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Friday, March 09, 2007

Real Gikuyu Man Answers Frustrated Beauty Who Complained About Her Lovers

Wewe Kumekucha,

If you do not publish this I will confirm that you are a coward with the agenda to discredit men of a certain prominent Kenyan community in this blog of yours. You have repeatedly done it on the political front and now you want to maliza kabisa on the social front.

The remarks of one so-called, allegedly frustrated Kikuyu beauty cannot go unchallenged. Every man out there with a Kikuyu woman knows the truth. They know where the problem really is. It is not with the men but with our women.

I can only classify them as the worst tease ever. They are mostly attractive. That is if you don't consider the ankle and lower legs area—and sometimes the posterior, which can be flat enough to use a T square on. But in bed, Aiii !#&@#! Let me say that they leave a lot to be desired and that is being very, very, very kind indeed.

As has been suggested by various insightful and intelligent persons who have left comments at the said second rate article post, the problem is not with Kikuyu men but with Kikuyu women and I am certain that this is where the problem is with this kawoman.

I have reformed but in the days when I was known as "bad news Kamau" I went through many Kikuyu women and they are all the same. Boring, stare at the ceiling waiting for something to happen and generally cold when they should be hot, detached when they should show some enthusiasm, silent when they should cry out and generally emit noises that can encourage better performance and without which plan B, which usually takes the whole episode to a higher level, can never be executed. I think that is the reason why I am not married to a fellow Kikuyu despite the best efforts of my good mum (bless her soul) in launching a serious Moi-project-Uhuru on me, in an attempt to impose a certain candidate for wife.

Some of my older friends say that the whole problem stems from the fact that many Kikuyus still circumcise their women, which is designed to kill sexual desire. I do not agree because many other tribes circumcise their women and they are still hot with a capital H. The Masai is one example. And another which I once had a personal unforgettable experience with, are the Merus. Wow!!

This Kikuyu beauty of yours, if she really exists, is the problem and now she is trying to pass the buck to Kikuyu men. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Kikuyu men and I believe that they are amongst the best in the market because apart from being good providers of which there is no argument about, we are also sensitive and skillful lovers.

The problem for centuries, has always been with our women. I believe that one of the reasons that causes our women to be so cold is that a very large percentage of them are gold diggers. Money comes first and it is what turns them on and probably off at times. I say off, because sometimes their minds wander off to what they are going to do with the guy's cash. I suspect that as they are staring at the roof and counting the ceiling partitions, they are most probably thinking about the other "S" which is much more important to them. The other "S" is of course shopping.

Read the post that provoked this article