgot to add something very important. Despite the hefty prices charged at this resort, in 2002 the angry employees threatened to burn the place down because they were sick of their low salaries which they said were much lower than the generally very low salaries in the Italian neighborhood in Malindi.

* * *

ODM has called for mass action tomorrow (Friday) to protest the launch of the Safaricom IPO after the PNU government completely ignored appeals to delay the IPO so that the issue can be discussed at great length in the yet-to-be-named grand coalition cabinet. Actually the IPO raises too many questions.

However if only you knew the owners of Mobitelea and who is really the power behind the Safaricom offer you would understand a lot of things. Keep your eyes on this space to find out, or alternatively subscribe to my raw notes which has all the shocking details.

* * *

Meanwhile TNK a regular commentator of Kumekucha has the following fascnating observation and suggestion to make;

Having read this article

and the very many contributions by many over the composition of cabinet i must say am still totally in the dark

what exactly is the message being given by these leaders? am going to try below in a simplistic near naive approach

a) that the ministries are not equal and therefore the ministers also are not equal as such some ministers will be considered to be more senior in position on account of holding a more strategic or otherwise more senior ministry or portfolio i.e there will be mheshmiwa senior and mheshmiwa mdogo. supposing that that is true, then why not turn those junior ministries into departments and thereby also solve the problem of bloated cabinet.

b) members of parliament unlike councilors are elected to not only represent the interests of their constituencies in a national forum but to also debate the interests of other constituencies in order to foster harmony and promote the well being of the nation. further, when any of these MPs is appointed to a cabinet assignment then national interest should supersede or be very close to constituency interest and priority. so theoretically it should not really be a problem which MP is appointed to what ministry but that the ministries are well defined and a specific non-partisan and national code of ethics govern the conduct of performance with appropriate checks and balances. kibaki said in his campaign trips that the electorate should give him a clean set of MPs, and as he claims to be duly elected so then are the duly elected MPs who have been chosen to represent their constituents, so why is it a problem to give any MP a portfolio. Is kibaki and pnu saying that only PNU mps are worthy of certain ministries adn why? Is the problem ODM, PNU or is the problem the MPs. Lets suppose an MP say were to somehow cross over, say Anyang Nyongo defects to PNU will he suddenly be a better Minister of Planning than when he is Anyang Nyongo of ODM or will he be rewarded for stoking kibakis ego and therefore performance is inconsequential? if Michuki defected to ODM, will he still be a worthwhile minister fro roads or somehow his credibility will change in an Orange shirt? What exactly is the message? What madness is being preached? if these 220+ mps are unworthy of posts when in opposing parties why pretend to sit in debate with them in parliament?

c) assuming that kibaki finds his distribution of posts very balanced in the PNU proposal, aside from President and PM posts would he give the posts he suggests for ODM to PNU and affiliates, and those he has suggested as for PNU can he give these as is to ODM, remember balance means each team can be awarded either side and it still remains fair.

I hope Annan comes and uses the PNU proposal but awards the PNU side the ODM slots and vice versa and suggests that in all fairness that to be done for the first year and then reverse in the next year. Stupid, yes but these people are also playing stupid games with Kenyans.

ODM Statement On The Privatisation Of Safaricom

2008-03-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

Few public events in the financial realm have been as eagerly awaited in the history of our country as the forthcoming Safaricom public offering. The company is one of the most successful in our country’s history, thanks to the investments made by Kenyans’ hard-earned tax contributions.

For ODM, the most important dimension of this and all other privatizations of public corporations is to ensure that the ordinary Kenyan is able to compete in the purchase of shares on a level playing field with all other Kenyans and institutions. These public offerings offer Kenyans not only an opportunity to benefit from their small investments the way the well-to-do have always been able to do, their purchase of such shares also gives them a stake in the future of this country’s peace and stability.

ODM last year opposed the sale of Safaricom because it did not meet this cardinal test of providing a level playing field for all Kenyans who wished to participate in the Safaricom share offering, rather than organized business enterprises which stood to reap most of the benefits. To ensure that this level playing field obtains for ordinary Kenyans, ODM believes that exceptional arrangements must be made for a sale as eagerly sought by millions of Kenyans as this one. For example, the requirement that shares need to be purchased only through banks and brokerage houses which are difficult for most Kenyans to access need to be reviewed.

We also believe that the entire offering, and not just a portion as currently envisaged, must be made available for Kenyans.

