Men, it is said are really babies who never grow up. I am a man but unfortunately there is too much evidence to support that allegation.
The excuses wives come up with to avoid submitting to their husbands' conjugal rights are centered on the nagging headache that magically and conveniently appears the moment the man of the house wants to get "heavily romantic."
All hell breaks loose in many Kenyan homes mainly because trouble starts with the way the man asks for it. When he was dating the girl that is now mama watoto, the asking was an elaborate well thought out affair. It would usually start with a nyama choma session at he favorite joint, conveniently close to where all the action would take place later. "Just one drink" would follow but actually it would end up being many drinks. You know the drill.
But now that the chic has become mama watoto and supposedly his property, the drill changes dramatically. After he has complained about everything from the moment he got home the brute orders Mama watoto to turn over in a gruff voice the minute they are in bed. Others even give silent instructions military style with only signs of the hand.
But the subject of this article is based on the fact that the women of Kenya have come a long way and these days many put their foot down and refuse to be treated like some overused doormat. Now how some men react when they have failed to receive the "goods" the night before. Ladies read the following different case studies below and see where your man fits in;
a) Wakes up the following morning in a very bad mood, leaves the house without leaving any food money because clearly he looks like he will explode the moment anybody makes any attempt to ask for any money from him.
b) The moment he is told "Not tonight sweetie." In a very nice way, he sulks and moves to the sitting room sofa where he spends the night. Inevitably he wakes up with a stiff painful neck in the morning and of course its' all the fault of the wife.
c) Calls his mother and converses in his vernacular for a long time until Michael Joseph disconnects the call until more air time can be purchased.
d) Some silly men actually get violent. Former Ugandan VP and the first woman to be appointed Vice President in Africa used to do this and left the VP's security detail in great difficulties over what to do. The beating was such that the VP's life was often in danger and they were forced to intervene.
e) Goes to sit in front of the TV flipping channels looking for steamy sex scenes.
f) Calls the new Maendeo ya Wanaume secretariat to file a complaint.
g) Sulks in the house for a week, all the time maintaining a face that closely resembles those huge mandazis cooked in kiosks in rural areas that have excessive baking powder and this "swell" to abnormal proportions.
h) Despite the protests rapes his wife (actually most Kenyans—including unmarried women swear that rape is not possible on the marital bed) Her bitter tears are not a deterrent. When he is finished, he then taunts her to report it to the cops, the chief or anybody else she would like to.
Any other unique reactions out there that you, my dear readers would like to share?
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