There are, of course, a host of other important reasons which forced us to oppose the sale. We moved to the High Court of Kenya to seek orders compelling the Government to bring into operation the Privatization Act and to conduct the intended privatization of Safaricom within the provisions of the Act. ODM had the following major concerns with the Safaricom privatization:

· The ownership of shares worth in excess of five billion shillings in Safaricom by MOBITELEA under circumstances that have never been made public and which appear to have been made otherwise than as a “true investment” by the owners of MOBITELEA poses the danger that these “ghost owners” will now be unjustly enriched. The identity of MOBITELEA and its shareholders is still a secret; having been kept hidden by the Government;

· The Privatization Act was enacted in 2005 to regulate all future privatizations. By the time that ODM moved to Court, the Minister for Finance had not published a notice in the Gazette bringing the Act into full force and effect, a period in excess of two years, thereby rendering the legislative authority of Parliament nugatory.

· The Privatization Act requires Parliamentary approval of all privatizations and sets up a Privatization Commission, imposing standards of transparency to protect the public interest which were not being followed in respect of the Safaricom privatization.

· Issues of equity with regard to the distribution of Safaricom shares amongst various income groups, gender and regions of Kenya had not been addressed.

· There was a deliberate attempt by the Government to fast-track the privatization of Safaricom before the General Elections in December 2007 even though the fundamentals, such as the capacity of the Nairobi Stock Exchange to handle the transaction, remained doubtful. The timing just before the Election and the Christmas gift buying period meant there would be a less than robust appetite for the stock among ordinary Kenyans. There was strong suspicion that the speeding up of the process was being caused by considerations other than the public interest.

The court case by ODM was therefore initiated in the public interest: to protect the legislative authority of Parliament, to bring transparency to the privatization of Safaricom, to stop unjust enrichment by a few individuals who appear to have acquired interest in Safaricom vide MOBITELEA, and to demand equity in the distribution of the shares of Safaricom to all segments of Kenyan society.

The High Court declined to grant the orders sought by ODM. ODM then proceeded to the Court of Appeal but its appeal was further denied. ODM’s only interest in pursuing the case was the public interest.

In the meantime, the Minister for Finance, Amos Kimunya, published a Gazette Notice bringing the Privatization Act into full force and effect from January 1, 2008. He then proceeded to appoint a Privatization Commission. All these actions are a direct result of the pressure generated by ODM’s court case.

ODM is keen to ensure that the privatization of Safaricom proceeds as smoothly and as quickly as possible. However, certain fundamental questions in addition to those stated above need to be addressed.

1. The privatization of Safaricom must be in conformity with the provisions of the Privatization Act. The process should therefore be transferred from the docket of the Investment Secretary at the Treasury to the remit of the Privatization Commission, as the law requires.

2. The preparation and submission of a Privatization Strategy to Parliament for public debate is required under the Privatization Act.

3. The issues of equity raised above need to be formally and systematically addressed. Given the recent problems at the Nairobi Stock Exchange, is this the right time to undertake such a major privatization at the Exchange? In any event, concrete measures have to be taken to address the regulatory and structural inefficiencies of the bourse.

4. How was the value of Safaricom shares established?

Theses and numerous other questions that remain unanswered must now be addressed in the interest of transparency on a subject that it is of such immense interest and concern for countless Kenyans. The only prudent approach therefore is to subject the entire privatization process of Safaricom to the requirements of the Privatization Act, as now in force.

Our aim as a party is to encourage and support economic growth with equity and social justice in our country. As such, the sale of Safaricom through the Stock Exchange is a very positive step forward which Kenyans applaud, but we must ensure that the sale is conducted in a way that will benefit the greatest number of them. We should therefore proceed with the offering within the requirements of the Privatization Act, which will of course mean that the share offering needs to be delayed.

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Is PNU Rather Desperate For The Safaricom IPO?

2008-03-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

The reaction of government hardliners to the dust ODM has kicked up concerning the Safaricom IPO is really fascinating. As I write this, I am still gaping in wonder.

I had braced myself to see the entire PNU force coming out with both guns blazing. Woi! Nothing of the sort has happened as I write this. Instead what we have seen is a very polite and humble Amos Kimunya speaking with great restraint and respect to the PM emphasizing to the press that he did speak to Raila Odinga about the IPO and Raila Odinga indeed supported it, just last week. The truth is that neither Raila Odinga nor the ODM are on record has having denied Amos Kimunya’s well publicized statement at the time to the effect that they had met and discussed the IPO with the ODM leader. In fact Kimunya added a rider, to the effect that Hon Raila wanted to purchase the shares on the spot, if it were possible. That silence to Kimunya’s significant utterances must now be interpreted as accent on the side of Raila Odinga and ODM. Let us be serious here, folks. Please.

Interestingly in reply to one question today Kimunya said that ODM should be considered separately to the Prime Minister designate. Implying that Raila Odinhga still supports the controversial Safaricom IPO.

The other government bureaucrats quickly fell on this administrations favorite “whipping boy.” They say, the law gives them no power to halt an IPO in progress. That one really made me laugh. I wondered why the same law does not stop the same government from banning matatus from the Central Business district and causing so much chaos as well as suffering to ordinary Kenyans as they blunder around for a solution. Can you imagine Uhuru Kenyatta saying; “The law does not allow me to stop any vehicle from coming into the CBD”? Interestingly, the latest drama in this CBD circus is the fact that although buses are supposed to ferry people from Muthurwa to town it takes ages because Nairobi still has a serious congestion problem in the mornings even without the Matatus. Could it be those multi-vehicle families including that of the Minsiter of local governments? But I digress. Oh I forgot, all his kids go to school abroad (what happened to the Visa ban?)

PNU are saying that they have no way of stopping the IPO from happening even if they wanted to and whose fault is it? Why, the law of course!!

So why is it that that I sense desperation here? Why is it that I even sense fear? Fear that the lucrative (for a few) IPO may actually be halted. Nay I sense panic. And why, I pray to ask, has this Safaricom IPO been speeded up at such breakneck speed? Approvals and hurdles have been cleared in record time and it is scheduled to launch this Friday.

This thing reminds me of my days as an employee when people in the office used to stop everything to help speed up the accounts department and the endless procedures so that the salary cheques could be send out early. This is further evidence even for those who have a terrible cold and have lost their sence of smell, that there is a terrible odor coming out of this Safaricom IPO. All Kenyans of goodwill should stay clear of the thing. Anybody who cares about Kenya and fighting corruption and the fat cats must have nothing to do with that demonic, devilish IPO. And those who end up handling the prospectus on Friday should make sure they wash their hands thoroughly after that. With soap. This thing which has caused ODM to tell lies in broad daylight… na bado. Remember Goldenberg and how it destroyed so many reputations? Just watch what happens with this Safaricom IPO.

Poor Prof Anyang Nyong’o. This unsung brave hero of the struggle was forced to keep quiet all those days as the Safaricom IPO was rushed forward. Now suddenly when PNU and ODM cannot agree on the cabinet, ODM changes its’ mind about the Safaricom IPO. The same IPO Kimunya tells us they were enthusiastic about and nobody challenged his statement then. Please, let us deal with the truth here. It will always set you free.

This is a good time to introduce Prof Nyong’o to all you young Kenyans out there who were toddlers or not even born in the 1980s. That was the time the good professor was a guest of the State at the dreaded Nyayo house dungeons and torture chambers. The man himself admitted once in parliament how his private parts were squeezed using a pair of pliers (ouch), in a vain attempt to make him sing like a bird to the Special Branch about his involvement with the clandestine Mwakenya anti-government movement at the time.

No wonder the good professor causes fear in PNU quarters whenever he calls a press conference. At the time when Nyong’o’s “valuables” were being given “mechanic treatment” at Nyayo House, the then MP for Othaya Mwai Kibaki was busy singing mama na baba songs and saying that the government was a Mugumo tree and those who were opposing it were like some silly man trying to cut a Mugumo tree with a razor blade. Kenyan politics is very funny because as you read this it is not Nyong’o or the other brave Kenyans who suffered untold torture to fight for freedom in this country who are seated in State House. It is in fact the Mugomo tree chap who is there. Wonders of all wonders.

Let me say it again fellow brothers and sisters; stay very far away from the Safaricom IPO folks. Trust me, I beseech you to do that for the love of the motherland. There will be other bigger and better IPOs after we have sorted out this mess, I assure you, even if I have to float Kumekucha shares.

P.S. President Kibaki had to wake up very early yesterday to make it for his meeting at Harambee house with Raila Odinga. The duly elected president usually wakes up at 11am or a little after that. Now many people, me included are usually in a bad mood when we have to wake up earlier than usual. Could this be why these guys who have proved to be great buddies in recent times could not agree?

But what is even more interesting was the body language and close consultation that went on with Prof George Saitoti yesterday. Here’s a tip to ODM if you are planning to ask for Internal security docket, forget it. Too much work has been done there in readiness for what is about to happen. Trust me Saitoti can not be moved from that ministry. Curious as to what work the mathematics professor has been so busy with? Keep your eyes on this space. Or even better get a copy of the Kumekucha Raw Notes

P.S. 2 Joke of the day (I have never laughed so hard in my life). One of the new Ministries being proposed by PNU; Ministry of Implementation of Vision 2030. While they are at it we also need Ministry To Investigate Election Theft, Ministry to investigate the government spokesman.

Meanwhile some civil society folks have recommended a cabinet of 24. NO Way! That’s too large. Germany who currently have a coalition of 3 political parties have a cabinet of 15! I change my position. Let the new grand coalition government have no more than 18 ministers (max) and then one assistant minister in each ministry. No need for assistant ministers in the Prime Ministers and President’s offices. And by the way the 18 should include the PM and his deputies as well as the Vice President.

Shocker: PNU Proposing 44 Ministries Including Hilarious New Portfolios

2008-03-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

High Drama: ODM Now Changes Its’ Mind About Safaricom IPO

Raila And Kibaki No Longer Smiling As Coalition Cabinet Remains In Limbo

Even before the celebrations of peace are over trouble is looming large in the horizon. Insiders had informed me that the grand coalition government would be announced as early as this last Easter weekend Saturday and catch everybody by surprise.

Those spreading this story had assumed that the principals President Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister designate Raila Odinga would quickly agree. It was not to be.

Today After what reliable sources say was a stormy meeting that lasted from 11 am to about 2 pm Raila Odinga and Preasident Mwai Kibaki for the first time did not emerge together and neither were they smiling. It was clear that all was not well.

A further indicator of trouble was that some ODM people leaked some details of what had gone on inside Harambee house today. A clear sign that this coalition marriage is in trouble even before it has been consummated.

It is now dawning on Kenyans that the powers that be do not have a reform agenda government in mind. PNU wants no less than 44 cabinet ministers; 23 from PNU and 21 from ODM. ODM are suggesting 34 ministries which is not any better. Actually the grand coalition government should not have more than 20 cabinet portfolios.

One of the new ministries being suggested by PNU for ODMers is a ministry of Nairobi affairs. Amongst other extremely hilarious portfolios that will have the rest of the world laughing at Kenyans for weeks on end.

Actually what has happened is that PNU are insisting on keeping ALL the ministries that they already have.

And in reaction it seems that ODM have moved extremely fast. The dormant-for-weeks Prof Anyang Nyongo immediately called a press conference and announced that ODM are now NOT supporting the Safaricom IPO due to be launched in two days. They have recommended that it be put on hold, until it can be fully discussed. Quite an about turn from just a week ago when Finance Minister Amos Kimunya assured the public that ODM leader Raila Odinga was in full support of the IPO.

So it now seems we are almost back to the familiar situation of a deadlock between PNU and ODM once again.

One thing that has not yet sunk into the heads of the political class and wil cost them dearly in the weeks and months to come, is the fact that the country has changed fundamentally since last year’s general elections. For starters the public are scrutinizing their leaders and what they are doing much more closely than they ever have. A case in point is the Safaricom IPO which is being pushed forward at breakneck high speed even as various quarters rub their hands in glee and lick their lips waiting to reap a huge sum of cash from this historical IPO.

They seem completely oblivious of the fact that 132,000 shareholders who brought their shares in NSE listed companies through the collapsed Nyagah Stock brokers are distressed and asking lots of questions about the NSE operations. It has emerged that Nyagah Stock brokers were already technically insolvent at the end of 2006. So the question is why did the NSE allow them to continue operating and why did the Capital market Authority look the other way?

But there’s more. Some reliable sources indicate that auditors have found the firm to be indebted to the tune of over Kshs 800 million. Yep, approaching Kshs 1 billion.

It is increasingly clear that there is a very foul smell emanating from the NSE and more so from the proposed Safaricom IPO. The NSE is a closed club where a few rich people use the general public to make huge profits using their special privileged position that allows them access to insider information not to mention the manipulation of shares.

Can you imagine a soccer league where the owners of clubs manage the league and are also referees in matches involving their own teams? That is exactly what the NSE is.

If you cast your mind to last year when the Finance minister Amos Kimunya was telling Raila that the stock exchange is not a fish market, you will quickly realize that the problem was that Raila had touched what is almost considered to be a private members club. And even before that NSE chairman Jimnah Mbaru who also owns a stock brokerage firm of his own had told some amused lunch guests at a city hotel that ODM’s popularity would impact negatively on the NSE.

The truth my fellow Kenyans is that there are some games being played at the NSE and one of the reasons why the elections had to be stolen had everything to do with the Safaricom IPO.

It seems that ODM leader Raila Odinga was not quite the push over some people within PNU thought and the next few days should be very interesting. It will be fascinating to see what happens in this high drama. The only sad thing is that the tension is creeping back.